I’m afraid the black clouds were back this weekend.
I think the oncologist visit on Friday kind of threw me, as well as some other info I’ve been reading elsewhere. It suddenly hit home that I am in a remission state at the moment that I’ve been taking way too much for granted. Which at first felt like a bit of a wake up call, and I set about making sure that I didn’t waste any more days. Then I totally collapsed about half-way through my “wonderful day” and I realised that I need to do things differently. It seems that even taking things one day at a time is still more than I can handle, so I dunno … take things by the hour? Seriously, I think making lists and then just focusing on the job at hand is probably going to be the best way of coping for now. A little therapeutic tunnel vision. Hour by hour. Because trying to deal with a whole day is sometimes just too overwhelming.
So I’ll be starting today off with an hour of coffee & reading in bed, then an hour of yoga, and then … well then we’ll see if I can get the sun to come out. One hour at a time. . .