So I not only get NERVOUS about travelling, I also get a bit panicky about GETTING EVERYTHING DONE… to wit, got my hair cut! Though as you can see by this selfie taken in the lift at my house yesterday, still have to touch up those grey roots. Also need a pedicure, have to sort out wardrobe (thinking it won’t be so warm there) and organise all the work stuff re: tours, etc. I’ll be taking my little travel pc notebook with me, but hope to have the most important things taken care of before I leave.

I’ve been almost at the point of cancelling the whole thing a few times, thinking I’d only lose the airfare, then could focus on work, since I’m not really financially in a good place for a week abroad. Of course staying at Nicola’s is what makes this even remotely possible, but London is an expensive city and blah-blah-blah…

But the REAL reason I’m hesitating is that I’m afraid of being afraid… remembering that day in Trafalgar Square a few years ago when I was hit out of the blue with a full-blown panic attack. The first I’d had since CANCER. Because frankly, when you have cancer, panic attacks can go fuck themselves. So it not only took me by surprise, but it also took over a bit. I got scared about going out, in case it happened again, that vicious circle that almost guarantees it WILL happen again.

So far I’m still going. Updates as they happen…