It seems to be turning into an epidemic.
Lately I’ve been coming across so many people complaining about the Christmas season in various ways, ranging from mild dislike to out-and-out hatred.
It seems that those who dislike/resent/hate Christmas the most are those who feel somehow pressured or obligated to do things they don’t particularly like doing during this time of year, or they dislike/resent/hate the way other people celebrate Christmas.
But surely they are placing the blame erroneously. If one cannot say no to family and/or friends, should they blame Christmas? If they don’t like the manner in which some people exploit the holiday season and the crass commercialism that goes on … why say it’s the fault of the holiday? And if it’s the religious aspect of it that they dislike, well, this is easy enough to ignore.
It seems to me that these scrooges are redirecting their frustrations in order to avoid acknowledging where the real problems and issues lie. Though of course there are some people who just complain for the sake of it because they enjoy complaining. 😉
Another anti-Christmas argument I often hear is that people should always behave with compassion and generosity towards their fellow man, not just once a year. And I quite agree. But like birthdays, anniversaries and such, Christmas is a once-a-year reminder to behave this way and I see nothing wrong with that.
Anyhow, I really love Christmas, though my best Christmases started happening after I left home at age 15. I’ve had a few nice family Christmases since then, but my best ones have involved cherished friends and loved ones. And one quite memorable one when I was in my early twenties, doing my laundry and then going out to the cinema as I was on my own. I reckoned that since I was all alone I’d get all pathetic and do all these sad and pathetic things … but then I saw that I wasn’t actually on my own. There were plenty of other people at the laundromat and at the cinema and it was somehow comforting to be in their company.
So basically, Christmas is what you make it, though it may not always turn out to be exactly what you expect.
casa azahar 
I myself love the Christmas season, despite not having any sort of religious aspirations.
Since my grandmother died a few years ago, my Christmas-celebrating side of the family has sort of fallen apart, and so I’m not looking forward to my family’s Christmas. All the magic is gone. Which, I suppose, is one of the reasons I’ve taken refuge in a sort of more commercial aspect of the holiday. I love going out and seeing all the shops decorated with red bows and greenery, and I love wishing everyone a generic happy holidays. I baked cookies for my friends and I went to a Christmas party last night with some kids my age. It is interesting to see how other people “take” the Christmas season, and as far as I can see there’s nothing at all wrong with it. Other people’s Christmases could be better than your own, and could be worse, and maybe part of the “point” of the season is everyone sharing Christmas together?
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I’d like to put my side of the debate here, but there’s a very real danger it’ll turn into autopsychoanalysis.
I started having trouble with Christmas at the age of six, when Mum’s stepfather died on Christmas Eve. The sound of christmas carols still makes me feel physically sick.
When I reached the age of reason and discovered that Christianity was not, in fact, the only valid belief system (or even *a* valid belief system 😉 ), there was even less reason for me to get involved in Christmas.
I have no issues with general happiness and people being in constant party mode and all that; what gets right up my nose is being obliged to be festive. Compulsory office parties, that sort of thing. Being told to ‘cheer up and get into the spirit of things’ by the office Barbie-dolls as they hang up tacky and vulgar decorations. G’rrr. Not only are they silly people, they’re also causing distress to one’s aesthetic sensibilities.
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As a certified (or is that certifiable) curmudgeon, I see it as my role in life to grump at anything and everything. Including birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas. My curmudgeonlyness with respect to Christmas is a little like the curate’s egg. I enjoy the family part of Christmas. I even enjoy buying or making gifts and receiving back from others. What I cannot stand, I loathe and abdomen – errr – abominate Christmas carols. Interminably repeated, for months on end. I loathe and detest (whew, got out of that one) strangers and their “Have a Happy Christmas” mantra which may mean something to their karma but gets my karmic back up. I loathe and hate Santa Claws sitting in every shopping centre, building the “Gimmee” reflex in those too young to realise what is happening. I hate all those houses wasting our Earth’s precious resources by displaying just how crassly four million christmas lights can be strung around a house. But I love Christmas cake, and Christmas Pudding with brandy custard. I love the silly hats you find in the “pull-apart” and those jokes are the best jokes of the year.
