… diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, sores in mouth and throat, abdominal pain, reaction in feet and hands (tingling, swelling, redness, pain), dehydration, fatigue, loss of appetite.
I reckon I’ve got about half of those. I also can’t eat, drink or touch anything cold and my mouth tastes of metal all the time. Everything about this treatment just feels so wrong.
So, as I mentioned here, for the past two days I’ve been feeling quite sick and have been mostly in bed, as sitting up for more than half an hour is way too exhausting. I’m not sleeping so much as dozing off and on. It’s a strange and lonely existence but I’m rereading the Sam Vimes books, which make me smile in spite of everything else. It just feels weird to be so ‘floppy’. The cats are quite enjoying having me around 24/7 though and flop next to me on the bed while I read and doze.
I hope Sara is right and I start feeling better by the end of the week . . .
casa azahar 
Hang on in there. Of course I’m right. Or rather, I’m never wrong. Ask my husband 😉
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Sam Vimes is a cure for almost everything 🙂
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Those side effects sound nasty. Here’s hoping you feel better soon. I’m still thinking of you lots.
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Thinking about you a lot, az.
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Thinking of you, too, az. Hope those cats are keeping you well comforted. xx
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:hugs:
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A random good thought winging it’s way to you. It should get better.
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This is so different from when I was recovering from the surgery. At least I could tell that I was getting a bit better every day, that there was always something I could do that I couldn’t do the day before. And everybody – doctors and nurses included – commented on how quickly I got stronger and better.
But THIS! It feels like I’m being poisoned and I can’t see that it’s actually worth just a 5% difference in the recurrence odds.
Anyhow, Nog has asked me to keep on with this treatment at least until he gets back and I told him I’d try…
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I remember lying in bed crying and accusing the oncologists of trying to kill me cos I was convinced I wouldn’t make it through the day! Drama Queen tendencies? me? Never!
Don’t make any hasty decisions while you’re feeling shitty. Let this wear off and then assess the situation, is my advice.
You’re doing great, btw.
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If the chemo’s making you feel this bad, think what it’s doing to those uninvited guests in your liver.
Ach – but you know this already.
Things are feeling really awful for you just now – scared, lonely and hitting a physical nadir. Hang onto what Sara’s been telling you. She speaks from a unique position and is one of the few people who really knows what you’re experiencing.
Remembering what you posted previously –
– that after liver surgery there will be a 50% chance of the cancer returning and with chemotherapy this will be reduced to 45%
Let’s turn this round the other way –
– there will be a 55% chance that it won’t return
I think I can probably speak for the rest of us in saying that we hope you will keep on with the chemo since it does push the odds in your favour.
Easy to say when it’s not us that have to deal with its effects, of course.
Roll on the end of the week!
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It’s no fun being a Drama Queen without an audience, Sara. 😉
Don’t worry, I’ve promised Nog that I was going to hang on till he gets back, so now I have to.
Always looking on the bright side, eh Teuchter? Of course you’re right, and so was Spacecadette when she said the other day that statistics aren’t written in stone. I think that’s starting to finally sink in now, but for the first few days it left me very emotionally askew.
Really looking forward to not feeling queasy and being able to go outside again … maybe mañana?
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I’d send you a pic of me, but that would make th enausea far worse ;D
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Buy yourself that DVD player. During the two days after chemo I wasn’t able to concentrate on any book more complex than Dick and Jane, and they bore the hell out of me. I watched a shockingly large amount of tv and read trashy magazines.
Hang in there and don’t set your timetable standards high. It takes as long as it takes.
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God bless you, az.
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I’ve seen your photo FFE – not nausea-making at all. In fact, you look just like Malcolm X!
The DVD player I was thinking about was one of those mini ones, Rain, to take to the hospital with me (with earphones). I’m thinking that with at least eight more 3-hour chemo sessions and another hospital stay it would be worth the 100€ investment. Plus I could watch stuff in bed when I’m not able to sit up in my comfy chair.
I’m also watching loads of TV and DVDs at home, as well as reading a lot. And yeah, not pushing myself. It’s clear that there is no way I’ll be able to work before the operation, and in any case, all of my students will be away in August. So I’m just taking it as it comes and trying to learn from these first few weeks.
Cheers, CJ. 🙂
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Keeping the bed warm for the kitties and reading Sam Vimes can’t be all bad…;-)
You’re very brave, Az, and your strength of spirit is and inspiration. Lots of hugs from me to you.
xoxo
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Not so brave, toby, as I spent almost a whole week crying. But I’m feeling better and stronger now (for now). Thanks for the hugs.
Question for Sara and Rain. Did either of you get the thing of not being able to eat, drink or touch cold things? If so, does it wear off during the three-week cycle? Sara, I remember you drinking cold beer and sangria when you were here in October, but that was during your third week. Or maybe you just didn’t get that side effect. I’m finding that one quite freaky.
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By all means, get the DVD! Anything to distract you from the hard parts, when you need it.
Do, please, hang in and give it your best shot, and not just for Nog! I know it’s easy to say from where I’m sitting, when I don’t *know* how it is, but you’ve got a lot of friends out here in VL. That’s gotta be worth something, at a time like this.
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When I was recovering from the colon surgery in hospital Pipocas lent me her mini DVD player and it really saved my sanity, SC (at least somewhat drowning out my roommate’s blaring soap operas on the television). There are times when music just isn’t distracting enough and reading takes too much concentration – being able to ‘switch off’ and watch a film at these times is perfect.
I think it would really help me get through the upcoming 3-hour chemo sessions and my next hospital stay, but I need to get the August rent together before I can think about buying anything extra.
Oh, and the ‘metal mouth’ thing seems to be subsiding now that I’m into the second week. But I’m still loathe to try drinking anything cold – did that inadvertently last week and it nearly blew my head off.
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Watching movies during chemo is a great idea. About the DVD player, can your laptop play DVDs? I know mine can play them quite well, and the screen is bigger than most portable players.
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I think we need to get a DVD ring going for you. I haven’t got a working DVD burner at the moment, but give me a month and I might.
In the hospital I only read celebrity magazines. I was so out of it that, by the time I finished I’d just start again.
“OMG, Angelina is pregnant! I could have sworn she was just pregnant a little while ago!”
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My laptop is a bit big to lug around, alejna. But it’s possible I could borrow Pipocas’s mini DVD player for the chemo sessions and then use Nog’s laptop for the hospital stay. As long as I can find a place to plug them in.
A DVD ring sounds fabulous, Rain, but there would be region issues to consider for people living outside the EU. Apparently you can download films and tv series quite cheaply on iTunes but I’ve never been able to figure out how it works.
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