Has there ever been a good one?
Inspired by reading this post over on Polonius’s blog, I started to wonder about the worst ever movie remakes. I haven’t seen many myself, but the worst that stands out in recent memory is the Cohn Bros. totally dire version of The Ladykillers.
Perhaps we should limit this to original screenplays as ‘remakes’ of Shakespeare, Dickens & Austen abound and it’s a personal choice as to which is the ‘definitive’ version. And of course The Bunny Remakes are all fabulous. 
So, what is the worst remake you’ve ever seen?
And which film would you hate to see made again?
casa azahar 
Pingback: » worst movie remake ever?
Well…maybe more pointless than bad as such (but, yes, usually also bad), there’s the strange Hollywood practice of taking an entertaining-but-cool French film and giving it the megabucks treatment. Taxi vs Taxi is one example. Or…shit…what’s that one with the female killer? Scene where she dives down a service lift and escapes an explosion? But most pointless of all was Depardieu starring in both Mon père, ce héros and My Father the Hero
(Someone please tell me the name of the film I’ve forgotten. It’s bugging me now)
Oh! And how can we overlook La Cage au Folles vs The Birdcage?
Any opinions on The Magnificent Seven vs The Seven Samurai?
LikeLike
Panic over! La Femme, Nikita vs Point of No Return/ The Assassin (UK title). I see there was an HK version also, cf The Departed vs Internal Affairs.
More here:
http://www.movie-remakes.com/index.asp
LikeLike
No – ignore that site. It thinks Rob Roy was a remake of Braveheart.
LikeLike
I only watched the Nikita remake because it had *swoon* Gabriel Byrne in it – he couldn’t save it though.
And no way would I watch The Birdcage.
Wasn’t there also a bad remake of that wonderful French film about two cops who were partners … now I’m having memory problems. Quite sure the original had Philip Noiret in it.
As for The Magnificent Seven vs The Seven Samurai, I’ve always thought of them as quite distinct films, though no doubt using similar ‘mythology’.
Apparently there was an awful remake of the Spanish film Abre los Ojos (dir: Alejandro Amenábar), called Vanilla Sky.
LikeLike
Oh gaaaaa! And there was also a seriously bad remake of Godard’s magnificent À Bout de Souffle, which I saw on TV.
And more recently there was terrible remake of Sabrina, which I saw a part of on TV.
So, have there ever been any good remakes? I can’t think of any offhand.
LikeLike
Another one is Kurosawa’s Yojimbo that Sergio Leone transferred into “A fistful of dollars”.
I think there is another remake of Yojimbo as well.
LikeLike
I think that falls into the same category as The Seven Samurai vs The Magnificent Seven.
I haven’t seen Yojimbo, but I actually think A Fistful of Dollars is a wonderful film of that genre – and nobody did ‘Spaghetti Western’ soundtracks better than Ennio Morricone.
And here we fall into the fuzzy area of what is an actual remake and what is taking a basic storyline and putting it into an entirely different setting and telling the story a bit differently.
One could argue that West Side Story was a remake of Romeo and Juliet, which is what it was in the sense that it used a similar storyline, but moved the whole thing to late 50’s New York, and turned it into a musical.
It doesn’t surprise me that some American directors were inspired by the hero tales from Japan or other cultures and turned them into ‘Wild West’ stories. But in my mind that doesn’t make their versions a ‘remake’. It’s more about the universality of these particular stories that spoke to them, as they do to all of us.
I would say that remakes are those that are clearly copy another film from beginning to end, using the same characters, the same plot, the same everything. Like a few of the ones that have been mentioned previously.
LikeLike
The Lord of the Rings was a remake, actually, although they went from the books and not from the dreadful Ralph Bakshi animated version. And I must say, it was pretty damn good.
The Man With One Red Shoe, however…
Also, everything Brian DePalma has ever done has just been a remake of anything Hitchcock threw away, so it all counts as a bad remake.
LikeLike
I’ve never seen the Nikita remake, ’cause for me there can be only 1…the character ‘Bob’ portrayed by the still-to-this-day glorious Tcheky Karyo. Before I met Metro, I went to Paris, and one of my French students had found Karyo’s agent’s office address for me. I resisted. But that was the closest I ever came to celebrity-stalking.
But the utter worst movie remake, as yet unmentioned: “You’ve got Mail”, the silly remake of “The Shop Around the Corner”.
LikeLike
I never saw the original Ladykillers, but I loved the Cohen brothers’ version. I thought it was hilarious! But I’m a big fan of pretty much anything that duo makes. The Big Lebowski is my fave movie period.
