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sunday song – higher ground
21 Sunday Jun 2026
Posted in hope, music, sunday song, video
21 Sunday Jun 2026
Posted in hope, music, sunday song, video
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04 Monday May 2026
Posted in health, health & happiness, home, hope, sevilla

Can I tell you? April was a MONTH. I mean, it was a good month in many ways, especially the trip to Aracena, but that also took a lot out of me and left me frustrated that I wasn’t able to do more there because I COULDN’T WALK. So that’s a painfully ongoing situation and I’m a bit stuck in “lose weight limbo” after my last traumatology visit when they finally confirmed I needed a full knee replacement BUT that they wouldn’t put me on a surgery waiting list until I lose 10 kilos. Meanwhile, I can’t find my report from that last appointment (they are usually online) so on Wednesday I will be seeing my GP to make sure she knows what’s up, as she will be the one to confirm the weight loss (when it happens) and then inform traumatology. I just want to make sure this is all written down somewhere. Every day the pain gets worse and to say it’s taking me from my life is a serious understatement.
03 Saturday Jan 2026
Posted in cancer, health & happiness, hope, sevilla

Yep still doing this which means… I’m still here! As I hope to be a year from now to continue this annual message of hope (from that first time in 2009) when I boldly posted my daybook turned to January 3rd 2010 with the words “STILL HERE!” written on it. After having been diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer mid-2008 and going through three major operations and chemo twice and being told my chances of survival weren’t very good. But I made it to January 2010 and I hope to keep posting this every January 3rd for some time to come. Watch this space.
18 Monday Aug 2025
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I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE THE KNEE SPECIALIST. The call came in this morning and I almost couldn’t believe it. It’s for next week, August 28th and while I know I should be happy I’m also nervous, because of course this is just to find out if my surgery will be approved. I’ve already printed out my page outlining everything that has happened (and not happened) since May 2023 when this whole knee saga began. Hopefully it won’t be glossed over and dismissed like it was by the trauma guys last October.
To wit my friend Sharon has offered to come with me and be my advocate. Thing is, I’d be an excellent advocate for someone else, I just can’t manage it for myself when I’ve got all the other scary feelings going on. What can I say, hospitals trigger me big time. Anyhow… stay tuned. If it ends up being a simple meniscus repair I could be up and walking again in no time. A replacement would obviously be a longer recovery. And of course in either case I’ll end up going on another waiting list. But first things first.
19 Monday May 2025
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Okay, so maybe not the best image since I AM GOING BALD and would never tear my hair out on purpose… but I mean fuck. No wonder it’s falling out on its own. Remember when I had it all worked out to finally take care of business and find out – in person – why I have been waiting SEVEN MONTHS to see the knee surgeon? And so on my way to my mammogram on Friday, at a new place way out in the middle of nowhere (sorry El Juncal, but you kind of are), I got off the bus and stopped in at the scene of the crime – Fleming Clinic – which was sorta kinda of on the way.
I was directed to the department I should be taking this up, and so that’s what I did. But after a few minutes of looking stuff up on the computer screen the woman at the desk told me… “all I can say is that the appointments being seen to now in the department are from requests made LAST JULY”.
My request was made in October.
And when the woman saw the look on my face she said… “well you know, relatively speaking, it shouldn’t be that far off now”.
I didn’t even know what to say. I asked if this meant I would have to wait another three months and she said “not necessarily”, which could mean anything. Maybe not three months, maybe longer. Remember, this is just to see the surgeon. Who will have to sign off on the surgery. And then I will go on ANOTHER WAITING LIST. Unless the surgeon doesn’t sign off on it and then I am completely fucked. So far I have been finding it very difficult to have doctors take me seriously about this and so it’s hard to hope.