Category Archives: hospitals

the jag

21 Thursday Jun 2018

Posted by in hope, hospitals, spain

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So this morning was THE BIG DAY. After several months of tests, including the original PET scan, then a colonoscopy, endoscopy, blood tests, a CT scan with another follow-up CT last week… I was finally going to get my results. To hopefully tell me what is going on with the mysterious “area of inflammation” they found during my last PET scan in February.

I won’t lie. I’ve been a bit of a mess about this since they started “investigating” this inflammation. I do my best to live in denial and just carry on with my life, but when it comes to stuff like booking a tapas tour a few months in advance, I am left wondering if I’ll actually be able to do it. Likewise with my summer plans. I’ve been putting everything on hold until I got the “go ahead”. Which was supposed to be today.

Except it wasn’t. I got to the hospital and after more than an hour in the hot and crowded waiting room, I was shown into the oncologist’s office… only to be told the CT scan results hadn’t been processed yet. WTF? My oncologist looked surprised and said – “oh, didn’t they call you yesterday?”. Well of course they hadn’t fucking called me yesterday, otherwise I wouldn’t have been there. Also, I wouldn’t have lost most of this week in a state of suspended emotion, not daring to feel or hope… JUST IN CASE. And so I sat there not believing this was happening. Then the doctor pulled a date out of the air – July 5th – to meet again, saying that FOR SURE the results will have been processed by then. Well, what choice do I have?

I walked out of the hospital feeling a whole whack of mixed emotions. In some ways I was relieved because “no news is good news”. Well, maybe. But I was also annoyed at having lost my entire morning, not just the 3 hours getting to and from the hospital, and waiting there, but really the whole day up until then. BUT… what saved the entire experience from total disaster was… my taxi! I always taxi to the hospital and then usually walk back, mostly because I am so stressed before going that a taxi is a comfortable and easy way of getting there.

Anyhow check it out. I got into the taxi, not paying much attention. Then I noticed the big JAGUAR logo on the dashboard screen. And so I stupidly said to the driver – THIS IS A JAGUAR??? Then I went all fan girl, saying how Jags were my favourite cars and that I couldn’t believe that I was in a Jaguar taxi. The driver informed me that not only was this was the only Jaguar taxi in Sevilla, it was the only one in Spain. WOW. I told him that I was going to the hospital for test results and that I took this as a positive sign, and also that it was so cool that I’d be arriving there in style. And bless him, he said he was sure this meant everything was going to be okay. Then he showed me a photo of his friend’s taxi – the only Maserati taxi in Spain. I’m telling you, this totally MADE MY DAY. Being driven to the hospital in a Jaguar XF.

Meanwhile, I now have two more weeks of hellish anxiety until the next oncology appointment. I wish I would have asked my driver for his card so I could always call him up when I have to go to the hospital…

my first endoscope

01 Thursday Mar 2018

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, hospitals, sevilla

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The endoscope examination is pretty much like the one at the other end, except without the horrendous massive “clean out” prep. For this one all I had to do was not eat or drink for 8 hours before the test. I actually had my last meal more than 12 hours before, but going 8 hours without any water (!!!) was really hard. I’m a 2-litre a day water drinking fiend.

Just like with the colonoscopy I was sedated before the procedure but this time I wasn’t so lucky with my nurse, who could NOT seem to find a vein anywhere. And hand pokes are way more hurty than arm pokes, but anyhow. I was eventually chemically relaxed enough and they did their stuff. It was uncomfortable more than painful, and I got a bit gaggy towards the end, but nothing too awful. And then I was wheeled into the recovery area.

And the best thing of all was that they told me they hadn’t found anything, that I was “all clear”! I have to say that I love this about the Digestivo department, giving patients their results straight away so they don’t have to wonder and worry until they see their doctors again (my next onc appt is March 19th). Though I suspect they only hand out the good news results. But hey, I am happy.

