Tag Archives: health

broken hearted

18 Friday Jun 2021

Posted by in health & happiness, hospitals

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broken hearted

I almost hesitate to write this as I know it’s really going to rile up Kate (aka Sledpress) but since my Medical Check List post I thought things were going rather well. Until this morning. After the blood test and ECG results came in my GP requested appointments for me to see a cardiologist and a dermatologist (for my going bald issue) and meanwhile oncology finally got in touch and I have another CT scan on Monday. Today I had the cardiologist at 9 AM, so I was up and out and in a taxi (in the rain) hoping to find something out. Alas… nope. They gave me another ECG when I got to the hospital and then I waited to see the doctor, who ended up remembering me from an appointment several years ago (I didn’t remember her, maybe that was my first mistake).

Anyhoodle, she acted very wary… saying I shouldn’t sit too close to her desk, telling me to turn my head away from her when she listened on the stethoscope. I mean, I get it. She is surrounded by possible sick people all day long, but she truly had no “bedside manner”. And worst of all was that she simply didn’t listen to me.

My reasons for being there were the following: I am short of breath almost always these days, I get that “tight skin” feeling in my arms when I stand up too quickly  (and sometimes also feel a bit dizzy), I also sometimes have tightness in my chest (never actually got to tell her that bit) and, yes, the tachycardia keeps happening. ASSUMPTION was that I was there once again about the tachycardia, but I wasn’t. This is something I’ve had since I was 25 and NO DOCTOR has ever been able to find out why. So I was there because it’s increasingly harder for me to breathe and I get a “tight” pain in my arms and fingers, there’s also a tightness across my lower ribs. Did she listen to me? Did she fuck.
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just breathe, eh?

17 Thursday Jun 2021

Posted by in health & happiness

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4 7 8

I’ve always had this problem. I never breathe enough. Or deeply enough. In fact sometimes I catch myself barely breathing at all, just short shallow panting, and I only become aware of that when I start to feel weird, either physically or emotionally. Then I have to stop and take a few deep breaths.

I’m sure most of you have now heard of the 4-7-8 breathing technique, meant to relax, help you sleep, and even do nice things to your body’s wellbeing. I tried it awhile back and actually couldn’t do it (!). I kept panicking while exhaling for 8 seconds. Then I tried it again this morning and it was like… I’ve GOT this! So I am going to try doing it a couple of times a day, and especially when I wake up in the night.

If you don’t know how it works, here you go. Apparently your tongue should be resting against the roof of your mouth, on the ridge behind your front teeth.

  1. empty the lungs of air.
  2. breathe in quietly through the nose for 4 seconds.
  3. hold the breath for a count of 7 seconds.
  4. exhale forcefully through the mouth, pursing the lips and making a “whoosh” sound, for 8 seconds.
  5. repeat the cycle up to 4 times.

I don’t know why they say you shouldn’t do this more than four times in a row, but apparently you can work yourself up to eight times. Worth a shot. Anyone else doing this?

adiós coliflor!

01 Monday Feb 2021

Posted by in cancer, food & drink, health & happiness, hospitals

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coliflor

Unless it’s prepared like this. I feel a bit like Sherlock Holmes and also grateful for having most of my life (including meals) up somewhere on the ol’ internets, because I think I have solved a mystery that’s been plaguing me for at least five years and probably more. So okay, getting to the point (and be forewarned, this is probably going to be really boring so don’t feel obliged, but I want the info here for future reference)…

After that last emergency op in August 2011 things didn’t heal as well as after the previous three cancer ops, which I think was in part my fault. I was extra impatient about being in hospital AGAIN and I remember begging the surgeon to let me go home on the Friday (the op had been on Monday, and we’re talking major abdominal surgery). I just wanted to be back home with the cats and sleep in my own bed and couldn’t bear the thought of spending the whole weekend in hospital (they only discharge people on weekdays). Well, turns out I should have stayed in because after promising the doctor that I’d “be good”, I really wasn’t. I didn’t wear my “faja” all the time at home (it was August and too hot), and I was out and about more than I should have been. The result was that I ended up with an umbilical hernia as well as the usual post-op adhesions. What’s this got to do with cauliflower you ask?
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world mental health day

10 Saturday Oct 2020

Posted by in health & happiness

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Hey, it’s World Mental Health Day folks! That means that for the other 3 out of 4 of you… well, I guess we have to remind you about it. Again.

Yeah, I get it. Was the same when I had cancer. Makes people uncomfortable, they end up saying inappropriate and sometimes hurtful things, and so we end up not saying much either, even when feeling just a little bit understood would make all the difference.

And hey, not really your fault guys, since we are all conditioned to not show the cracks, to keep a stiff upper lip, to appear NORMAL at all costs.

But you know what? Sometimes that costs too much.

Last time I “opened up” to someone about the shitty time I was experiencing one day a couple of months ago their response was that I should talk to a professional. So I’ve pretty much buttoned up since then. Well, except for here. I can say whatever I want here, which is the whole point of this blog.

All my adult life (since I left home at 15) I have heard this…
“But you always look so strong and calm”.

Well guess what? It’s called a coping mechanism.

For those of you who know what this is like, how it feels to be told this, remember that you’re not alone. And that asking for help is not weakness (I’m still working on that last one).

It’s only been recently (post cancer) that I’ve been able to admit to suffering from chronic, sometimes crippling, anxiety, even though it’s been with me since I was a child growing up in an abusive home. I’m still not doing great with it, should probably be doing things better, but today I am doing this. Letting you know you are not alone. Just keep talking.   ❤