Gaaaaaaa! I hate incense!
Or to be more accurate, I am incensed about being incensed to distraction, making my eyes water and the vile stink of it making me feel totally nauseous. Perhaps it’s a throwback response from being forced to go to church as a child? Whatever.
The problem is that there is a souvenir shop directly below me (I live on the third floor – fourth floor US/Canada). Last spring they started selling incense burners and put a table outside and suddenly clouds of incense started wafting into my living/diningroom. Okay, it depends on which way the wind is blowing, but some days they may as well be burning that shit on my diningroom table!
So I spoke to the owner of the shop, asking him to please either use less incense or at least not burn it during ‘lunchtime’ (in Spain this is approx 2-4pm) as when I have my balcony doors open it makes it impossible to eat. He basically told me to piss off. So I did – and called the police.
The police came over and I explained that I’d tried being reasonable with the shop owner but, in fact, I didn’t think he had any legal right to place things outside his shop on public property that might annoy the neighbours. And the police actually said I was right and said they would talk to the shop owner. After that the problem subsided.
Until today.
The first really spring-like day of the year – it’s 21ºC and sunny and I opened up all the balcony doors to let in some lovely fresh air . . . and got a noseful of fucking nauseating incense instead! So I’ve had to close the doors and it’s awful feeling so shut in like this. 
(though I do think those little dragon-egg incense burners are rather cute)
casa azahar 
So I went downstairs and asked the guy to stop, and got a lot of shouting and arm-waving in response, so I shrugged and said “ok, llamo la policia”.
And surprise, surprise! The incense is no longer burning, and the balcony doors are flung wide again.
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You’ve got my sympathy. Incense gives headaches *sigh*
Remember from days at boarding school when nutty school mates used to burn incense to hide the smell of pot. Both makes me *yuk* OK. incense ie less brain melting.
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Well, I never get headaches, dq, but the nausea factor is quite serious. And I put up that pic of the dragon burners for you – hope you liked them! 🙂
It was quite good that Nog went down this morning to complain because the shop owner could only bluster and wave his arms about whilst Nog looked at him blankly before saying – ‘ok, I’ll call the police then’. Ha!
Now it’s 6.30pm and both balconies have the doors open and it’s really lovely sitting here and feeling very soft and springlike evening air drifting into the livingroom.
We’ve just got back from a somewhat lateish tapa lunch of fritura and grilled sirloin with mushrooms at Modesto. And it was the first time this year we went out not wearing coats – and me in sandals! Mmmmmm…
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That would also drive me round the twist. Do they not have an environmental health department in the local council in Spain? I had to use mine a few years ago when a neighbour persistantly played loud music. If it continues you might need to get legal advice. I hope the problem is solved though. The weather here is coldish, damp and overcast *depressed*
PS That fritura looks absolutely yummy. I cooked the lentil and chorizo stew today. It’s in the fridge waiting for me to devour it tomorrow. Shall report tomorrow on the soup and stew section about it.
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The fritura is to die for!
And if my experience with the local police last spring is any indication, it seems that if I complain to them again this year the souvenir shop guy will be in serious trouble. But I’d rather not have to.
I mean, it fucking stinks! And there is a tapa bar just across the way – surely people can’t enjoy eating their food whilst inhaling gacky incense fumes!
Looking forward to your report on the lentil stew tomorrow. Nog finished off the last of ours last night.
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ps
whilst munching on fritura and what-have-you this afternoon at Modesto, Nog and I met the Marqués of something-or-other who told me I was lovely and said he would like to invite both of us up to his country home in the mountains. So we swapped phone numbers. Weird, eh?
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Crikey sounds like the beginning of an interesting film…..
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Yeah, especially as he said he’d always heard that English husbands weren’t the jealous types! 😉
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Aristocrats are OK, I suppose, but I only ever seem to see movies about the decadent ones who turn out to be vampires or axe-murderers or real estate agents or something equally unpleasant. In reality I expect they’re quite normal.
As for incense – there’s a time and a place for that stuff, and a limit on the amount that should be used. How much was this bloke burning at once?
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I like incense, but you shouldn’t have to live with anybody else’s. If it’s wafting up to your balcony, presumably a tumberful of water could waft its way down just as easily?
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Well, I am guilty of burning incense at times. But only in my own home. The thing is, I do not like the commercial sticks of incense that I am assuming you are complaining about. They make me nauseous and give me headaches.
The culprit (usually) is the adhesive that they have to use to make the “incense” part stay attached to the “stick” part. Also, quite frequently, if they are selling the little cones, those also have adhesive in them to make them stay in a cone shape. And in addition, if the incense is cheap enough, it is loaded with artifical scents rather than the actual substance that “ought” to be providing the scent. (This is much cheaper: artificial jasmine is much cheaper than jasmine oil)
So, how to I burn incense and enjoy it without all the accompanying sick/headache feeling? I buy tiny blocks of charcoal that are designed for burning actual incense substances. They are usually round, with a little dish shape in the middle that keeps whatever you are burning collected on the block. they are fairly exciting to light, because the are powdered charcoal that is mixed with gunpowder and then pressed into shape. The gunpowder burns with little sparks and after it has all ignited, the charcoal is glowing. Once my block is glowing, I put a lump of actual frankincense on it. Or some sage leaves. Or I carve some sandalwood off the block of wood that J brought me from overseas. Voila, a subtle smoke unadulterated with adhesives and artificial components. No headache.
All that said, I would still NEVER fill air that was not mine with a smell that someone might find offensive without at least asking the neighbors if it was okay. Well, almost never. Sometimes there are bodily emissions that are not totally controllable!
