Category Archives: casa azahar

back to the ol’ dishwasher

01 Wednesday Apr 2020

Posted by in casa azahar, coronavirus, home

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

, , ,

For those of you who are new to my blog… yes it really is this boring! There is a reason why I slap something up here every day. And of course now I have no excuses since I’m not exactly busy doing other things. But because I’m not doing other things, obviously there are fewer things going on, and less stuff to write about. But that wont’ stop me.   😉

It’s now midway through week three of lockdown and I am back to using my dishwasher which, after a flurry of renewed activity last summer, slipped back to being just a bit of extra storage space. But I’ve been cooking so much that I can actually justify putting it on every couple of days, the only drawback being that I miss out on some extra handwashing opportunities.

I didn’t realise until now just how much I was eating out in tapas bars and so, along with my tours (which also provide a meal for me), I was only cooking at home maybe a couple times a week. So this has also reminded me of how much I love cooking. It’s become the highlight of my day, though to be honest there’s not a lot of competition in that department.

What’s become the highlight of your day?

lockdown day 17: un día más, un día menos

30 Monday Mar 2020

Posted by in casa azahar, coronavirus, home, sevilla

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , ,

This is funny even if you don’t know the original quote (but even funnier if you do). So one more day, one day less. I dunno, it’s kind of getting easier in some ways, though I still don’t know how I’m going to pay my rent on Wednesday. Apparently there’s a moratorium on mortgages, but I don’t know if that will trickle down my way. Fingers crossed! And there may be some kind of government assistance, but it’s unclear how self-employed people will benefit. So far it looks like they are offering a small basic amount and then taking half of it back again by continuing to charge us the 300€ a month for social security. As far as I know, regular employees are getting 75% of their usual income. So um… thanks?

Today I sent in my final writing assignment, which I had kept putting off and putting off, until I couldn’t put if off anymore. And I finally know why… at least until now I felt like I had work to do. Feeling a bit bereft at the moment. Not sure what I’ll do tomorrow if I’m not spending the day putting off my writing assignment. What’s going to motivate me to do all those C List activities?

How are you guys holding up?

lockdown day 12: all that cancer training paid off

25 Wednesday Mar 2020

Posted by in cancer, casa azahar, coronavirus, sevilla

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

So okay, since lockdown on March 14th I’ve been out of the house twice, both times for supermarket runs and to take out the rubbish (with all the cooking I’ve been doing and the CAT SAND, I can’t leave it longer than that). But each time I’ve felt like I was dodging bullets. Even though my closest supermarket has been taking great care with protecting both its staff and customers I feel extra vulnerable due to, well MY AGE, and also as I’ve mentioned before, the autoimmune shit going on due to previous stage 4 cancer & chemo.

Meanwhile, of course I miss my old life. I miss my work, my friends, being able to make a living. And I really miss my 10,000 step walks along the river and through the city. And then I hear people saying they can’t live without getting outside for their daily run or a bit of fresh air. Well, you know what? Of course you fucking CAN. You just don’t want to.

Maybe it’s my previous experience with having had stage 4 cancer and being twice on chemo, and having 4 major abdominal operations that pretty much robbed me of a year and a half of my life… I learned that when someone tells me to stay home, I fucking stay home. I don’t think, “oh but I want my old life back” and defy the orders, not to mention the odds. Because when you have stage 4 cancer there is no guarantee that you will ever get your old life back again, or any life at all.

There was also the fact that I felt like death warmed over most of the time, so going out wasn’t really that appealing anyhow. But I did ALWAYS wish I could go out again. And then one day I could. In fact the one time I defied the rules and went out too soon after my final operation in 2011… blam! hernia! Nobody to blame but myself.

So while, yeah, I’m going a bit stir crazy and of course I’d love to be outside in the spring sunshine, all of that, I also find myself going into self-protective mode, hunkering down, waiting for this to pass. With the feeling of having been here before, I know what it’s like, and I know I can deal with it. Back then, with the whole cancer thing, I didn’t have hope per se, but I perservered. One day at a time, not knowing what the final outcome would be.

Well guess what? There really was no actual final outcome other than somehow I didn’t die, and somehow I am still here long after I was told I wouldn’t be. So about this coronavirus? Same deal. Except instead of it just happening to me it’s happening to all of us.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve already had the experience of having had my life put on hold, with little or no guarantee that things would get better. This time I’m doing it with all you guys. Stay healthy… and stay home! We can do this. xx