Today I start on the colonoscopy diet.
For the next two days I will only be able to eat meat, fish, poultry, eggs, dairy products and – for some bizarre reason – biscuits (as in digestive biscuits or similar). I cannot eat any fruit, vegetables, legumes, bread, potatoes, pasta or rice. The hardest thing for me will be going without vegetables, but it’s only two days and so I plan to make it as interesting as possible. Will be going to the market this morning to stock up on free-range chicken, fresh salmon, calamares, pork ribs (honey & mustard ribs – mmm…) and possibly a nice leg of lamb. What the hell.
Of course, the worst day is going to be Sunday (day before the colonscopy) because I can only have liquids that day and around 4pm have to start drinking the “solución evacuante“. One sachet of “orange-flavoured” gack mixed with 250cc of water … every 15-20 minutes until all 16 sachets have been consumed. That’s 4 litres of water! Yikes. I’m quite used to drinking 2 litres of water throughout the day, but even for me this seems like too much.
And this is supposed to be my “week off” as I finished with the chemo pills for this cycle yesterday. During my last week off I had to have the port installed, and now this time it’s the colonoscopy. Bummer. 😦
casa azahar 
Hmmm – it’s no comparison, but I start a gluten free diet tomorrow.
My wife has been recommended to try it for two weeks and I, like a fool, agreed to do it along with her.
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The thing about the 4 liters of water mixed with “gack” is that most of it goes right straight through you. Ah, colonoscopy prep. What fun. At least this time when I tell you I am sympathetic I know exactly what you are going through!
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Huh. That’s a weird restricted diet they force on you. I’d hate to go without fruits and vegetables, too.
I hope orange flavored gack is more palatable that strawberry flavored snot!
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oooooh, that sounds as though it will be hard. Don’t get me wrong, I love eggs and bacon and smoked salmon and scrambled eggs etc etc, but I start to crave veggies if I don’t have them for a day. I can take or leave fruit, though. Too much gives me an acid stomach ache, like wine.
May the force be with you!
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Well, all I can say is thank gawd I can still have my morning digestive biscuits dipped in coffee. My friend Carmen told me last night that she thinks the reason I can’t have fruit or veg is because they cause gas (?).
A gluten-free diet doesn’t sound like much fun, Johnny.
“The thing about the 4 liters of water mixed with “gack” is that most of it goes right straight through you”
Ah yes, I expect to be spending most of tomorrow evening on the toilet. Perhaps I should set up Shadow on a little table in there…
“I hope orange flavored gack is more palatable that strawberry flavored snot!”
Alas, I have been informed that it is just as vile.
I guess this is kind of like going on the Atkins diet. Or perhaps just a typical American diet? 😉
Meat Now America’s No.2 Condiment
“American consumption habits have made meat a necessity just so people can notice that they’re eating something,”
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Hmmm, around here the colonoscopy prep involves no red meat for three days. I have this
ordealprocedure due this year, too. One reason I haven’t gone to the doctor yet this year is I know she will order it. *sigh* Then again, my dad had colon cancer and ended up with a colostomy, so I guess I’d better do it. I’m hoping they give me the prep that is only 2 quarts of gack with some pills. Otherwise they’d better put a nasogastric tube in and pour it down. My sympathies.P.S. The cherry flavored gack is awful, too. Nearly ruined one of my favorite flavors for me.
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Sigh, no rest for the wicked.
For a little while recently you could take tablets instead, but people weren’t drinking enough water and the tablets could cause kidney problems … so because people can’t seem to follow instructions you’re back to drinking that vile orange gack. And plenty of it.
Ick. I’m sorry you don’t get to eat your veggies, but the ribs sound lovely.
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Really??? Maybe I should call them at the hospital and ask if they have the pill option. I could pop over there this afternoon and do a swap. I would have no problem drinking the water. As I say 2-3 litres is normal for me anyhow. Hmmm…
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No gluten free isn’t/won’t be much fun, but at least it is only an experiment.
I would find it easier avoiding gluten than having to watch my sugar intake for example (diabetes etc). Or to be told that I couldn’t eat chocolate etc.
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At least it’s only for a couple of days, but I don’t envy you the orange gak :yuk:
Gluten-free’s not too bad, I tried it for a while last year. Lunch is the trickiest meal to work round because it’s so often sandwich based, but I’ve now got the habit of making loads of veggie soup/ stew at the weekend and having that for lunches.
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“May the force be with you”
That was Monday wasn’t it? Today is of course Motorhead day…..
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I wonder what the veggie do that caused them to be restricted for the procedure. Strange.
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Yeah, I don’t get it either, mister anchovy.
This afternoon Nog took me out for lunch and we made the most of having to eat all protein (though Nog got to have olives and bread). Looks good, huh?
