Category Archives: health & happiness

admission day

21 Sunday Sep 2008

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hospitals, life stuff

≈ 37 Comments

I’m checking into hospital this afternoon at 6 pm. After all the waiting and upset and fears, the time has finally come.  I’m actually feeling okay about it all – much calmer than I was even a few days ago. I guess there’s a sense of just being resigned to going through with it now, especially as there isn’t anything I can do about it – I need to have this surgery and that’s that.

It also really helped having a chat yesterday with friend and neighbour Becky (who runs this fabulous bookshop across the street from casa az ). She’s been through the cancer thing twice now, once for each breast, and she has a very pragmatic view of things that I found I could really relate to. Somehow I felt much better after talking with her.

Nog will be coming with me when I check in (and will also be staying over tonight – in case I start to panic we can always have a game of scrabble to keep my mind off things), and Pipocas is going to stop by after I get unpacked and settled in.

I sure hope I get a room with the new furniture I saw them moving in over the summer – really cool-looking modern beds just like in House! Last time I had a depressing circa 1940’s bed with chipped enamel paint and a hand crank, so I had to rely on passing nurses  or visitors to adjust my bed for me. These new ones look to be fully automated and they also have a pulley gizmo, which will make getting into and out of bed much easier. So fingers crossed on that one. I also hope I get a reasonably polite roommate who won’t have the television blaring all day long. It occurred to me that out of the four roommates I had during my last hospital stay not one of them ever took out a book, or even a magazine, to read. Amazing.

Well, time to finish organising and packing up all the stuff I’ll be taking with me: mobile phone, iPod, camera, laptop, DVDs, books, travel scrabble game, notebook, pens, toiletries, bottled water, dressing gown, slippers … wish me luck!!!

the scar

13 Saturday Sep 2008

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness

≈ 16 Comments

the scar

Yeah I know, it ain’t exactly nursemyra, but I thought some of you might like to see The Scar and I didn’t want too much of my belly showing, so it had to be a ‘lingerie shot’ with my trusty dressing gown. My left hand is covering up a couple inches of the scar at the bottom, but you get the general idea. It’s BIG. And the next one will be about the same size except horizontal and J-shaped, below my right ribs.

Oh, and check out them fingernails!  😉

please take off the kid gloves

12 Friday Sep 2008

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, life stuff

≈ 28 Comments

Over the past couple of months there has been a tendency for people to either avoid talking to me about their problems, or else they stop themselves in mid-whinge and apologise because my problems are clearly so much more serious than theirs.

I honestly don’t see it that way. And when people handle me with kid gloves it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. Well, I mean, other than the obvious (the cancer, not personal weirdness f_winkeye.gif ). It creates a barrier somehow. As if, just because I have a serious health problem, I have lost my ability to sympathise and, more importantly, empathise with others. Which is not the case at all.

It’s lonely enough at times, being here and dealing with the chemo and my fears and all that. So I just want to say that it feels good when people treat me like I’m still a ‘whole person’ because it makes me feel like I still belong and that I haven’t been separated and confined to some isolated place surrounded by eggshells.

I know this is done out of thoughtfulness and caring, but if you really do care about me then you’ll let me still care about you too … okay? If I’m ever feeling overwhelmed and unable to listen properly then I’ll let you know.  Deal?  f_hug.gif

going under the knife…

11 Thursday Sep 2008

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hospitals

≈ 24 Comments

. . . on Monday 22 September

A couple of nights ago I got a call from Isabel (one of The Team) asking me if I had a date for the liver resection, and I told her nobody had called me yet. She said she thought that was strange because when they had spoken to the head of surgery on my behalf the week before they were told the surgery was going to be ‘very soon’ and Isabel thought this meant it would be this coming Monday, the 15th.

All of a sudden I panicked because, although I have really enjoyed and appreciated these past chemo-free ten days, it just seemed too soon to go back into hospital. I didn’t feel ready for it. So I told Isabel that I really hoped it would be scheduled for the 22nd and she said she’d call them again and get back to me. Which she did yesterday morning and I was very relieved when she told me the date (and I wondered if she had anything to do with it). In any case, I reckon the infected wrist would have kept me from having surgery this Monday, but I am pleased to have another ten days of ‘holidays’.

Unlike last time I can prepare for this operation, both emotionally and practically. The practical stuff is obviously easier; for example I’m going to get my hair cut quite short next week so it’s less hassle, plus I’m making a list of all the things I know I’ll want and need while I’m there (about 2 weeks, I’ve been told). The emotional stuff is going to require more work, though Nog has said he’ll stay with me the first night (I’ll be ‘checking in’ the evening before the op) which will help a lot. I can imagine us still up and playing scrabble at 3 in the morning …

Any other ideas for ’emotional prep’?

operation info (2)

02 Tuesday Sep 2008

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hospitals

≈ 19 Comments

I just want to know WHEN!!! Is that too much to ask?

So, part two of ‘Carry On Cancer’, as Sara likes to call it. Back in July I was told that my liver operation would be in September, because of there being not many surgeons around during summer holidays in August. In fact, I was told that the op would probably be in the first half of September and that I would be notified by telephone. And well, here it is the 2nd of September and I still have no idea when they are going to slice and dice my poor liver . . .

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