From what I understand, this now means that they have ruled out two of the main possibilities for recurrence – for now. Next up will be another CAT scan three months from now to compare those results to the last one. The main issue being ALL THAT INFLAMMATION that nobody can explain. And so… good, right? At least until I hear otherwise. And so, back to living in denial.  😉

still in limbo…

26 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hospitals, sevilla

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I’ll write something more about my fab weekend away later. As usual, it was great to come home and be welcomed by los gatos (this big lug was especially happy to have his comfy warm human lap back). Though I didn’t sleep so well because today I had my oncology appointment to get the results for the colonoscopy and CAT scan. Bottom line is that I am still in limbo for now.

The colonoscopy results were good, which I already knew because at the time I asked them if they had taken samples to be tested, and they said no because they hadn’t found anything. Phew!

But I had to wait until today for the CAT scan results. In a word, they were inconclusive. There is still that pesky area of inflammation sitting over my stomach that is obscuring any clear scan results, either the PET or CAT. The reason I am getting all these extra tests now is because the last PET scan results showed that the inflammation had grown substantially since the previous one, and I was also in a lot of pain. Though shortly after the last PET the pain suddenly disappeared.

And so, because they don’t actually know what is going on in that murky area of inflammation, I now have to have an endoscopy so they can look inside my stomach. That will happen on Thursday. AND THEN… I have to go through the hell of waiting for results until my next oncology appointment on March 19th.

I like my new oncologist. She is very clear and sympathetic, and answers all my questions. Today she said that because of this “murky area” they simply cannot say with certainty that I am in the clear. And so even if the endoscopy comes back clean, they will still want to do a follow-up CAT scan in three months. She said the only way to be 100% sure that I have no cancer is to operate, which she thinks is too aggressive an approach at this time, especially as the pain has disappeared.

After having undergone four major abdominal operations, the main suspect at the moment is post-op adhesions, when the buildup of fibrous bands of scar tissue wreaks havoc on the surrounding organs. This very same buildup often shows up as inflammation on scans, and can obscure scan results.

So here I am once again in limbo. Of course I am relieved that I wasn’t told today that they’d found cancer and then passed on a death sentence… but I am not out of the woods yet. Because although my doctor told me today it was a positive sign the pain had gone, they wouldn’t be doing these extra tests fer nuthin. So today felt like a “stay of execution”, and now I am waiting (with fingers crossed) for a full pardon. xx

tic tac

13 Tuesday Feb 2018

Posted by in health & happiness, home, hospitals

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Compared to a PET scan a CAT scan (or in Spanish a TAC) is a piece of cake. The prep is basically the same, just don’t eat from the evening before. Though in this case they asked me to drink a litre of water an hour before the CAT, but that is WAY EASIER than prepping for a Colonscopy. The main difference is that a PET takes about half an hour inside the machine WITHOUT MOVING (and of course when they tell you NOT TO MOVE you suddenly get a leg cramp or a nose itch). The CAT is mere moments in the machine, so easier, though both scans require that a substance be injected prior to the test.

As always, the main issue I have with these various injections is lucking out with a nurse who can FIND A VEIN. It ain’t easy. Apparently I have very fine veins which are difficult to locate and, to make matters worse, they also “roll” when the needle is stuck in, making it very hard to hit the target. Often they go for the easier option – THE HAND – because you can at least see a couple of veins there. But my right hand was still bruised and swollen from the colonoscopy nurse, who used it to inject a sedative last week, and the left hand wasn’t giving any clues as to where my veins might be. Eventually my very kind nurse today found a vein in my left arm to inject the contrast stuff… after that the scan itself only took five minutes. The nurse also wrapped my “needle wound arm” very tightly with tape – I mean really tightly – and I asked if that was necessary (because it kinda hurt). And she said – “well, I don’t want you to end up with a huge bruise like you have on your hand now”.  And she was right. A few hours later there is no bruise on my inner arm, yet my hand is still bruised and tender a week later.

Peter very kindly came to the hospital with me for my 8.45 am appointment, and once the test was over we decided that we should find a nice place for breakfast. There was an option to taxi to the centre of town and start looking from there, but I really just wanted to walk. And so we started walking and suddenly it came to me that I had to have a breakfast bagel at Otto Café!!! Which was just over an hour away – or 9000 Fitbit steps – from the hospital. But dammit, we did it.

