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Monthly Archives: June 2011

cards

25 Saturday Jun 2011

Posted by azahar in birthdays, photohunt, photos

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

cards, photohunt


Today’s Photohunt theme is “cards”.

It’s been just over three years since I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer and I have another PET scan coming up on Monday, so it won’t be surprising that birthday cards are my favourite and I hope to still get lots of them. These are a couple of pretty ones that I saw in my friend’s shop this morning.

photohunter

reconnecting

24 Friday Jun 2011

Posted by azahar in friends, health & happiness, life stuff, tapas

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

beer, friends, sevilla, tapas

You may remember Pilar – one third of my fabulous team in the nuclear medicine department. Well, it turns out that just after my last PET scan in January she fell ill and has been off work ever since. We’ve stayed in touch by phone, but she hasn’t been up to going out until the past week or so. And so she organised it so that we would meet up with another old pal of ours, Montse, and her baby Irene.

Here we are sitting outside a tapas bar in Montse’s barrio, enjoying some cold drinks and snacks and catching up. Both Pilar and Montse were also students of mine at various times over the years but, although I’ve seen Pilar quite a bit, I actually hadn’t seen Montse for about three years. I knew about her first child but was surprised to see her almost ready to have her second. And Pilar looked great, with lots of energy, but she doesn’t expect to return to work until after the summer. Which means Monday will be the first time I’ve had a PET scan without my “Pili” there to make me feel at ease and – very importantly! – to give me my results straight away. But I’m hoping that either Isabel or Ricardo will be able to break the news (either good or bad) to me before I leave the hospital. And I also hope that Pilar gets better soon so I can start giving her the year of pre-paid English classes I still owe her.

After a couple of very pleasant hours we said our “hasta prontos!” and I met up with Nog to have one more Cold Beer before going home. Stopped at a kind of rough & ready place around the corner from the house that I wouldn’t choose to eat at, but it had Cruzcampo “Glacial” and a nice terraza that was catching a lovely breeze. So we sat out and listened to the Gay Pride concert that was going on at the Setas. This was the view from the terraza.

Finally came home to cuddle cats and turn on the a/c for awhile before going to bed, and I found myself thinking about what a wonderful day it had been (including my early morning Corpus Cristi walk) and what a wonderful place Sevilla is to live in. Happy.

corpus cristi 2011

23 Thursday Jun 2011

Posted by azahar in fiestas, photos, religion, sevilla, spain

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

corpus cristi, sevilla

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I made sure to get up early and take in Corpus again this morning. I wish I could post the smell of the rosemary and the feel of the cool morning air.

And also how great this tasted afterwards!  —>

Now it’s back to work. No rest for us freelancers, especially after being out all day yesterday with lunchtime and evening tapas tours and a class with Agustín in between. Quite a “full” day but now I’m way behind on my social media stuff.

  • Also posted on the Sevilla Blog (in a different format).

scanxiety!

22 Wednesday Jun 2011

Posted by azahar in cancer, chemo, hope, hospitals

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

cancer, hospitals, pet scan

It’s that time again … got a call from the hospital yesterday (while I was fretting about having to make this terrible decision) and was told my next PET scan would be on Monday at 8am. And then the scanxiety set in. I haven’t had it this bad since last year at this time. In fact it will be almost exactly a year, just one day off. Though of course I had my last PET in January.

I was nervous last time but, as I only had a couple of day’s notice, I didn’t have so much time to worry. This time it came as a surprise because I thought it wasn’t going to be until the end of July, and so now I suddenly have almost a whole week of sleepless nights ahead of me.

The other thing that makes it scarier this time is that since my last “all-clear” two very dear friends have had inoperable recurrences and have been given chemo as a last resort, and I worry that I’m next. As usual I am kicking myself for not having made all the healthy lifestyle changes I should have, as if daring the cancer to come back – how stupid was that? But of course there’s nothing I can do about that now to change Monday’s outcome.

I have so much planned for the summer now that work is finally picking up, and I so want to be able to do it all. In fact, I have a tapas tour on Monday evening. Wonder how I’ll manage to do that if I end up getting bad news. BUT… all of this is scariest in the wee hours as I lie awake and turn it all over and over again in my mind. Right now the sun is shining and there’s lots to do.

slippery slope

21 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by azahar in cancer, death & dying, life stuff, rants

≈ 32 Comments

Tags

fed up, scared, tired

Okay, some days are better than others, but I have to say that most of the time these days it feels like I’m on a very slippery slope indeed.

After getting kicked out of my home of 16 years and then landing on my feet in the lovely new place I live in now, I cannot ignore this one very important fact … I CANNOT AFFORD THIS PLACE ON MY OWN.

Most of you probably know that I’ve had a flatmate over the past seven years who I like to think of as my friend, but sometimes I just get overwhelmed and fed up. Would a friend just sit on their butt and not do anything at all after I continually set them up with classes and work and projects that would help him make make a living?? Even when he is no longer paying his share of things, which puts way more stress on me. Even after I got cancer and wasn’t able to work. I mean seriously … wtf? Now I’m supposed to support this person financially when I am scrambling daily to make ends meet, and all the while frantic that the next PET scan might end up with me back on chemo – and then what??

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