Should we ever tolerate intolerance?
This subject came up elsewhere the other day, about how elderly parents sometimes come out with embarrassing bigoted comments yet it’s somehow ‘okay’ because they are not actually bigots. 😕
Anyhow, this got me to wondering – why do we do this? Why are people exempt from being tolerant and rational just because of their age? It’s as if every generation excuses the previous one for being less enlightened simply because they were born and grew up in a different time. As if after you hit a certain age you are no longer expected to develop as a person and adapt to changes in social mores. I find this rather sad.
Is there really a cut-off point after which people cannot change and grow? Meanwhile, the 80-year-old dyed-in-the-wool bigot only got to be that age while maintaining their prejudices because these were either condoned or left unchallenged.
Is it really ever too late to unlock a closed mind? Or is it just that people would rather turn a blind eye to prejudice in order to avoid an unpleasant confrontation?
casa azahar 
I should probably also say that I’m not talking about people who occasionally use outdated, ‘not-PC’ terminology. Rather those who continue to spout their bigoted opinions and purposely use ugly terms when speaking about other humans they happen to dislike for some pathetic reason or other.
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Sometimes they just use the term because they haven’t really thought about what it actually means, or that it is a stereotypical phrase. Around here, people say “I jewed him down” when they are talking about making a good bargain, and it is just an idiom that they have heard all their lives. It doesn’t even occur to them that it demonstrates a rather ugly prejudice.
I have singlehandedly re-educated many of my clients so they no longer use that phrase, at least not when they are with me. They also talk about things being “thrown together” or “jury-rigged” rather than “n****r-rigged”, a usage that makes me actually take my hands off them when I am doing a massage if I hear it. I explain gently that I do not wish to hear that word spoken in my home, and if they can’t stop using it they can find another massage therapist.
As to whether you can change closed minds to open, your graphic makes a powerful statement. If their mind is closed and locked, it will be very hard to change people. As my mother is fond of saying, “There is none so blind as them as won’t see.”
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In a nutshell – ‘Nobody is ever too old to be educated’.
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Accepting the fact that we are all discriminatory (Me and Mine are more important to me that You and Yours), when people, either old or young, persist in overt and malicious discriminatory practises I simply walk away from them. Cut my ties. I don’t need that sort of aggro from that sort of person. Oops – there may be some discrimination there – against closed minds! But I WILL continue to tell Blonde jokes – cos I am blonde and I’m laughing at myself!
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I think the reason so many people let it pass is that bigots (and they are just that, whether it’s your parents, or whomever) won’t change; frequently they even seem to enjoy making others uncomfortable.
When I run into that kind of stuff, I just isolate myself from it, which is probably a cruel thing to do, since the elderly, at least, already feel alone. I need to keep my composure, and if they (whomever they are) want to see me, they can keep quiet with that ugliness while I’m around.
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I know I’ve also been guilty of not bothering to say anything – though like hmh I would certainly do so if I had to work with someone who was doing this.
I guess I gave up on my parents and certain other family members a long time ago, but I also never made any excuses for them.
You’d think that someone who actually made it to 75-80 years old might have also learned a thing or two along the way.
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