LikeLike
In response to remakes, there are some good remakes, just rent John Carpenter’s “The Thing” and of course there are a lot of very bad remakes, Just look at “Get Carter”, “Assault on Precinct 13th” and countless others. When examining a remake all you have to do is ask yourself this simple question “did the remake add or build to the original?” Whether it is special effects, casting, or just a better budget. With that said you can look at a movie like “The Hill Have eyes” Although I am a big fan of the original Wes Craven film, the remake was much more intense, the acting was better, and the script added more than the original offered. The recent Peter Jackson King Kong gave what the original now lacks, special effects. Although the effects at that time were superb, todays effects by comparison overshadow the original. And whatever you do…dont judge a remake with the soft spot you hold for it in your heart. You know what Im talking about….that movie you didnt want to be remade because it reminds you of your childhood. Be honest when reviewing a remake. I love “Escape from New York” with Kurt Russell! But I’m willing to give the remake a chance! So when all is said and done, just ask that simple question “did the remake add or build to the original?” Cheers from director Hugo V.com
LikeLike
Or basically … was there any point in doing it again?
Some of the ones mentioned here were clearly almost carbon-copies of the originals but using popular ‘updated-actors’ (for example, Sabrina). I really don’t see the point of these, other than the studios want to cash in on younger audiences (who would probably enjoy the originals if they were made readily available).
Others, as you say, add to the original in some way. And that would be a personal call.
I think that’s a difficult one to avoid.
Hello and welcome, by the way. 🙂
LikeLike
Hmm, I would have nominated ‘Assault on Precinct 13’ as a good remake of a good film, to whit ‘Rio Bravo’. Terry Gilliam did a bang up job re-making ‘La Jetee’ with ’12 Monkeys’ as well.
But the majority of remakes are just crap. Jackson’s ‘King Kong’, Stallone’s ‘Get Carter’ and Jude Law’s ‘Alfie’ being pretty much at the top of the list.
Although I await with interest to see how the ‘radically different’, Harold Pinter scripted remake of ‘Sleuth’ works out. That has the potential to be excellent. As does the Russell Crowe starring re-make of ‘3.10 to Yuma’.
And one of my all time favourite movies, ‘His Girl Friday’, is a brilliant re-make of the equally brilliant ‘Front Page’.
LikeLike
One of my absolutely least favorite remakes was “A Perfect Murder”, which was a remake of Hitchcock’s completely amazing movie “Dial M for Murder.” Gwyneth Paltrow takes the part originally and luminously played by Grace Kelly. They managed to take a marvelous film and make it boring, despite the addition of a completley extraneous chase scene.
I can’t think of any movies I’d like to see remade. If they were terrible, remaking them probably won’t make them better. And if they were great, why try to do them over again? Why not just let them continue on being great?
LikeLike
Well put azahar! “was there any point in doing it again?” is a great way to view remakes. And by the way all remakes of John Carpenter movies have failed to meet or surpass the original. This includes “Assault on Precinct 13th”, “The Fog”, “Halloween” and now we are going to have “Escape From New York” and rumored “The thing”. What happened to 3 strikes youre out? Leave John Carpenter’s masterpieces alone!!!
Cheers!
HUGO V.
LikeLike
For some reason that escapes me I actually saw that awful remake of Dial M for Murder, hmh, and I agree it was a complete waste of time.
I’m not a fan of John Carpenter so I can’t comment on any remakes of his films as I never saw the originals.
I wonder when they’ll start doing remakes of remakes, if they haven’t already. I mean other than the multiple remakes of classics by Shakespeare and Dickens.
LikeLike
I’ve just seen that there is a remake of Sleuth showing here – eek! With Michael Caine playing Lawrence Olivier’s role and (ick) Jude Law playing Michael Cain’s original role. Directed by Kenneth Brannaugh.
Is there any way this can be good?
I’m almost tempted to go just to find out but am afraid I’ll come home complaining about those two hours of my life I’ll never get back again.
LikeLike
Well, Caine can still act (in fact he’s almost certainly a better film actor than dear old Larry ever was), Jude Law can act when properly directed, Branagh is no slouch and the screenplay is by some nobody called Pinter.
So actually, this is one remake that has all the potential to be as good as the original…(And I said as much in Post 14, I’d like to point out.)
(Oh and Hugo, the re-make of The Fog is pretty bad, but so was the original and they are both directed by Carpenter. The Thing is already a vastly over-hyped remake of a much better film.)