Protein lunch
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When I had my colonscopies the prep was three days no red meat, then one day of completely liquid diet. The stuff they gave me to drink was not flavored. I was instructed that I could add flavoring to it if I wanted to as long as it had no red color in it. I decided that the gack was gack whether it was flavored or not, so I drank it without benefit of artificial lemon flavor.
What I remember most about that experience was how after about the fourth time I passed the colon cleansing gack, which I was amused to note was called “Go-lytely” (it should have been called “go-often”), everything was coming out clear. Then the next time I cleansed, all the fluid I passed was bright yellow. It took me a while to realize that that was when my gall bladder decided to completely empty itself.
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I think it is now time to revisit the joke about poor Mr. Smith.
Mr. Smith has a glass eye, and has developed the unattractive habit of removing it, popping it in his mouth, then polishing it against his sleeve before slipping it back in. One day he is at the bus stop doing this when a long-time-no-see friend comes along and claps him on the shoulder saying “Fred! Where ya been!?” and in his moment of shock, down goes the eye. Oops.
Well, he reasons, what goes down must come out and he waits a few days but finds he is nothing except… extremely… constipated.
Fearing a serious predicament, he calls a proctologist out of the phone book and makes an appointment for that afternoon, explaining he is in a serious fix but not giving too many details. When he signs in with the receptionist he is visibly jumpy and awkward, and she warns the doctor his new patient is clearly very edgy. The doctor’s rushing because the appointment was squeezed-in, so they set Mr. Smith up on an exam table, face down, and the doctor hustles in with as much bonhomie as he can manage. “A little sense of obstruction, I hear? Relax — don’t worry — we’ll see if we can find what’s wrong right here in the office.” He chats him up while preparing the proctoscope and threads it in, Mr. Smith still stiff as a board no matter how pleasant and gentle the doctor is. Doc bends down to peer through the eye piece and there is… an eye, staring right back at him.
He looks up at his patient — rigid, sweating bullets — and back through the scope.
Still this staring eye.
Patting his patient kindly on the flank, the doctor says in the most soothing tone he can manage: “Now, now, Mr. Smith. If you don’t trust us — we can’t help you.”
Keep an eye on the bastards.
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Ha! 🙂
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Well, my protein today consisted of cod, pork and eggs. And lots of water. I also read somewhere that it was okay to drink apple juice, so I bought some organic stuff this morning. I don’t usually like apple juice, but this stuff is quite nice and I think it will be especially good for “all liquid” Sunday.
I’ve got a couple of things to mix my “solución evacuante” with, but I’ve read that the best thing is to make sure the water is very cold and drink the gack through a straw. I’ve also read about people who only managed to drink half the gack and their doctors said this was better than drinking it all and throwing up afterwards. If it’s anything like the barium (strawberry-flavoured snot) I really can’t see getting all four litres down. At least with the barfium it’s “only” about a litre and a half.
Tomorrow I think I’ll stew an organic chicken and save the broth for Sunday. Decided to skip the leg of lamb. It’s really boring just eating meat. And I’d eat cheese but it’s no fun without bread or crackers.
What do vegans eat when they need a colonoscopy?
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I would think that eating a diet like that and then drinking that gack (which I’ve had twice now) would cause a rather painful …um… movement. I’ve heard that child birth is like crapping a bowling ball, you may just give birth to a strapping big Brunswick! (Hopefully none of the fluorescent colours they are famous for….). 😛
No strain, no pain!
Take care.
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Well, one of the side-effects of the chemo pills is extreme “dire rear”. Which is still happening, as I just finished taking the pills for this cycle on Thursday. So I suspect that the “cleaning out” process may not require as much gack in my case.
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Okay, on my way to bed … that’s it for food until sometime Monday afternoon.
I don’t mind the fasting bit, but the orange-flavoured gack!!!
Read somewhere that if the water is really really cold and you drink it through a straw then it is less gacky. We shall see…
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Right … twelve sachets down, four more to go.
For the record, this stuff isn’t as gacky as the barfium.
I’m mixing it with 1/4 orange gatorade and 3/4 water, which helps bring out the “orange flavour” a bit more. But when I get to the bottom of the glass there is always a bunch of undissolved crystals and it’s an ordeal getting that last swallow down.
Oops. Sorry folks, gotta go …
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Here’s hoping everything went Ok, and you can now eat to make up for it!
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Uff, it was really a painful experience, Johnny. And I was curiously not very hungry at all yesterday after it was all over.
Got the report but will have to discuss it with my oncologist tomorrow. They found something that they have sent out to be biopsied, but also said there were no polyps nor any sign of neoplastic recurrence. There is apparently some inflammation, which may or may not be caused by the chemo.
Hope to know more mañana…
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Somehow a :hug: seems inadequate after all that tinkering around with your innards – but I send you one anyway.
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