
How do you tell the difference? Or is it simply a case of …
I am opinionated.You are biased.He is judgemental
But seriously folks, I’m curious about this. Even the dictionary doesn’t give a clear distinction between the two, yet the word ‘judgemental’ has a much more negative connotation.
And if you end up calling someone judgemental, does this not immediately turn into one of them thar pot/kettle situations?
“Words,” said Humpty-Dupty, “can mean whatever I choose them to mean.” We shouldn’t rely on dictionaries to define words for us. Maybe English isn’t subtle enough to cover all the necessary nuances (sic!)?
I’m opinionated. I have some firm opinions that I enjoy stating…vigorously. I don’t necessarily expect others to share them, though, and I certainly don’t (necessarily) think less of people for disagreeing with me. Not on the trivial things anyway. So I’m not judgemental. Honest!
In fact…how dull it would be if we all agreed. I’d much prefer people to come back at me with “Shite!”. Challenge my opinions. Stretch my horizons. Make me think. Death to boredom!
Or not. We don’t all share the same passions.
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Don’t you just love irregularly conjugated verbs 😉 ?
But this sort of “spin” comes naturally to us humans. Even physicists recognise spin as a fundamental property of the universe.
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So then what line does one have to cross in order go from being perceived as opinionated to being seen (judged?) as judgemental?
To me being judgemental implies that one is being somehow unfair, holding an opinion that includes some sort of negative moral evaluation of someone else (or someone else’s ideas).
On the other hand, opinions don’t necessarily reflect on anybody else and can simply be a personal point of view.
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So then what line does one have to cross in order go from being perceived as opinionated to being seen (judged?) as judgemental?
Impossible to judge. How can we tell where someone else is going to draw their lines? I’m reminded of the time I was arguing on the phone with my sister-in-law (my wife doesn’t talk to her any more, so it wasn’t my fault).
I said, “Look – I’m trying to be conciliatory here.”
She said, “Stop showing off with your long words that I can’t understand.”
And then there’s Roger McGough:
“I retreat. You recoil from the blow.”
“This above all – to thine own self be true.”
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Or in the words of the Divine Ms Midler … fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke!.
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Doesn’t it depend on who is doing the describing, when labeling someone as “judgemental”? Some people deliberately call themselves judgemental, particularly when trying to convey that somehow they *are* in a position to judge others, like, say, some religious adherents?
Judgemental is not *always* pejorative; but, in my experience, people who think they have the right to judge are usually seriously deluded.
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Forgot to mention, opinionated is fine — and much truer a description. 🙂
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“Judgemental” does not equal “Incorrect,” so I’m fine with any of the above labels.
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‘Judgemental’ doesn’t necessarily equal ‘incorrect’, though one can be incorrect in one’s judgement of someone. I think people often equate being judgemental with being arrogant, and again, in terms of this being perjorative, it’s probably a question of degree.
My most favourite people are arrogant to some extent, and sometimes to quite an extent. The great thing about really arrogant people is that they seldom resort to pettiness, so it’s easy (for me) to feel quite comfortable and secure around them. Though these types don’t usually end up becoming close friends.
Me? I’ve been called all these things at some time or another. But it seems to me that ‘judgements’ need to have some sort of effect somewhere to be classified as such. Otherwise they are just opinions. Does that make sense?
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As is evident above, judgemental tends not to be an adjective I have heard someone use to describe themself, so it obviously has some sort of overtone (undertone?).
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I believe that opinions are you speaking about yourself – you ideas, your beliefs etc.- and being judgemental is you speaking about others. I also believe that being judgemental comes from a place of insecurity and feeling threatened, not so with opinions. Turns out, I’m pretty stong in both and am trying to stop the judgemental. Look inward, I tell myself – when I feel judgemental. Easier said then done.
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