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ikea hysteria

October 22, 2012

I’m hysterical. After spending most of Saturday and then several hours today putting this goddam bed together… ONE DRAWER won’t fit. I think it might have something to do with the ONE SCREW that wouldn’t go into the base. In any case, it had better get fixed. Have already sent off a written complaint to IKEA and have contacted them on Twitter.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I’m guessing it must be like childbirth… between IKEA purchases we forget just how hellish the assembling bit was and then decide it is somehow worth not paying the extra 30 euros to have it done for us. I don’t even want to think of the hours I’ve spent doing this but the physical side-effects are hard to ignore. My lower back is in serious pain, hip joints are screaming, knees are bruised from crawling around on marble floor, and various muscles not used to being held in prolonged unnatural positions are adding to the misery. Other casualties include the bottle of wine I put in the freezer to fast-chill this afternoon while Peter and I fit the drawers. This was supposed to take about half an hour – NOT THREE – and of course the bottle exploded. And so instead of enjoying a nice glass of wine at the end of my labours whilst being pleased about my nice new bed looking LIKE THIS I am now drowning my sorrows with a bottle of cava I’d been saving for another occasion.

To be honest, this was the nicest bedframe I’d found – and the cheapest. So I should’ve just splashed out and had IKEA do the assembling. The other places included delivery and assembling but their prices were way higher. Lesson learned. I hope.

21 Comments leave one →
  1. October 22, 2012 10:02 pm

    I still have an Ikea bedside table that I actually once used by the front door (keys, spare pepper sprays, outgoing mail, that kind of thing). The cabinet in the bottom half of the unit — thing — whatever — NEVER would stay on the hinges. You would pull the door open and clonk, right on your foot. I’ve finally put it in the cats’ room (the spare bedroom) where I store Feliway and the Stink-finder blacklight in it. No one cares if the contents are visible there.


    • October 23, 2012 3:31 pm

      I finally forced the drawer in but – of course – now it won’t open. It wouldn’t matter if it were one of the ones I wasn’t planning on using anyhow, but it’s the one I wanted to keep sheets in. Fuck. Still waiting for IKEA to DO SOMETHING, but at least now it’s not sticking out.


  2. Steve Pay permalink
    October 22, 2012 10:04 pm

    If it makes you feel any better most of our bed in is still in the kitchen about a month after they delivered it. The divan parts won’t go up our tight liittle stairs so they await the convening of a work party to put them through the first floor window.

    Oh well, at least they make a good thing for Foley to sit on a and demand attention.


    • October 23, 2012 3:26 pm

      You mean like this…?


      • Steve Pay permalink
        October 24, 2012 8:21 am

        Exactly like that, except our divan is in two pieces half that height. Don’t think our lazy puddlings would bother to get to the top of something that heigh!


      • October 24, 2012 9:43 am

        Luna shimmies up that thing like the little ninja-cat that she is. I think body weight has a lot to do with it as she weighs next to nothing. If Loki tried it the whole thing would come crashing down on him.

        But that mattress is now gone. So cruel of me throwing out such an excellent cat toy.


  3. Dawn permalink
    October 23, 2012 12:01 am

    OMG I’d be screeming mad too. When all is said and done I hope you sleep well, you deserve it!!


    • October 23, 2012 3:32 pm

      The bed is wonderful. And the mattress is a joy after sleeping on the lumpy one the movers wrecked (over a year and a half ago). So that part is good at least.


  4. October 23, 2012 5:23 am

    While some Ikea items are easy-peasy, marvels of design and engineering, I will here make a confession: I have been reduced to near tears attempting to assemble and install a certain item from their fine catalogue that shall remain nameless.


    • October 23, 2012 3:33 pm

      They may be marvels of design and engineering but they seem to have forgotten that humans don’t have that extra arm that’s almost always needed.


  5. October 23, 2012 12:12 pm

    I just love assembling Ikea stuff… *hides under the table to avoid getting hit*


  6. October 23, 2012 3:41 pm

    By the way, I don’t actually use blue sheets – those were inherited from Susan when she moved and I keep them aside as my “Málaga sheets” to take down with me when I stay at Manolo’s apartment. Blue sheets are nice for the seaside but at home mine are always natural white, usually with a pretty trim. Of course now I have to buy new sheets, but these will do for now (old ones are too big).


  7. October 23, 2012 4:54 pm

    Looking not too bad now…

    The blue was a bit jarring, especially with the orange bed cover. Will just use the old sheets until I can find some new ones the right size.


  8. October 29, 2012 11:06 pm

    It looks like the wood is warped. Maybe it’s the camera angle…


    • October 29, 2012 11:12 pm

      What I took to be a warp appears to be the “handle” area. I would take the drawer apart and take it to the store and get them to replace it from a complete set. Hopefully it is the drawer and not the bed, itself.


    • October 30, 2012 6:50 pm

      They finally got back to me this afternoon and said they’d be sending someone over to look at it… on November 12th! Better than nuthin I guess, but it would be nice to use the drawers.

      The problem isn’t the drawer, it’s the base.



  1. if it ain’t fixed… « casa az

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