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This is tough. Yes, lockdown was lifted here on June 22nd, and non-essential shops, along with bars and restaurants, were allowed to slowly reopen. And so far that seems to be going well. People are mostly following the rules.
But then Spain immediately opened its borders not just to EU Schengen countries but also to the UK, which was basically WAY BEHIND in their Covid response, and even now have yet to call for a the mandatory use of masks.
After lockdown was lifted here nothing much changed for me. I stayed home, waiting to see what was going to happen. Would there be a second wave of infections two weeks later? How safe was it really? For those who don’t know I am in a high risk situation due to being immunocompromised due to previous cancer and chemo treatments, and also because of my age. So not only am I more likely to catch this fucker, I am also more likely to die from it. A sobering thought.
But I have been out for tapas now… maybe 3-4 times? And also for the occasional cold beer when I’ve been out grocery shopping on my own. Have also had a couple of business meetings and a trip to the hospital. Though I mostly keep myself to a schedule whereby I only go OUT THERE about once a week, and maybe meet up with a friend every other outing. Which leads me to…
No, this is not another rant. More a plea for understanding. I know it may seem to some that I am being overly-whatever when it comes to my decision to stay home and not be out where there are a lot of people (though have to say since mandatory mask-wearing was introduced I feel much safer). BUT… and this is a big but… nobody actually knows what will happen during this initial post-lockdown period and we’ve already seen new outbreaks throughout Spain, especially in Catalunya. But this week new outbreaks were also reported in Sevilla and other locations in Andalucía.
Which brings me to what I actually want to talk about. Which is that I wish people would respect my (very difficult) decision to continue self-isolating as much as I can. A couple of times I’ve been out and came home angry at myself for not just leaving when it didn’t feel safe. Or for not speaking up. After which I passed several uneasy days waiting to see if any symptoms showed up. And well, so far so good, but it sure fucks up getting any sleep. I haven’t slept more than 3-4 hours a night in months.
The other day a friend I was hoping to see next week told me that she had recently met up with someone who’d just flown in from Barcelona, so that I could decide if that felt too high-risk for me. And bless her for that, I really appreciated her honesty. But other people aren’t so forthcoming. Not because they wish me harm, but I think just because they have decided to take risks and so don’t see them as risky for anyone else. But you see, that’s not their decision to make. It just isn’t.
The thing is that my choice mostly just affects me. To the extent that I’m really so lonely a lot of the time now and yet can’t even let someone hug me when I see them. I see some of my other friends out there on Instagram having parties at home, going out for dinners, being out on the beach… in groups of friends all close up and personal, lots of hugs going on, no masks (because eating and drinking). And I know I just can’t do that. At least not yet. It also means that I can’t meet up with any of the friends who have been in any of those fun situations, because… I just can’t take that risk.
So what I would like to put out here is to ask you all to at least respect my decision, even if you don’t totally agree with or understand it. Please be like my friend who told me about meeting her Barcelona pal, so that I can make my own decision. Not, for example, find out about the Barcelona friend half-way through our meal, when it’s already too late, you know what I’m saying? Or even worse, to not even be told.
So this has been a tough week. Also found out I am not eligible for the extension (July-Sept) on the government assistance for self-employed people, and so that’s me fucked. I now have to sign off Social Security or I’ll be charged 300€ a month when I won’t have any income for … who knows how long? Autumn? Winter? Next year?
I know I’m not the only one, and so many people are going through worse hardships, but this is just me venting a bit on my personal blog. Just letting you know where I’m at.
How are you doing??
casa azahar 
👍
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It must be very hard for you. I’m kinda the opposite, I only like to “people” in small quantities and I get that through work (2 days a week in the office for now), family (my bubble with my brother & family) and video calling/phone calling/texting with friends.
I’m due to come to Spain in eight weeks time. This is the trip I should have made in April but the airline offered a deferment. If it was just a holiday it would be cancelled by now, whether or not I lost the money I paid for my flights, but the sole purpose of the visit is to see my mum so I’m finding it hard to justify NOT going. She’s 70 this year and although she’s still fit & well, you just don’t know and I don’t want to not see her if I can. But I’ve told her they need to think long and hard about having someone from the UK in their two-bed caravan for 2 weeks, and pointed out I won’t be upset or offended if they decide it’s too risky. To be honest if the Spanish or English government gave me a definite “don’t go” I wouldn’t be disappointed.
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Oh man, if I could “bubble” with people once or twice a week that would be amazing. I also don’t need much more than that.
Last night the UK issued a two week quarantine thing for everyone returning from Spain. Of course they are not going to enforce this in any way, no track and trace, no testing, NO NOTHING.
And of course now the Brits are all up in arms about losing their holidays.
I maintain that WHO THE FUCK GOES ON HOLIDAY DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC???
Yeah, you need to think about visiting your mum. Will you be tested before leaving, and as well after arriving here? You could arrange to do this, but it might be costly. If not, don’t do it. Imagine going to see your mother and then she gets infected? So many carriers are asymptomatic.Big risk.
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Really good.point. I’ll know there are private testing places fairly local, I’ll definitely check that out of I absolutely have to go.
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We had a small family bubble get together yesterday (5 people including Bob and me) and it was nice but still sort of unsatisfying because we didn’t get close and we didn’t hug. The other three people are VERY careful and I believe them.
I miss hugging a few people. Mostly I don’t care if I never go to another party but… I am human and still need SOME contact no matter how introverted I am at the moment.
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If you start being careful then it becomes painfully obvious that short of locking yourself up you will never be totally “safe”.
I have taken a risk each time I’ve eaten out, twice with the same person, once with someone else, once on my own. I felt mostly at ease because the staff were all wearing masks and I could see how well they were doing with hygeine, etc. I felt less at ease with the friend who kept leaning across the table while talking or would LAUGH OUT LOUD IN MY FACE (finally had to ask her to please turn her head when laughing, just like when coughing).
I still think we are not being honestlyl informed about this virus. But so far the safe measures being carried out with reopenings in Spain seem to be working. Most of the latest outbreaks here have been due to things like private parties where the guests take off their masks and get way too close.
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