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This morning someone asked on Twitter:
“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”
I knew immediately. I’d be 42 3/4, the age I was when this photo was taken . That is to say, aside from an extra 11+ years and many extra kilos, this is how old I actually feel.
This was also just before my hysterectomy, when my body started to go wonky, and so was probably the last time I ever felt “healthy & whole”. But my mind and my heart still feel as alive and vibrant as that colourful “sangria dress”.
Oh, and this pic was taken at my friend Pablo’s house – there’s no way I’d have those awful gold curtains at casa az! 😉
So, how about you?
casa azahar 
Hmmm – early 30’s I think. Prior to my motorbike accident, back troubles, etc etc. Also while fatherhood was fresh and exciting. Not that fatherhood isn’t exciting now, it is very different though!
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I’d be twenty one again – but only if I knew what I know now!
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Hi HSB and welcome!
That’s the thing, isn’t it? Youth is wasted on the young, and all that. My 21-year-old body was quite a fine machine, but my 21-year-old self was a total wreck. Now it’s rather the opposite…
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Physically can I ever be 45 again and mentally 60 will do; wisdom and calmness with the energy of youth. No, is the answer.
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My flash answer is 50 (because most of what’s happened in my life since my fiftieth birthday has felt kind of like treading water).
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Curiously, since that sangria dress pic was taken, I’ve felt that my physical self has gone way out of control, but the rest keeps getting clearer and feeling more like me… now just have to get the physical and the emotional/intellectual to jive.
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Az, you are simply gorgeous.
As for me, well, I’d like to say 29, perhaps 30. I have no idea why, but that was a time in my life when I was at my best.
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Well, I used to be pretty, back then, but didn’t know it. I look very different now, but still probably better than I will in another 11+ years time… 🙂
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I think I’d be about 28. Which is the age I actually feel, most of the time. I often have to stop and think when someone asks me my age because I don’t feel 39 – neither physically nor psychologically. I actually felt more confident in my twenties than I did throughout my thirties, because of the demoralising effects of depression. And I’m only recently starting to feel the real me re-surface recognisably. Odd also that I’ve essentially got the same hairstyle now (i.e. just long and straight) that I had in my late teens to mid twenties. I’m rejecting the me of the past decade pretty comprehensively!
That photo of you is gorgeous, btw. You have amazing bone structure. 🙂
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Thanks but most of that “amazing bone structure” is now covered up by the extra kilos.
I think that even when I was thirty I felt 42 3/4 but I obviously didn’t know it at the time. I’m kind of the opposite to you – loved my 30s and 40s but you couldn’t pay me enough to go back to my 20s.
Really glad to hear that your real self is coming back. I sure like the sound of your blog posts lately too.
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Funnily enough, Az, that picture is exactly how I see you in my head when I read your posts. That’s because it’s the first pic on your h2g2 friends photo gallery, which you sent me a link to way back in 2005.
I think I’d choose 29. I HATED turning 30, it was so much harder than 40. But then, I met my husband to be when I was 30, I’d like to relive that (especially since I lost him when I was 39). My niece was born 3 weeks after I turned 40, and I would love to relive the way I felt that my heart was going to burst with joy and the awe I felt every time I looked at her. I never “got” babies before Jess! So 40 would be a great age to re-be, but I was also overwhelmed with the sorrow of losing my husband at the same time, so maybe not.
Interesting point to ponder though.
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Interesting question. Right now, I think I may feel my age. (I’m going to be hitting 40 in a couple of months, so I’ve been reflecting on that a lot.) I think I used to feel like I was in my late 20s for most of my 30s. As I haven’t hit 42 3/4, it may well turn out to be a good age for me. I will look forward to it!
That is a beautiful photo of you.
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