Awhile ago on a particularly pleasant day I said to Nog, “I feel so happy that it scares me” … and we both laughed. Since then, and especially since my good news on Monday, I just can’t shake this happy feeling. I think it started when I found out I had to wait another two weeks until the PET scan and I decided to just enjoy the hell out of those two weeks and treat them as a “holiday from cancer”. In other words, I gave myself permission to be happy. And well, okay, I got pretty nervous the weekend before the scan, but now that I know I have at least six months before I have to face that particular dragon again, I am going ahead with extending this cancer holiday season until then. And damn it feels good. No, not suddenly like everything is all sunshine and butterflies, but a huge weight has been lifted and I feel like I can really breathe again. Like I can finally be myself.

Turns out I’m actually quite nice once you get to know me.  🙂