Category Archives: hospitals

waiting…

17 Monday Nov 2008

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, hospitals

≈ 7 Comments

waiting

So there’s not much to do but wait.

Nog left awhile ago to go home and shower, snibble the cats and make some sandwiches for later – he should be back in a couple of hours. My roommate María went off to have her operation done about an hour ago. I sure hope we both end up back in the same room after we’re done as we really are a hospital match made in heaven. I heard her talking to someone on her mobile last night, saying how lucky she was to have me as a roommate. She’s happy with her iPod and book and, thanks to Pipocas, I have internet here so I can happily while away the hours online or reading.

I’m feeling a lot more relaxed today, possibly due to having slept very well.  I should get the name of the sleeping pills they gave us last night. María was already asleep when the nurse came and so he had to wake her up so she could take her sleeping pill (duh). Anyhow, I woke up feeling very well rested and saw Nog, who was still fast asleep in the reclining chair beside me.

The Team came to visit me first thing this morning and said that, as I’m up second, this could happen any time after 11am, even though I’m scheduled for 3pm. The sooner the better. I don’t mind not being able to eat (last meal was lunch yesterday) but I also can’t drink any water, which is hard for me. I usually drink 2-3 litres a day. Also, the smell of coffee wafting in from the food trolley is making me drool. Ah well…

Time for some scrabble, I think.

It’s very nice knowing you guys are out there, wishing me well. 🙂

hospital check in…

16 Sunday Nov 2008

Posted by in cancer, friends, hospitals, life stuff

≈ 29 Comments

Checking in this afternoon around 6 pm.

Unlike the last time I won’t be bringing all my stuff at once. I had shown up with everything I’d packed for the week (mobile phone, iPod, camera, laptop, DVDs, books, travel scrabble game, notebook, pens, toiletries, bottled water, dressing gown, slippers…) only to be told that, depending on how long I spent in the ICU, I might be moved to another room afterwards. So Nog had to drag everything with him to the waiting room. As it turned out, they didn’t complete the operation and I didn’t spend any time in the ICU, but I’m hoping for better results this time. And so today I think I’ll just bring a book and travel scrabble. Nog can bring the other stuff on Tuesday, once I’m settled into a definite room for the week.

If anything I’m even more scared than last time. I’ve tried to be reasonable and logical about it, but I’m just terrified about leaving my home today and never coming back. I was lying in bed this morning with Azar in my arms and tears streaming down my cheeks, thinking it might be our last cuddle together. He always comes for a cuddle just before I go to sleep and after I wake up. No matter how I try to distract myself, my mind keeps going to dark places. It’s pretty awful.

I think it’s going to be a long day …

green

09 Sunday Nov 2008

Posted by in cancer, food & drink, health & happiness, hospitals

≈ 15 Comments

My, doesn’t this look healthy!

Yep, I’m ‘going green’ this week in an attempt to help prepare my poor old bod for the upcoming major surgery (third one since May) in which they will slice & dice my liver and maybe hack off bits of my peritonaea.  I really should have had that zipper installed. I’m assuming they will just reopen the scar from the last op, otherwise my middle section is going to start looking like a road map. Perhaps I should take another scar shot before I go in so I can have before & after pics …

Anyhow, I feel quite positive about doing a healthy ‘detox’ week and I’m hoping that it will mean less hospital time if I go in feeling physically strong. So it’ll be mostly low fat meals this week with lots of veg (especially broccoli), and I’ll also start making my fruit purée again.  Plus I’ll keep taking daily walks and riding the dreaded exercise bike. AND I’ll be drinking lots of green tea (with the occasional glass of f_redwine.gif which is, according to the Anti-cancer book that healingmagichands sent me, a natural anti-inflammatory).

Right, time to get cooking …f_chef

third time lucky?

07 Friday Nov 2008

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hospitals

≈ 31 Comments

slot-machine

So, there was another clinical session held yesterday and the decision is that I’m going to have a third operation, as soon as possible. Although the tumours in my liver have disappeared (or don’t appear on either the CT or PET scans) apparently it is prudent to remove surrounding tissue from where they were. The two spots on the peritonaea may also be removed. It’s not clear from the PET what they are, but Ricardo thinks they are most likely scar tissue from peritoneal tumours that were killed off during my two months of chemo.

I have an appointment with the surgeon on Tuesday so I will get more information about the operation then. I’m hoping they’ll just be removing small segments of my liver rather than an entire lobe.

Anyhow … this is good news! I’ll have to do more chemo once I’ve recovered from the liver resection, so there is still a long road ahead of me, but at least now I can see some light at the end of the tunnel (yeah I know, mixing my metaphors – so sue me).

Time to break open the f_bubbly.gif that zoomer left for us!

(well, a bit later on today …)

predicting the future

06 Thursday Nov 2008

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, hospitals, video

≈ 11 Comments

crystallball

Back in August my friend raincoaster sent me an email telling me about a very strong psychic premonition she’d had about my situation. Here is what she wrote …

The premonition:

You are in for a two-year haul, but at the end of it, you live. Some of it will be beautiful and joyful, but a lot of it, quite frankly, will be shitty, and battening down the hatches economically would be a good idea. And emotionally, you can and should rely on your friends. They are solid people and will be there for you. The shitty part is, sometimes you will wonder if it’s worth it. Only you can say, of course, but know that you are loved and if nothing else know that your continuing existence is a way to honour that. And if you bear through it, you will come out triumphant if winded in the end.

I’m still waiting for Ricardo to call with Tuesday’s PET scan results, so let’s see how close he comes to Rain’s premonition. There will probably be another clinical session to decide on the next prognosis & treatment, but at least Ricardo will be able to give me an idea as to whether this will include more surgery or just (just – ha!) more chemo. I feel like I’ll be able to focus better (better – ha!) once I know what the next plan of action is going to be. Strangely or otherwise, I don’t feel as worried as I have at other times. Of course I am hoping for the best possible results but, according to what Ricardo told Pipocus and I the other day, even the worst possible scenario would still give me a fighting chance.

And speaking of test results, I’m really hoping that Sara (aka strangelittleangel) gets the all-clear after her tests today. Thinking about you honey!f_hug.gif

Oh, and you can see a short home-movie showing a bit of the Nuclear Medicine department (with a glimpse of Ricardo!) over here … PET scan.

Catch you later – Carmen has just invited me out for lunch. f_redwine.gif