borrowed time
So I got the good news yesterday that my CT scan came back negative, which now buys me another three months, and hopefully more. Though I am still a bit concerned because my last CT scan in February also came back negative, and then when they did a PET scan in March they found new metastasis in my liver, and I went back on chemo in April, blah, blah, blah.
The thing is, I am pretty sure I won’t ever be able to make myself go back on chemo again, so these tests have become a different sort of “threat”. Not just that of finding more cancer, but of me not being able to do any more treatment. Sure, maybe I would change my mind if I was faced with yet another recurrence, but for now I just want to focus on the next three months and live them as much as I can.
You see, the doctors don’t expect to cure me. And so, like all people with Stage IV cancer, my best hope is that I will live long enough to see some new treatment developments that might prolong my life in a way that is bearable. For me, being on chemo is not bearable. It’s not living. And so I hope this remission is a long one. Fingers crossed!
All my fingers and all my toes are crossed, Az…
I’ll keep my fingers crossed! Good luck…
Thanks. And this will probably also help explain why I don’t want to have to waste precious time trying to post comments on Blogspot.
Here’s to this three months being extended indefinitely, without chemo.
{{{{{{big hugs}}}}}}
Big hugs
{{{{{{{{azahar}}}}}}}}}
I will reserve my big ol’ bear hug and give you one of the long lasting, pat the back ones, they are quite satisfying and mostly popular.
…but, sadly, not available through the mails..
Next time, zoomer. But the bear hugs are quite nice too.
Hugs, fingers crossed, and good karma being sent south.
Stick with it – as I have said before, I don’t have the background to understand, but I am doing my best.
I pray it’s the longest remission ever recorded. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could “donate” time to each other? Big hugs from New York.
So far so good…
Yes, I know I’m a cynic bitch.
Live your life as you want, and you already know you’re the only one to decide if you’re going to accept any more treatment or not. Treatments and exams are never to be accepted just to ease anyone else’s angst.
>>Zen Hugs<<
I’m glad to hear the good news about the CT scan results! Sending warm wishes your way for a l-o-n-g remission.
The bear hug link led to the video links which led to having a nice video *visit* with you. I miss you both, miss pip as well- what happened to that girl, was it my deodorant??
Anyway, long story short I’m going to try to fit in another visit, if not sooner then after the Olympics (February so probably March or April). I can’t promise anything at this point, only that I’ll try to budget it (right now the condo-of-the-year is sucking money out of my account and credit card like a $1000 hooker ).
Miss you and wanting you to keep eating broccoli and green tea well into 2011, at which point the doc will say- *Maybe a visit once every year is in order* or whatever that is in Spanish.
http://www.blogdelossimpson.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/flanders.jpg
We’ll both look forward to it immensely. Perhaps another magical mystery tour will be in order.
If you come in March you might be here for the azahar. I think you’d love that. I’ve even got a fabulous apartment picked out for you.
And another magical mystery tour sounds like a great idea. I know exactly where to go … three days this time.
Oh boy! Something to look forward to.
Zoomer, you couldn’t swing by Ottawa and somehow manage to hide me in your luggage, could you?
If my remission ends up being as long as yours then I will feel very fortunate indeed, Anne.
Thanks for all the good wishes, everyone.
And you are absolutely right, dragonqueen. So far so good.
Well if that isn’t the best news I’ve heard in a dog’s age. You should post the clean scan on CC as well! And have a lucky espárrago blanco for me — I have a scary-as-hell PET coming soon so I WISH I COULD BE YOU! Love from Taipei, Jdepp.
Jed, I’m so happy to hear from you! Glad you made it safely to Taiwan – a change of scene will really help, I think. So … you’ll be getting the PET done there, I presume? How soon?
I know I have had much more of an “easier ride” than you and I feel ashamed of complaining so much when I know what you’ve gone through. I look forward to hearing good news and exotic tales from you over the next year. *hugs*