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missing you

I’m really getting tired of people complaining about how they can’t do this or that anymore, or how they now HAVE to do this or that, like it’s some sort of fucking hardship. Because what they are mostly going on about are minor inconveniences that only privileged people get to complain about, like not being able to go on holiday in the same comfort they are accustomed to or (OMG) having to wear a mask in public.

So I’m not here to complain. But man, I do miss so many things. In fact, I miss almost everything about life pre-Covid. Especially that bit about being able to walk outside without fearing for my life. But mostly I miss people. Which means I really miss my job, because it was all about meeting new people, showing them an amazing time having tapas and walking around my beautiful Sevilla, leaving totally destroyed tables like that one above. It was always a good time. And they even paid me to do it! Oh yeah, also miss having an income.

Meanwhile the only human contact touch-wise since March 11th (after a big hug from Victor in Málaga) has been during two medical appointments. Not exactly affectionate. Yet if I were to meet any of my very huggable friends tomorrow I wouldn’t dare. And so yeah, I miss that too. Big time.

But I’m not complaining. And here’s why. Because over the past three months countless people have died, others have lost loved ones, have lost their jobs, their homes, it’s truly a global tragedy beyond our comprehension. I mean, it must be right, otherwise the fucking Karens and Brads wouldn’t be bleating on about their late online deliveries or not being able to take hand luggage on their holiday flight. Right?? Because otherwise that just makes them the most selfish and despicable pieces of shit I hope to never meet.

I mean I do understand people wanting their old lives back, wanting things to go back to how they used to be, because I think that would be lovely too. But I also know that IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN. Surely I cannot be the only person who has realised this and, albeit begrudgingly, has accepted this difficult fact and has moved on to … okay then, now what?? What do we do next? What can we do? To me this is the next logical step.

For me the next steps are just to get through each day as well as I can, and try to think about regrouping and working again… maybe in January? Or maybe I’ll have to reinvent myself once again at the ripe old age of 63 1/2… well, I’ve done it before, many times, but I was younger then and didn’t have dodgy knees. But whatever it takes, you know? Thing is, it’s going to take something that many people may not be prepared for, something called personal sacrifice and empathy. Because nothing is going to be the same ever again, and while I think that in some ways this may not be such a bad thing it sure isn’t going to be easy. Now is the time to realise that we are all in this together. So…

PUT YOUR FUCKING MASK ON.