And I love my family around me. (Copying this to my blog cos it feels good)
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Pingback: A Curmudgeon’s Christmas « Archies Archive
The world seems to be split into two types of people, doesn’t it?
Christmas this year is particularly difficult for me because of events in my life this year that have been, well, pretty shattering.
I now see things from the point of view of people in similar situations to me, who really, really, don’t feel like celebrating Christmas and would honestly prefer to hide in a hole until it’s all over.
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*joins Woodpigeon in the hole and starts pouring large drinks
I’m not against Christmas per se – I just amn’t very interested in it this year.
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Neither am I.
My original plans was to ignore it, just relax and enjoy my vacation. Read a few books and watch the DVDs I never have time for.
However Geek, oldest son, decided to spend Excessmas at home. His siblings are going to the South and my ex.
I won’t make any special preparations anyway. The ones in need for pork based food can go south.
I think I’ll have scallops instead.
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I like the family get-together and Christmas dinner aspect of it, but the whole crappy presents and cards bit I could do without. It is – as you put it – crass.
I was arguing with someone about this today and what it came down to was that as an anarchist, and rational, independent-minded person I reject all forms of socially imposed ritualistic behaviour. It is not that it is in itself pernicious (it is a bit, especially for the poor, but not so bad compared to some), but that is just another expectation about how we are supposed to act and live our lives. I find that oppressive.
“But you love the tree”, she said. I had no answer. 😦
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You can love the tree and not feel like you are having it be ritualistic behavior socially imposed upon you.
BTW, I love Dragonqueen’s term for the holiday: Excessmas. May I borrow that for the duration of my life? It absolutely expresses all that is wrong and distasteful which has been imposed upon this holiday.
We are very happy that the Army saw fit to grant our son leave and so we will get to see him over the holidays. He is free from Dec. 19 to Jan 2.
We have a pair of friends who are quite dear to us. They refuse to get caught up in the consumerism of this, and any other holiday that “traditionally” involves giving gifts: Valentines’ day, Mother’s day, etc. They made a pact long ago in their relationship. It is something like this: If you “Have” to give me a present, then the compusory gift has no meaning, and I would rather not have it. Give me something when it strikes your fancy and when it is something you KNOW I will love.
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Excessmas is not mine.
I learned it from a friend at The Other Place, Mazin´ Mad Fiddler, and I think it’s a very good explanation of what this is all about.
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It really is unfortunate that so many people feel “obliged to be festive” as that seems to be the main complaint about Christmas. I’ve seldom been in that sort of situation, probably because I’m seldom guilted into doing stuff I’d rather not do (selfish cow that I am) 😉 .
Also the concept of Excessmas doesn’t really bother me because it doesn’t personally affect me. Ditto with the religious stuff.
I’m a bit like echo in that I tend to pick the bits I enjoy and go with those (I also love the lights and decorations). Though I also know it can be a hard time for people who are alone or going through difficult personal stuff, with so much emphasis put on ‘togetherness’, but again, that is more socially imposed behaviour.
That’s why I said it was wrong (or at least misdirected) to blame Christmas for one’s feelings as Christmas clearly means many different things to many different people.
*hugs* to Teuchter and Woodpigeon … I’ve sat out a couple of Christmases myself. Sometimes it’s the only way to go – nothing quite so sad as forced jollity.
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One of the few things I like are the cards. I send many, and always have.
Nowadays most of them are e-mailed, which actually means they arrive in time.
I’ve not sent the paper ones yet *sigh* They will hopefully arrive to the recipients before New Year.
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I’m absolutely with you on this, azahar.
Refuse to let other people’s expectations run (ruin) your life, whatever time of year it is!
Enjoy the parts you like and maintain a dignified distance from the parts that drive you nuts.
*hugs* to Teuchter and Woodpigeon from me, too. And I’m really pleased to hear that your son will be home from the Army for Christmas Healingmagichands. Enjoy those scallops Dragonqueen!
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Here’s another cheery left-wing scrooge’s view of christmas. 😀 Merry winterval all! 😉
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Hmmm, this is a toughie. I’ve spent a lot of Christmases on my own. Even before M died, I wasn’t always happy.
Last few years I’ve actually enjoyed Christmas more. I’ve noticed that strangers seem kinder to others at the holidays, that’s a good thing. And I like the lights, and the cookies!! 😉
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