Tighter than tree bark. He is as dumb as a box of rocks. Dumber than a mud fence. These are real hillbilly analogies I have heard. I like the box of rocks best.
I’m as brave as an electric goose in a wheat thresher. He’s as paranoid as million-dollar rodeo clown in a tornado. She’s as disappointed as a holy Christian in a carwash. She’s as fat as sugar-coated penguin in a slaughterhouse. He’s as scared as a down home goose down a coal chute. She’s as weird as a wet muskrat in a drawer full of panties. She was as nervous as a wet biscuit in a house fire. I was as off as a rabid cat on shore leave. She was as oversexed as a foreign giraffe in a toilet. He’s as loose as a prize-winning fox in mother’s apple pie.
Well, it might just be a language thing but these doesn’t mean a thing to me. I suppose they’re aimed to be amusing.
casa azahar 
Tighter than tree bark. He is as dumb as a box of rocks. Dumber than a mud fence. These are real hillbilly analogies I have heard. I like the box of rocks best.
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did it four times before i got one i really liked:
She’s as crazy as deep-fried chipmunk in a bowl of soup.
one of my real favs is “’bout as organized as a box of hair’… or ‘dumber than a bag of hammers’.
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I got “she was as fearful as chicken fried bull speaking spanish”
hey daisyfae, wasn’t that line about dumber than a box of hammers in the song “I Kissed a Girl”?
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“He’s as useful as a constipated mole in a smokestack.”
I like some good old English ones like (and I may have mentioned this before) – I’m not as green as I am cabbage looking.
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I’m as brave as an electric goose in a wheat thresher. He’s as paranoid as million-dollar rodeo clown in a tornado. She’s as disappointed as a holy Christian in a carwash. She’s as fat as sugar-coated penguin in a slaughterhouse. He’s as scared as a down home goose down a coal chute. She’s as weird as a wet muskrat in a drawer full of panties. She was as nervous as a wet biscuit in a house fire. I was as off as a rabid cat on shore leave. She was as oversexed as a foreign giraffe in a toilet. He’s as loose as a prize-winning fox in mother’s apple pie.
Well, it might just be a language thing but these doesn’t mean a thing to me. I suppose they’re aimed to be amusing.
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good catch, nursemyra. it was ‘dumb as a box of hammers’ in the song lyrics. guess i used ‘mixed homespun analogies’?
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This is as silly as a dirty red armadillo with a plate of crackers!
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