After that I did a bit of shopping at the market, and now I am home making a killer chicken garum masala (most of which will end up in the freezer for later). And all the while I am hoping all is well. I didn’t sleep a wink last night, other than a short period when I dreamt that they found all kinds of cancer in me after my tests. My next oncology appointment is February 26th, but I am hoping Isabel will be able to let me know my CAT results before then. Waiting is hell.

colonoscopy prep

06 Tuesday Feb 2018

Posted by in food & drink, health & happiness, hospitals, sevilla

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Since Sunday I have been on the pre-colonoscopy low residue diet. It’s really not that hard to stick to, though I’ve noticed that the food list I was given at the hospital last week varies a bit from other lists I’ve found online. But in general they are similar.

Today I am on the day-before liquid diet, which is obviously more extreme (and way more boring). But that’s nothing compared to when I have to start taking the SOLUCIÓN EVACUANTE this evening. All I remember from last time was that I was gagging after the first glass of this stuff, and I’ll have to drink 10 of them – one every 15 minutes – until finished, and then 6 more the next morning. Wish me luck!

après oncology

01 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by in cancer, friends, hope, hospitals, sevilla, sherry

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This morning I had an appointment with my new oncologist. After last week’s “good news bad news” situation following the PET scan I have to say I’ve been pretty stressed, with some days better than others. Say what you will, but after all my cancer history, the idea of a looming recurrence threat just became a lot more real to me. I try hard not to think about this too much, but sometimes it’s just too much.

Anyhow, today my lovely friend and colleague Cinta came with me to my appointment to act as “interpreter”, because when I get really nervous somehow my knowledge of Spanish totally flies out the window, and I wanted to be sure I didn’t miss anything important.

The good news is that both Cinta and I like the new oncologist. She was patient and had a gentle touch whilst poking around my belly. She was also patient as I tried to explain my situation in a more elaborate manner than she possibly required. Then she said that she was going to ask for both a colonoscopy and abdomen-thorax CAT scan, in order to find out what was causing the increase of inflammation seen in the PET scan, and also the extreme abdominal pain I’ve been having since November.

EXCEPT the weirdest thing has happened. After having had “travelling” abdominal pain for almost three months, sometimes so intense I couldn’t sleep and could barely walk… the day after the PET scan ALL THE PAIN DISAPPEARED. What?? I mean, seriously, it’s gone. Well okay, there are a few “tugs” here and there. But I no longer want to scream in agony when I roll over in bed or bend over to put on my shoes. The new onc is taking this as a positive sign, but the tests still need to be done. And I’m still scared.

Anyhow, after Cinta and I left the hospital and got a taxi back to the centre, it seemed like a good time to relax with a nicely chilled manzanilla, even though it wasn’t quite noon yet. Luckily this isn’t anything unusual in Sevilla.

good news, bad news…

25 Thursday Jan 2018

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hope, hospitals

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officially radioactive!

I’ve been having routine PET scans since I was first diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer (metastasis to liver) back in May 2008. At first they were every six months, but then once I became a member of the 5 Year Club they were reduced to once a year.  And every time I’ve been scared witless, fearing I’d hear the worst after my scan. I am very fortunate that my friend Isabel is the head of Nuclear Medicine at my hospital, so she always has a look at my scan while I’m there and gives me the results on the spot. She’ll call me into the PET area and say “all normal, nothing to worry about” and then send me on my way, not quite believing my good fortune.

But today after my scan Isabel called me into a private office and asked me to sit down.