LikeLike
In response to Blues Shark, many will disagree with your comment about the Original “Fog”. it is by far not the greatest movie ever made, but it more than stands on its own as a horror movie. P.S. and John Carpenter’s The Thing is not a re-make of the 50’s version but kinda like a sequel. The dog comes from the the original camp and finds it’s way to a new station. And over-hyped? Have you ever seen it? And Remember…it was made over 20 years ago! It still kicks the ass of any horror movie made since then. It is atmospheric, creepy, the effects are way beyond it’s time (none of that digital crap that looks flat), and the acting is aweseome for a horror movie. Re-rent it!
LikeLike
Oh Blues Shark…one more thing…John Carpenter did not direct the re-make of The Fog…do your homework 😉
LikeLike
Have I seen Carpenter’s The Thing? Yes. It’s dull, unoriginal and substitutes gore for suspense. Most of it’s reputation hangs on admittedly groundbreaking special effects and one line of dialogue, but those factors do not a movie make. Not quite as bad a Schrader’s nightmarishly bad re-make of Cat People, but getting there.
As for who directed the re-make of The Fog, I could care less. I saw neither the ending nor the beginning and it was billed as ‘John Carpenter’s The Fog’. It was certainly dull enough to be any movie he’s made in the last 25 years – i.e. since They Live.
LikeLike
Well Blues Shark we can go on and on about The Thing and probably disagree. But before I let the matter die…The Thing does not substitute gore for suspense. The suspense is first and definitely there! The groundbreaking special effects, or as you put it, the gore, are just the whip cream and cherry on top of a classic movie! Cheers!!
LikeLike
I certainly don’t mind you guys ‘going on and on’ … it’s nice seeing old posts kept alive.
Last night I saw The Departed (Scorsese 2006) without knowing it was a remake of Infernal Affairs (Hong Kong 2002).
I wonder if I would have enjoyed The Departed as much as I did if I had seen the original.
Oh, and I loved the soundtrack.
LikeLike
Azahar…I think you would have enjoyed The Departed just as much as if you had seen The Hong Kong original. I saw the original first and then Scorsese’s version and enjoyed it just as much. Just not as surprising.
P.S. “John Carpenter’s The Thing” is an underated cinematic masterpiece! But since it’s a horror movie…who will acknowledge its brilliance. If it was re-released in movie theatres today and marketed as a new movie it would still be better than all the crap out there!
LikeLike
Considering the importance of the original movie,planet of the apes has to be the worst remake ever!!!
LikeLike
Hi Paul, and welcome. 🙂
I haven’t seen the Tim Burton remake of the Planet of the Apes … from what I remember of the original I do understand why you are just against a remake of it on principle. And I reckon Hugo V might also agree with you.
Like, what was the point???
Well, I never did get round to seeing the Sleuth remake before it was taken off …
LikeLike
Azahar…you reckon correctly….Planet of the Apes is one of the worst remakes ever! What was the point? And Tim Burton… the wrong director for the project. Don’t get me wrong….I love Tim Burton when he does Tim Burton films…but when he ventures out of his game..oooh he’s out there with Ed Wood (Ironic isn’t it).
However, I did not shoot down the idea of the remake until I actually saw it. Then I decided how bad it indeed was. What a waste of Director, Whalberg, Special Effects and film.
And the ending…oh my god…what was Burton thinking!! While I was watching this terrible re-make I was thinking to myself; please, please, dont ruin or change the ending…guess the film gods were not listening!
One more interesting note, I own the giant metal chandlier that the ape played by Tim Roth cuts down and crashed to the floor. Dont ask why, I just got my hands on it. ; )
Cheers from Director Hugo V.!
LikeLike
Wow, what have you done with it? Is it hanging in your house?
Did you like Burton’s Ed Wood?
LikeLike
Oh, and I just saw this today – I wonder how Burton will do with Sweeney Todd.
Tim Burton’s singalong
LikeLike
Azahar…
actually the chandlier from the movie (the remake of Planet of The Apes) is soooo big and must weight about 300 pounds… that I have it in my back yard. It makes a great decoration.
When I tell people that it’s from the movie they usually laugh and don’t believe me!
Oh…I loved “Ed Wood” by Tim Burton. Johnny Depp was brilliant and the whole black and white thing was perfect.
But I dont know about seeing Sweeny Todd though!
LikeLike
Finally saw Sweeny Todd…great sets….Johnny Depp was great…songs/music were ok…movie as a whole was CRAP!!!
Tim Burton can be such a genius at times and so Ed Wood at times!
LikeLike
What about that recent one with Nicholas Cage? Can’t remember the title, but the original had Robert Woodward…
LikeLike