Testing … testing …

So there is this bloggers interviewing each other tag thing going around. The most recent one I read was Aphra Behn interviewing Teuchter, and I thought I’d give it a go by asking Teuchter to interview me. This is a volunteer ‘tag yourself’ thing, so if you would like to be interviewed then just follow the instructions at the bottom of the post.

Warning! Some very long and self-indulgent answers follow. Read on at your own risk…

1. You’ve lived in Spain for some years now. What are the best and the worst things about living somewhere different to where you were brought up – and specifically, what are the best and worst things about living in Spain?

This probably first needs a reason (as much as I can give) for having left in the first place. The thing is, I never really felt ‘at home’ living in Canada but could never put my finger on why. After I turned 30 this feeling increased and I started to consider living someplace else – but where? At this time I had rather bravely/foolishly (take your pick) walked away from a rather good job as production manager for one of Toronto’s leading clothing designers. For years I’d been working in ‘the biz’ and was feeling quite disillusioned by it all and the decision to walk away came after spending a year or so working for this total bitch-on-wheels and feeling I’d just had enough.

So … being somewhat in dire straits I took my first ever waitressing job at a fabulous Peruvian restaurant that was owned by my friend’s sister. Almost all the waiting staff were ‘trendy Torontonians’, while most of the kitchen and bar staff were from various Central and South American countries and also Spain, many of whom didn’t speak a lot of English. It was my first experience of hearing the Spanish language and there was something about it that resonated somewhere inside me. I was also charmed by how the kitchen staff would hug me when I came in to work and soon I felt much closer to them than with the other waiters. There was a distinct feeling that I had much more in common with the ‘Latin mentality’ and way of life.

To cut things shortish, I ended up thinking that I would be happier living someplace where people shared these same values. But moving to South America somehow didn’t appeal to me, so I decided I would move to Spain and try my luck there. At this time I met a young English man who was travelling and had got a job at the restaurant. We ended up having quite a passionate summer romance which – somehow – ended up with me moving to Bristol to live with him a few months later. Kind of a ‘detour’ as I think we both knew the relationship would have a ‘limited run’ but I suddenly found myself living in England at age 33. I stayed there for just over a year and a half, during which time I took a TEFL course that would – supposedly – help me find work in Spain teaching English. So when J and I finally split up I ended up driving down to Spain with a friend who wanted to try out living abroad for awhile. This was in 1992.

And now to (finally) answer the question. I really cannot explain why, but the moment we crossed the French/Spanish border I had this very strong feeling that I was home, even though I’d never been to Spain in my life. And that feeling has never left me.

So that is the best thing about living here – that I feel like I’ve found my true home in the world. Though it took some doing. As for the worst things … very hard to think of any to be honest. I mean, sure I’ve had some tough times finding work and being totally skint and up to my eyeballs in debt. But it was always worth it somehow, because I guess being here just meant/means so much to me. Definitely worth fighting for!

2. You’ve lived independently since your mid-teens. With the benefit of hindsight, what advice would you give that fifteen year old self?

An interesting question. Yes, I left home when I was 15 because I just had to get away from a very unhappy place. When I talk to some of my 15-year-old students here they seem like such babes, you know? But of course it was very different back then in Canada. Most people I knew then were on their own and not much older than me, though I was definitely the youngest of our crowd.

I guess what I would say to that 15-year-old self is that she should believe in herself more and do the things she really wants to do, rather than just ‘follow the crowd’ and live as an outsider. On the outside looking in. You see, all my friends back then were very talented artists, musicians, etc. I was part of this crowd without ever becoming my own self, if that makes any sense. I was very much a chameleon back then, becoming whatever I thought people wanted me to be. Rather a thankless way to live, looking back, but back then it was mostly about survival, you know?

3. Having attained your half century, do you have any major regrets in the life you’ve lived so far? And to look at the other side of that question – is there anything of which you are particularly proud?

I’ve sometimes wondered how my life would have turned out if I’d moved to New York when I was 18, as I was seriously planning to do. Then I met some guy and got involved with him … blah blah blah. It’s not a regret as such, just something I used to wonder about.

I’m actually quite proud that I made it here – to Seville – and have built a life for myself. As I said earlier, it took some doing! Well, the first place I lived in Spain was Salamanca (for about a year) but it was just too small and I had too many bad memories there because of the abortion. So a fresh start was needed. But I’ll tell ya, after making that last ‘leap into the unknown’ at age 36 – coming here to Sevilla on a wing and a prayer – I was quite worn out. Not sure I could do such a thing again. At least not without loads o’ cash to back me up.

4. If someone gave you £500,000 what would you do with it?

First thing – I’d take a proper holiday. Like, more than just 3-4 days away somewhere. The kind where it doesn’t matter how much you are spending. Maybe a tour of the Greek islands? After that I’d hire an amazing teacher so I could learn Spanish properly (a luxury I’ve never been able to afford). Then I’d start up a business. Not sure what as my clothing biz has kind of fizzled … though I don’t know if that was because it was a crap idea, bad designs, or just because it was done on such a shoe-string budget that we couldn’t afford professional photos or any serious marketing. But I’d certainly like to set up something I’d be happy working at. I can’t imagine ever not wanting to work.

The other day I read an article in the BBC news about some woman in the US who suddenly came into some money and gave her favourite pizza restaurant waitress a $10,000 tip so that she could fulfill her dream of going to university. I’d like to do something like that too. Give someone else a chance, you know?

5. What’s at the top of your Important Things To Do List?

At the moment health issues seem very important. I’ve put on a lot of weight over the past few years and I know this isn’t good for me – either health-wise or self-esteem-wise. So I’ve started on regular exercise and all that jazz. I know I probably won’t ever get back the body I had even 8 years ago (it was after my op then – the hysterectomy – that the weight started creeping up on me) but I just want to feel fit and healthy again. I think that once that starts happening then other things will also start falling into place in a healthy way, since times have been a bit tough lately.

Thank you for your questions, Teuchter. Made me think a bit. Also helped me to remember a few things I haven’t thought about in awhile.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR BEING INTERVIEWED

1. Leave a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. Please make sure I have your email address.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment, asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.