And well, it’s kind of good news / bad news. The good news is that my liver is clean, no signs of anything nasty going on there. The bad (or potentially bad) news is that the “area of inflammation” that has been showing up on my PET scans since 2008 has increased dramatically. Over the years this area has been constantly shrinking, with each PET scan showing it a bit smaller and, as long as it kept shrinking, it was always considered a result of scar tissue. Today Isabel told me that it is back to the size it originally was back in 2008. And so now I will have to undergo more tests – CAT scan, ultrasound, colonoscopy – to (hopefully!) rule out cancer. In theory it could be an inflammatory infection, complications due to the adhesions, or any other number of non-cancer-related issues. Or it could be cancer. And so, Isabel has taken steps to get me an appointment with Oncology asap so they can start the extra testing.

I’m annoyed that they didn’t take me seriously at Emergency when I went there complaining about the abdominal pain back in November (exactly two months ago today). My GP also blew me off when I went to ask him about it afterwards, saying I just had gas and should take a pain killer. And even when I saw an oncologist at the beginning of January, she was totally dismissive about my complaints (you need to lose weight, I’m sure it’s just gas), and reluctantly booked my next PET scan.

The good thing is that now Isabel is setting the wheels in motion for me to get the appropriate extra testing done and, more importantly, to have me taken seriously by these other doctors. Meanwhile I am fluctuating between absolute terror and total denial. How’s your day going?

oncology visit

05 Friday Jan 2018

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Ever since “Lost Saturday” I’ve been quite concerned about the abdominal pain I’ve been experiencing since the beginning of November. I thought for awhile I’d figured out the source of it, but then it shifted, and now it’s worse than ever… really, wtf?

Anyhow, I finally got to see an oncologist today to request my annual PET-TAC scan (it used to be every 6 months), and that was fine. Or as fine as things can go when you are talking to a doctor you’ve never seen in your life, and you are talking about your life… In this case the doctor put in the request, but then she said to me that this would probably be the last time I will need to have scans. Ummm… what? No more annual scans? Why not?

This is a photo I took back in 2009 to show the scars I’d been left with after the 3 slice & dice abdominal cancer ops (there was also a subsequent non-cancer related surgery in 2011, following the same scar lines). So that area of my ever-ageing body is pretty much a big mess. If there are reasons (adhesions?) that I have PAIN all the time now… why can’t anybody tell me this? It’s very frustrating. All I can do now is wait for the next PET-TAC.

self help

19 Tuesday Dec 2017

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So remember my recent “lost Saturday” spent at Emergency due to scary lower abdominal pain? The doctor decided that it was probably “something muscular” and not cancer-related, so I was sent home, still in pain and none the wiser. But during a subsequent email conversation with the amazing Kate (aka Sledpress), she also told me it sounded like a muscular problem that may (or may not) be related to the excrutiating shoulder and arm pain I’d also been experiencing. In fact, both of those started around the same time and just seemed to be getting worse. I didn’t mention the shoulder/arm pain to the emergency doc because, although it hurt like fuckity, it wasn’t in a “scary” location, and I didn’t think they were related.

Anyhoodle, time went on, the pain kept on, nothing was changing… until I went to Málaga! Since Kate had me convinced at this point that the abdominal pain was muscular I started looking for triggers, daily repetitive movements that might be contributing to my discomfort. Then, as if by a miracle, after two days in Málaga my belly pain was easily halved. What? I couldn’t believe it, and I also had no idea why. But it became clear after I got home and went to shower. You see, the new Casa Azahar has a lovely walk-in shower with beautiful tiles. I love it. But there is no bathtub. Meanwhile, at the Málaga apartment there is a bathtub/shower. Difference? Well, at a risk of TMI, I realised that having a bathtub provides a handy footrest when *ahem* trying to reach certain body parts. Just having a flat shower floor requires a different sort of twisting and bending and… BINGO. I found the source of the problem. Or at least so it would seem. I think it will take awhile for the pain to disappear completely, but it’s amazing how much better it got just after two days of NOT DOING THAT (repetitive stress movement). And as soon as I got home I bought myself a plastic shower stool, so I hope that will help with a full recovery.

Meanwhile, Christmas came early while I was away, and I received these two mysterious looking items from Kate. Luckily you can look these things up online and there are even videos to show you how to use them. Because honestly, would you have the slightest idea? And once again, after just two days of using that coat rack looking thingy up there (actually called the Theracane) my shoulder/arm pain has been much reduced. Like whaaat?? For almost two months it’s been frozen solid in PAIN and sleeping was almost impossible. Now I can feel it getting a bit better every day. Incredible.

