I’m not at all a butterflies & flowers sort of optimist, nor am I a down-in-the-mouth pessimist. I’m pretty much a realist/optimist and I like being practical about things. And I always find honesty to be the best policy.
My first chemo session three weeks ago was very scary for me because I was still trying to get my head around the 50/50 prognosis and also Nog had just left town for a month. Plus, I had no idea what to expect or how I was going to react to the treatment. This time I feel better prepared . . .
To wit, this weekend I am doing chemo prep stuff. Getting all the laundry done, changing the sheets, tidying the apartment, etc. Tomorrow I’ll be preparing some snacky foods for the ‘nausea days’. Last time I found that the kinds of food that sat best with my queasy stomach were things like grilled cheese sandwiches (really any kind of toasted sandwich: ham, scrambled egg…) and, surprisingly, pizza. I think because any bread and cheese combination feels like comfort food to me, but I’ve also heard that cheese is good for stopping diarrhea (that always looks like a pirate word to me), so maybe that’s why I found myself craving it. And so tomorrow I’m going to make one of my fabulous pizzas, which is good for three meals, and freeze it in meal-sized packets. I’ve already stocked up on sandwichy stuff and I’ve also got plenty of mineral water in. And the last job on Sunday night will be to change the cat sand and take out all the rubbish.
It feels good being able to prepare like this … I feel less vulnerable knowing what to expect and doing what I can to make things easier.
The day at the hospital is going to be a bit different from last time because I have to get there early (8.00am) for a blood test. Then I see the oncologist at 10.45 and she’ll decide whether I’m okay to have another chemo session. And only then will I find out if they’ll be able to fit me in that day, though I’m told they usually can. But this means I may not get an appointment for the chemo until sometime in the afternoon.
Knowing this also helps because it’s already been planned that La J will come with me for the ‘first shift’. We’re going to cycle over to the hospital together and once the blood test is done we’ll go and have brekky. Then Pipocas will take the ‘second shift’ and come with me to see the oncologist. As for the ‘third shift’, it will depend on when I get the chemo appointment. At least now I know it takes about 3 hours so I won’t ask anyone to sit with me the whole time. Maybe I’ll borrow Pipocas’s mini dvd player and then either she or La J can come and pick me up afterwards. I was okay after the last time (other than my very painful hand) but they recommend that I have someone with me when I leave the hospital.
Meanwhile … a serendipitous moment! While I was writing this post I got a call from Pilar (one of The Team*) and she asked me for details about my appointment with the surgeon and my next chemo session. I told her my main niggling concern right now is that the surgery has been put off for two months due to waiting lists and holidays. She told me not to worry because doing four cycles of chemo before an operation like this is pretty standard, but to put my mind at ease she would call the surgeon (who she knows) and she also said she’d show up on Monday to talk with my oncologist. And tomorrow she wants to come over and invite me out for a cold beer. 🙂
I have to say that having The Team there has made all the difference. In terms of me not feeling like I’m ‘just another patient’ being fed into an impersonal hospital system. From that first morning they showed up before my emergency op to tell me I had one of the best surgeons going and was in very good hands … then opening my eyes in the wake-up room to see Pilar and Isabel smiling at me. And the whole week I was in hospital they’d all come and visit and make me feel safe.
And also having my friends there to go with me to hospital appointments. They know how scared I am of hospitals, and also how scared I am about what is happening to me.
After my first chemo session I felt so silly asking nursemyra if she’d spend the night at my apartment, but I was just so afraid to be left on my own because I had no idea how the chemo was going to affect me. Happily she didn’t mind doing this at all. This time I reckon I’ll be less afraid, but I’ll also know that La J is just next door.
Gotta get back to work now – got plenty to do…
* For those who don’t know, The Team consists of three fabulous people I have taught English to over the years, who all work in the Nuclear Medicine department, and who also became my friends. Two are now ex-students (Ricardo, head of the dept, and Isabel, second in charge) ; Pilar came back for classes again this year.
Hey, you don’t sound pessimistic at all! That’s some mighty realistic planning.
AND, you sound like you’ve got some good people on your side there. Metro and I send you great big hugs!
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Ondansetron and avoiding you favourite dishes is my tip for fighting the nausea. A bucket next to bed as well. Cats are nice to.
Is that weather gadget really correct? 31C? Now? Gosh!
Don’t forget the water.
*hugs*
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Thanks Lori and Metro. 🙂
Avoiding favourite dishes shouldn’t be a problem, dq. Last time during the ‘nausea days’ I could barely manage a sandwich at mid-day, though because I had to take the chemo pills with food I’d force down a yoghurt in the morning and some crackers in the evening.
I’m not sure what the temperature is now. According to the weather widget the ‘official’ high temperature today was 37º, and you can usually add about 5º more to get the temperature in the city centre. Yikes – it’s supposed to go up to 40º (45º) next week!
