Doesn’t even bear thinking about how I’d be getting through this without these three darlings. This pic is from a chilly winter night a couple of years ago when Morcilla, Loki and Luna ALL piled on top me while netflixing (bit warm for that now). Hope you have at least one loved one with you. It helps a lot.
So okay, since lockdown on March 14th I’ve been out of the house twice, both times for supermarket runs and to take out the rubbish (with all the cooking I’ve been doing and the CAT SAND, I can’t leave it longer than that). But each time I’ve felt like I was dodging bullets. Even though my closest supermarket has been taking great care with protecting both its staff and customers I feel extra vulnerable due to, well MY AGE, and also as I’ve mentioned before, the autoimmune shit going on due to previous stage 4 cancer & chemo.
Meanwhile, of course I miss my old life. I miss my work, my friends, being able to make a living. And I really miss my 10,000 step walks along the river and through the city. And then I hear people saying they can’t live without getting outside for their daily run or a bit of fresh air. Well, you know what? Of course you fucking CAN. You just don’t want to.
Maybe it’s my previous experience with having had stage 4 cancer and being twice on chemo, and having 4 major abdominal operations that pretty much robbed me of a year and a half of my life… I learned that when someone tells me to stay home, I fucking stay home. I don’t think, “oh but I want my old life back” and defy the orders, not to mention the odds. Because when you have stage 4 cancer there is no guarantee that you will ever get your old life back again, or any life at all.
There was also the fact that I felt like death warmed over most of the time, so going out wasn’t really that appealing anyhow. But I did ALWAYS wish I could go out again. And then one day I could. In fact the one time I defied the rules and went out too soon after my final operation in 2011… blam! hernia! Nobody to blame but myself.
So while, yeah, I’m going a bit stir crazy and of course I’d love to be outside in the spring sunshine, all of that, I also find myself going into self-protective mode, hunkering down, waiting for this to pass. With the feeling of having been here before, I know what it’s like, and I know I can deal with it. Back then, with the whole cancer thing, I didn’t have hope per se, but I perservered. One day at a time, not knowing what the final outcome would be.
Well guess what? There really was no actual final outcome other than somehow I didn’t die, and somehow I am still here long after I was told I wouldn’t be. So about this coronavirus? Same deal. Except instead of it just happening to me it’s happening to all of us.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve already had the experience of having had my life put on hold, with little or no guarantee that things would get better. This time I’m doing it with all you guys. Stay healthy… and stay home! We can do this. xx
So unless I want to turn into an even bigger of the biggest of blobs (really would hate to put back on those 5 kilos I lost in Dec-Jan!) it seems I need to GET ACTIVE. At home. In my living room. Not easy. To wit, I have come up with a plan to set my iPhone timer for 45 minutes when I am either sitting at my desk or slobbing in my comfy chair.
This means that every 45 minutes I will do a short ACTIVITY. I have read that this activity has to be sustainable, so five minutes or less is ideal. So far I have a short arm routine with those weights you see up there (got it off a Cindy Crawford workout video a million years ago – but it is surprisingly effective). I also have a leg workout, with the help of holding on to a chair (or two). And I am working on a yoga stretch thing.
Other activities could simply be dusting and sweeping a room or two, doing the dishes, maybe doing a couple of times up and down the hallway stairs, or a walk around my rooftop. The important thing is to not just be sitting around all day. Got any other ideas?
The other day I was eating THIS AMAZING SANDWICH when it suddenly became “crunchier” than it should have been. Eep! Not to mentione Ick! Yep, a huge chunk of molar had broken off. Actually, I’d lost a smaller bit of the same molar a couple of weeks ago, off the other side, but as it was small I put off going to the dentist. Maybe a good thing if the other side was also ready to fall out? Or maybe it would have been prevented? Anyhoodle, it was off to the dentist today because the sharp shardy broken edge is ripping the side of my tongue to shreds.
My dentist – AKA the BEST dentist in Sevilla – always chides me for just coming in for emergency service, not for regular checkups. And he’s right. But it’s mostly because, well, dentists are expensive! And really, who wants to go to them anyhow? And frankly, while I’m waiting on results to see if I’m healthy, why spend money on teeth?
Anyhow, back home now with the left side of my face still frozen up to my eyeball. Tongue and lips also still feeling thick and numb. And it cost me 140 euros for two fillings (actually, this is a good price, just bad timing in terms of no work no money). Especially as the fillings were kind of major reconstructions… my guy always tries the cheaper route before saying “YOU NEED A 500€ CROWN”. So now we will see if these fillings stick. Apparently the teeth are pretty much destroyed but we live in hope.
So how’s your Tuesday going?