
An oldie but a goodie . . . 🙂
- Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
- And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Avoid cliches like the plague (they’re old hat).
- Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
- Be more or less specific.
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
- Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
- No sentence fragments.
- Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
- Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
- One should NEVER generalize.
- Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
- Don’t use no double negatives.
- Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
- One-word sentences? Eliminate.
- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
- The passive voice is to be ignored.
- Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
- Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
- Kill all exclamation points!!!
- Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
- Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
- Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
- Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
- If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
- Puns are for children, not groan readers.
- Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
- Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
- Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Can you think of any more?
Number 29 is dedicated to Archie & FFE and the pic is for alejna.
Love it! And so much applies to me – – –
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This was brilliant! Absolutely beautiful. I love it. And not just for the pants. (Though thanks for that!)
Do you have anything about “unnecessary” quotation marks? Or maybe something about ellipses…
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crikey… proof that i’ll never be a writer. guess that’s why i chose blogging instead!
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I think the most common mistake you find in blogs is the switching of it’s and its and loose and lose.
Easy way to remember: if you want to write it’s, read the sentence aloud as “it is.” If it sounds like crap, it is, so use its.
Lose the extra o in loose if you want to lose.
I totally disagree about puns! Lowest form of humour, highest form of twit.
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azahar, I hadn’t seen this before, it’s great. (I was going to puit an exclamation mark but realised….) oops, no parentheses allowed either)
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Crap. I should just give up writing.
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OMG so many rules ……………..I quit!!
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1. Use words correctly.
2. Use punctuation correctly.
3. Be economical.
Is that better?
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I bet Shakespeare broke every single one of those rules though… that’s the thing about good writing 🙂
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You’re just jealous 😀
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Pingback: How to Write Good - Part II « Archies Archive
Yeah well . . . so??? 😛
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A guy hears about a pun contest and quickly sent in ten entries. After a few days, he enquired about the winner and was disappointed to find no pun in ten did.
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Gaaaaaaa!!!
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You were saying?
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Can I tell the Helen Keller joke here? Oh what the hell – it’s my blog.
What was Helen Keller’s favourite colour?
Corduroy.
*runs for cover*
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Aw hell, I can’t hold back . . . .
How did HK burn her fingertips? Reading the waffle iron.
How did HK scald her head? Bobbing for chips.
How did HK burn her face? Answering the flatiron.
Why were HK’s socks yellow? Her dog was blind too.
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Ha! You’ll find a couple more goodun’s here at Uncle Keith’s…
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Pingback: How to Write Good - Part III « Archies Archive