As part of chemo prep I’m also enjoying being able to drink cold water while I still can. At least now I know that the horrible ‘metal mouth’ and not being able to eat, drink or touch anything cold only lasts about ten days. Drinking room temperature water (especially when the room is 40º) is not refreshing.
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I know the ‘cold water’ thing really bothered you so it must be reassuring to have a time frame on that too.
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Very reassuring, nursemyra. Last time I thought that metal mouth and the cold thing was going to last the whole 6-8 months of chemo. Not only is it very unpleasant but that was the bit that really made me feel ‘poisoned’.
Meanwhile, I have no idea what I’m still doing up at this hour. Should have been asleep hours ago …
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perhaps the pitter patter of cockroaches is keeping you awake…..
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*shudder*
I suppose the up side of sleeping on the sofa bed in the living room this coming week is that during the ‘nausea days’ when I’m flat on my back I’ll be able to watch tv …
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My luck, if I had former students, they would work for Revenue Canada and hate my guts….
You are so very lucky to have such a specialized and obviously dedicated group of people on your side when you need them.
Hugs for tomorrow….
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Thanks Anneke. 🙂
Yeah, I’m really lucky to have such wonderful students (and ex-students). Quite a few of them have ended up becoming friends.
Another student (my favourite chatterbox Bosco) is going to take the ‘third shift’ tomorrow. He’ll be meeting me at the hospital during the chemo and then he’ll take me home when it’s over.
And Pipocas is bringing her mini dvd player to the hospital in the morning, along with a couple of series for me to watch (24 and Nip & Tuck).
So it’s going to be a long day … well, if they can fit me in for chemo. I hope so, now that everything is arranged. I’d rather get it over and done with than have to go back on Tuesday.
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dragonqueen has a great suggestion about avoiding your favorite foods. The LAST thing you want is to taint them forever with the chemo aftertaste and memories of nausea. When I was sick my downstairs roomie had some pungent hyacinth-scented potpourri and it was literally ten years before I could enjoy the smell again, even though it had been one of my favorites. Best just not to establish the connection in the first place.
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I’m writing this as you’re probably at the chemo appt. I hope you get in quickly, and out just as fast. Nothing more aggravating to have something you’re *so* not looking forward to, and then having to wait even longer to finish the process. I’m impressed with your planning! dq and archie are right — watch out for those associations, though.
I’m so happy that you’ve got such a great team of people on your side right now. Good luck this week.
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Yep, seconding spacecadette’s wishes here, too. The prep sounds like an excellent idea, as does the dvd player and having the various members of The Team on hand in shifts.
The rest of us will be astrally projecting ourselves over to Seville and hanging out with you, too 🙂 x
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I never thought about food getting tainted with chemo associations … good point.
Well, guess what? My chemo session has been postponed until tomorrow.
First of all, when I went to get my blood test done at the chemo lab they told me there had been a problem, so everyone had to go over to the Laboratorio building and get their tests done there. Which. Took. Forever.
After that, Judy and I went for brekky and met up with Pipocas at the appointed time to see the oncologist – 10.45. We hung out visiting together until Judy had to go, then P & I stayed there waiting (and solving the world’s problems, like you do) and waiting, and waiting … finally got in to see the oncologist just after 1 o’clock, and by then it was too late to book a chemo appointment for today.
So I have to go back tomorrow at 1.30 … bleh.
While waiting I saw Isabel (from The Team) and she told me about another oncologist there that she knows, called Rocio. And it turned out that she was the one I saw today, not Yolanda. So she knew I was ‘the English teacher’.
Anyhow, her suggestion was that next time I make it a two-day thing to start off with. So on Monday August 11th I’ll cycle over to the Laboratorio bright and early just to get the blood test done. Then the next day I’ll have the oncologist appointment at 10 and will be able to do the chemo that day as well. Sounds like a good idea.
So instead of having chemo this afternoon, Pipocas took me out for lunch at Yebra and we had tapa versions of these, along with a couple other tapas … and of course some lovely wine (COLD white wine for me, while I still can). Way more fun!
Anyhoodle, gotta plan tomorrow now. I’m thinking one person to go with me for the inevitable waiting period and help me get set up in the comfy chair, and then another (probably Bosco) to come towards the end of the session and take me home. I’ve got the mini dvd player, a book and my iPod, so I’m well-prepared.
And so I am really enjoying myself this afternoon, a bonus day of feeling normal.
Thanks for all the support and good wishes. I’ll take them with me tomorrow. 🙂
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“my downstairs roomie had some pungent hyacinth-scented potpourri and it was literally ten years before I could enjoy the smell again”
My sister had he jaw aligned when she was about 16 (she had an overbite) and this required major surgery and she got an infection… They stuffed her cheeks with great big cotton wads soaked in clove oil to help with the pain and for the infection… To this day (and she is in her 40s) she cannot stand the taste and smell of cloves.
For me, I cannot stand the sight let alone taste or smell of cabbage rolls. When I was 4 (4!) a sitter made me eat an entire can of them (canned cabbage rolls!!!!) and, at age 51, they give me the horrors. I can still taste them.
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