Hope the problem does not arise any more!
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Oh no – not a real estate agent!!! Perhaps that’s why he wants to lure us out to his house in the mountains – to sell us a timeshare??!
Re: the type of incense being burned. I’m assuming it’s the same type the street vendors sell here with the traditional burners (similar to the dragon ones – here they are usually in the shape of the old pottery kiln chimneys at the Cartuja Monastery).
The incense is sold loose in plastic bags – not sure what makes it burn. The different varieties are the same as the different churches use here (they all have their own ‘special blend’ apparently).
Basically you can spoon in as much incense as you want. The guy downstairs must put in tons as there is usually quite a lot of smoke billowing out of the burners. Totally gack-making!
An aside … here is a cute photo of our friend Karl (aka blickybadger) climbing out of one of the old kilns. 🙂
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*drool*
Wouldn’t mind some of that fritura myself.
Here you can only get the frozen ones, and they’re never as tasty when you’ve baked them in the oven.
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Sounds like it would be a bit like oven-baked frozen chips. Nah, it’s gotta be fried fresh just moments before you eat it. Yesterday’s was particularly delicious – very crispy and ‘dry’… not greasy in the slightest.
“presumably a tumberful of water could waft its way down just as easily?”
I’m a bit high up for accuracy with a tumblerful of water, RC – but a high-pressure hose would probably be very satisfying.
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If it happens again…try watering them.
Europe’s most polluted stretch of road is ‘The Hielieman’s Umbrella’ in Glasgow, a short stretch under a bridge behind Central Station. It’s on several bus routes, where antiquated double-deckers spew out diesel. Then there’s the chip shop and oher fast food joints that vent their greasy fumes there. Yet every Christmas a vendor can be found burning scented candles.
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Oh, don’t get me started on scented candles. They are much worse than incense, and the bad thing is you don’t even have to burn them to get the full “benefit” of the stink. There are stores into which I cannot even walk because of the reek of the scented candles they have for sale.
Maybe a cup of water would not be very accurate, but I bet a water balloon would be. And a little more subtle than the high pressure hose. Just a teensy bit more subtle. Okay. Not subtle at all.
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Many moons ago I used to work in a stationery shop that also sold scented candles and I finally had to quit because, even though they never lit the fuckers, just walking into the place made me gag.
Water balloons, eh? Might be a good use for those old condoms I don’t need anymore …
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… or use them as moulds for plaster figurines.
Some thirty years ago I worked as substitute teacher at an after school recreation centre. The kids just loved that use of condoms, you could make just about any kind of figurine you wanted since condoms are both elastic and strong.
Of course there was a lot of giggling in the beginning. Not even in those days ten year olds were innocent little angels..
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There’s a store that sells scented candles in the mall I go to, to pay my utility bills. It’s become impossible for me to walk past there, I have to walk on the opposite side to get away from it.
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Seems to me those candles should last a lifetime as you don’t actually need to burn them to stink the place up.
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Gaaaaa!!! About an hour ago, just after Nog & I had finished brunch and Sunny was happily sunning himself on the balcony, there it was again. Okay, it’s been there off and on for the past week, but unless it was actually wafting into my apartment I don’t say anything.
Anyhow, this time I went down (Nog was still in his pj’s and dressing gown) and the guy went totally postal. This is the good thing about Nog going down – he pretends he doesn’t understand what’s being said to him and just says, “Vale, llamo la policia”.
But I got a whole earful of how ‘intransigente’ I was (well, makes a change from ‘judgemental’ and ‘arrogant’) and how this little bit of smoke couldn’t possibly bother me, and how I was the only neighbour that it bothered . . .
I cut him off there and said I was the only neighbour he knew of it bothering and reminded him that last time I called the police they told him that I was in the right and he was in the wrong. And I finished off by saying I had no problem calling the police again if he didn’t stop with the smoke.
All this time he was waving his arms about, yelling at me in a very loud voice, attracting the attention of passersby … and after I got back upstairs I heard him still ranting on to whoever would listen.
Well, tough shit. Though I’m hoping I won’t have to call the police again simply because I might not get such a sympathetic pair next time. But clearly the shopowner was told to cease and desist, which is why he is being so hysterical and not just rudely telling me to piss off like he did the first time I complained.
I don’t know about you, but I find any sort of confrontation upsetting, even when I know I’m in the right. And I wouldn’t be complaining about the incense if it was just slightly bothersome. But it actually makes me feel sick to my stomach and I don’t think I should have to live with that.
Next week I’m going to talk to one of my students who is a lawyer (speciality – the rental of business premises) and ask him exactly where I stand legally. I have no interest in repeating today’s confrontation so that a pig-headed loud-mouthed shop keeper with eyebrow dandruff and clotted nosehairs reaching down into his greasy mustache can attempt to publicly ridicule me. 😡
The good news is that he did put out the incense burner.
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Maybe you could convince him to put the burner inside his store. I mean, if you can smell it on the 3rd floor, his potential customers should be able to smell it wafting out from *inside* his shop!
Next time, just wait until right before you up-chuck from the stink, *then* go down to talk to him…
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Well, I did speak to my student (Paco) who is a lawyer and he told me the shopkeeper guy doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on. So this afternoon I’m going to call and put in an official complaint with the local police.
Paco says it’s about 99.9% sure that he doesn’t have a permit to have that table outside his shop, so to also be burning incense and annoying people is not about to be condoned by the authorities.
Anyhow, wish me luck.
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