Of course I need to keep the treatment up, and start doing more preventative self-massage stuff. For example, that little 4-way knobbly thing up there is perfect for when I’m sitting at my desk to release pressure build up in my lower back (well, along with regularly getting up and moving around, natch). It’s been two years since Kate sent me the Trigger Point Therapy Workbook, and I haven’t used it nearly enough. But that stops now.

So the lesson here girls and boys is that we really should be more proactive when it comes to our own health care. Because who knows our bodies better than we do? Both the emergency doctor, and later my GP, just prescribed some scary pain meds (possible side effects: anaphylactic shock!!), which I decided not to take. Because I thought the pain was there for a reason I still hadn’t understood, so I didn’t want to just numb it. I wanted to know why it was there.

Of course both doctors and medical treatments have their place. I wouldn’t be here today if not for the top surgeons who saved my life, and the others who made sure I got the best cancer treatment (almost) ten years ago. And many chronic illnesses are often best treated with drug therapy. But this time I am glad I didn’t go with the simple painkiller option.

Also, I’m not criticising doctors who take the “take two aspirin and call me in the morning” route, because they are so overworked – I’m told that GPs here are only allowed about 4 minutes per patient to stay on schedule, and hopefully they are good enough diagnosticians to point you to the right specialist if you need one. I also agreed with my Emergency doctor that she had done her job (no emergency here, let’s move on). Which then left it up to me to figure out what was going on. And thanks to Kate, and a quick trip to Málaga, it seems things are now getting better.

 

lost saturday

25 Saturday Nov 2017

Posted by in casa azahar, cats, health & happiness, hospitals

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Though I have to say I am happy it didn’t turn into a lost weekend (or worse!). I have been having some very uncomfortable abdominal pain (lower left side) for about 10 days, but as I tend to get a lot of discomfort down there due to the hernia, and the adhesions from multiple operations, I mostly just live with it. But the past couple of days it was getting much more painful, even when taking a deep breath, so I decided to head over to Emergency.

Of course because PET scan time is coming up (the last one was in December 2016) part of me was fearing The Worst. Not to mention that I was remembering another time I’d gone to Emergency with serious abdominal pain and it ended up with me having an emergency op to remove an infected ovary. So before I could leave the house I had to make a few preparations (mostly cat related) in case I didn’t come home that evening. But I was wishing with all my heart that my Saturday evening would be spent at home, Netflixing with all the cats on my lap.

Peter kindly came with me. We met near the taxi stand and on the way I reminded him about the cat feeding schedule, where to find all my passwords, etc, in case I ended up having to stay in hospital (or worse!). Even how to access my bank account in case of, you know, The Worst. And all the while I kept trying to stay calm.

Once at the hospital I got poked and prodded, and the doctor said she couldn’t find any evidence of an obstruction. I asked if it might be hernia related and she asked where the hernia was. I have to admit I lost a bit of confidence when I had to point out the balloon of flesh protruding from my belly button. But just to rule out anything serious she ran blood & urine tests and I got an abdominal x-ray taken. THEN we had to wait three long and stressful hours for the results to come back. They were all normal.

Of course this was a relief, but the doctor still had no idea what was causing the pain and said I should get in touch with either my GP or Oncologist. I asked about having a CT scan done and she said they wouldn’t do that in Emergency unless they considered it an Emergency Situation, and she seemed to think she had ruled out any serious cause for my mystery pain. I dunno, it felt a bit like she was passing the buck. A couple of years ago a similar instance occurred and they at least did a second x-ray with a contrast agent for comparison. So I guess I’ll call both my GP and the Oncology department on Monday and see what they say about all this.

Anyhow, although I wasn’t left entirely at ease at the end of my lost day at the hospital, I was happy that my earlier wish had come true and I got to spend Saturday evening at home covered in cats.