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Remember when getting a phone call and having a long chat with a friend was something to cherish? Well, I do. I used to love getting calls and even remember (30-odd years ago in Toronto) staying on the phone with friends while we watched TV “together”. It was something that brought us closer.
These days a telephone call mostly feels like an intrusion. Is it just me? It could be because mobile phones are just not comfy for talking into for any length of time. But in general it’s more that our ways of communicating have changed. With social media text messaging and platforms like WhatsApp (which I LOVE) you can contact someone, share information, even have a chat, without suddenly disrupting whatever the other person happened to be doing. I know that when I see a message come in that someone wants to say something to me, but I also know that I can get to it when I have time to actually pay attention. And sometimes I have quite long WhatsApp text chats with friends lasting up to an hour, but strangely or otherwise, it wouldn’t feel as comfortable if that friend had called me.
Okay, there are times when only a direct phone call will do. Like in case of some sort of emergency. Also, I sometimes get phone calls from possible clients looking for a last minute food tour. And of course when the hospital calls to book appointments – no problem with that. But in general, most things can wait. When I am in the middle of working at home, or out in the street running errands, I really don’t want to stop and switch gears to have a “friendly chat” with someone.
For me the best use of phones these days (other than being my online office when away from home) is to connect with people, send information, make arrangements, even have a friendly text chat. But if you actually want to talk, it is far better to send a quick text message saying… “would love to talk, when would be a good time to call?”.
What do you think? Has phone call etiquette changed over the years or is it just me being a cranky old lady?
I’m glad it’s not just me! I chat to my mum on the phone several times a week, and I check in with my brother most days just to see how the Niblings are doing, but other than that – no thanks! My best friend and I have maintained a constant presence in each other’s lives for years now by texting frequently, we have chats that can go on for days, and neither of us would have it any other way. When we very infrequently get together (I’m in the Midlands of England, she’s in Orkney off the north coast of Scotland) it’s fabulous and like we’ve never been apart, because texting really works as a way of maintaining our intimacy without intruding at the wrong time.
In a similar (but completely different 😀 ) vein, my mum Facetimes my brother every Sunday teatime from Spain, and the rest of the family get together then so we can all join in. It’s realy lessened the impact of her being so far away, and means she can maintain a close relationship with her grandkids despite only seeing them a couple of times a year. Of course, that doesn’t replace a hug, but it’s so much more effective than a phone call.
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I’m with you. I’ve always disliked talking on the phone, even admitting that in the days before texting and so on I was of course excited to get a call from someone I cared about. But once e-mail was invented, I was in heaven. I don’t like being jolted out of whatever I’m doing to change gears even for something desirable, and just the shrilling of the phone raises my blood pressure.I feel on the spot and my mind goes blank and I forget things I meant to say, or I babble. I can’t see the person I’m talking to so all the visual subtext is gone, and that’s a lot of information. And I don’t like being the one that bothers someone else, either. I can put off making a phone call for days if not weeks.
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