Mapping of cat brain which includes:
- obsession with imaginary insects
- mysterious adoration of just one spot on the bed
- barf gland!
- short circuit that makes a purring kitty an arm-shredding maniac in two seconds
- inexorable fear of vacuum cleaners
- search & destroy lobe for expensive imported textiles and ceramics
- can opener sonar
- licking gland
- total drive to be where they are forbidden to go
- inability to get along with new cat
- asthmatic person locator
- shedding on freshly vacuumed surfaces cortex
- hatred of dogs
- infatuation with people who hate cats
- commitment spot (gets larger when can opener sonar is activated)
Did they miss any?
[originally published in MS Magazine, July/August 1992]
casa azahar 
Oh yes, there is a very important one missing: the preference for sleeping on freshly washed black clothes. This is a part of the brain connected to the color of the belly. White bellied cats have this brain deformation.
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Black cats invariably sleep on freshly-laundered clothing, with a preference to knits and synthetics.
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Sorry… missed the “white” as in “white clothing”.
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There’s the inability to understand cause and effect…
“I lie on the floor at the top of the stairs and when someone steps over me and I jump up, they have tripped over me. If I had stayed put, they would not be lying at the bottom of the stairs instead of feeding me”.
“Rubbing against tall vases can knock them over. They did not fall over on their own. Nor did an earthquake happen. Nor can I look at the dog on the other side of the room and blame him.” Addendum: “Looking mystified fools no one”.
The spot in the brain which tells the cat that any movement of a human being it an indication that they WILL be fed.
“Humans have a very short attention span so you have to lead them to the kitchen, stopping every few inches in case they get distracted by a shiny object. People are very clumsy and for some reason trip over you while you are leading them to the kitchen. There is no know cause for this”.
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It’s exactly that. Amazing.
The propension to go and sit on the lap of the person most likely to have to get up just afterwards? (Like, needing to pee or to take a ‘phone call)
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*giggles*
There is also a spot for “waking up human at 4 am, demanding breakfast” and the adjacent one ” spot for starting loud fight with other cat at 4.30 am in case human didn’t get up to make breakfast”
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The warm spot where somebody has just been sitting detector?
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I believe they have left out the “needing to have door opened no matter how many times the cat has already been through it” center.
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The blank spot for the inevitability that the weather at one door is the same as the weather at any other door in the house.
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Any gyrus or formation connected to the barf gland that directs barfs to the surface where they are most difficult to clear up?
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Or the instinct that says, when you are barfing you should back up AS you are barfing to ensure a maximum amount of floor/bed/couch surface possible.
If you barf once, you should do it a second time 4 feet away, just in case the first one didn’t get maximum floor coverage.
If you happen to be on a tile surface when the urge to barf is making itself felt, move immediately to the carpeted or an upholstered surface. The more expensive the carpet/upholstery, the better. You “person” would want only the best for you.
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