it was a dark & stormy night…
Last night. And there I was all snug and cosy in bed enjoying the sights and sounds. I really do love thunder and lightning storms but I remember that my mother used to be terrified of them. She’d close all the curtains and warn us kids to stay away from windows. And nobody was allowed to use the phone or take a bath 
Having said that, I should also say that I enjoy thunder and lightning storms best when I am dry and comfy inside and there is no need for me to go out.
Anyhow, all this pondering of dark and stormy nights has reminded me of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest , sponsored by the San José State University, which recognises some of the worst examples of the sort of “dark and stormy night” writing first penned by Victorian novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton.
“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”
And so, kind of a two-parter here. How do you feel about thunder and lightning storms? And do you have any especially appalling examples of writing that you’d like to share?
I love thunderstorms when I’m tucked up nice and cosy in bed.
Edward B-L on the other hand…
The tragedy is it wouldn’t actually need to be changed much to become moderately good.
In grad school, my dorm window faced the only real high-rise building in Richmond, Va. – the 20-plus story City Hall. Summer thunderstorms there were especially spectacular because the City Hall lightning rod took plenty of hits. I’d turn off the lights, pop a cold beer and enjoy the light show.
As for appalling writing, I’d refer you to whitehouse.gov’s news release section for the last 7 years . . .
In Toronto I lived on the 26th floor facing the lake (about a mile up from the lakefront) with a clear view of the CN Tower. I saw some spectacular ‘light shows’ from my balcony there, though I never actually saw the CN Tower get hit. Isn’t that a cool photo?
My view was about half a mile to the left, but I could see the tower and lake better because I was higher up.
I love a good thunderstorm, actually. We had a very spectacular one here the other night. It ignited 36 forest fires, but luckily it was accompanied by a torrential downpour and the fires were quickly put out. That’s the danger around here.
As for atrocious writing…well, we’ve already discussed Dan Brown…I never could stand Charles Dickens.
Ah, but did Charles ever come up with anything like the porkers in the Contest List?
I actually quite like Dickens, though I sometimes find he’s a bit too sentimental. I can’t remember ever finding much fault with his prose. Also, he wrote his novels after coming home from writing all day at the newspaper office … no government grants for him to take a sabbatical and find his muse.
The wonderful Bulwer-Lytton. I published the complete suite of prize-winners back in May as a three part series. They are so worth reading. Thank you for reminding me.
And thanks for reminding me of your more complete listing. Aren’t they perfectly awful?
I keep trying to write a “First paragraph” which would be a match for some of them. Maybe we could start a competition
Well, I did ask people to post some examples here, but still no takers. Will you be the first?