… the world changed. That was the day when Spain officially shut down due to Covid. I’d just got back from what would be my last trip anywhere for almost two years. I remember back then they told us that the lockdown would be for “at least two weeks” and I was worried about losing the next couple of busy months of tapas tours. Little did I know I wouldn’t work again for a year and a half.

Since then a lot has changed. We got vaccines in early 2021 (yay!) and happily the majority of the Spanish population was lining up for theirs. Same with the first and second boosters. But the most recent one here (last Oct-Nov) wasn’t so openly received, though it seemed like most still went with the flu jab. No, I don’t get it either.

Well I guess I do kind of get it. Covid totally fucked up everyone’s lives, with the exception of those it outright killed who didn’t have to worry about it anymore. During lockdown and the months that followed the rest of us were left in a state of fear and disbelief that this was even happening, but we got on board to do what we could to help. We stayed home, we wore masks during the times we were allowed to go out, we took care, not only for ourselves and family but also for our friends, our neighbours.

Aside from the devastating lack of income (and no govt support), lockdown wasn’t so hard because I had the internet, I was still connected to many people I love, and I would go up on my roof (music earbuds in) and walk and walk around like a hamster in a wheel, not just to get some exercise but also some much needed sunshine. And then we finally started “opening up”…

At first this meant bars and restaurants could open during shortened hours, at first only outdoors, then at reduced capacity indoors. And everyone was required to wear masks in all shops, public transport. And everyone did! You kidding? They had seen the mass graves, the refrigerator semi-trailers and other makeshift spaces being used as emergency morgues… they’d also lost loved ones dying a horrible death alone without being able to be there to comfort them. So of course we were all doing whatever it took to get through this TOGETHER.

Then in the summer of 2020 things started to change. Although international borders were not fully reopened, people started travelling again. Cautiously at first, then with more confidence. And THEN with the absolute conviction that they were entitled to have their summer holiday goddammit. It got worse from then on… even before vaccines were available people started demanding their “rights” and suddenly stopped giving a shit about those who were sick and still dying at a terrifying rate. Because they not only needed their holiday, it was due to them.

What can I say? I finally got back to work in September 2021 after receiving the first two shots of the vaccine. So I cautiously got back out there. But of course then came December 2021 and Omicron so I shut my biz down again for a couple of months to wait out the deadly “Christmas Chaos”. Meanwhile, ever since Covid mitigations, and mask mandates, etc I had not even had a cold since 2019. But then I finally ended up getting Covid in October 2022 and… dammit just two weeks before I was scheduled to have the next updated booster.

My flatmate Peter had already caught the virus in May 2022, tested positive the day I was about to leave on a work trip to Barcelona so I kind of dodged a bullet that time. Told him to keep all the balcony doors open, keep on his mask as much as possible and I’d see him in five days. I didn’t catch it. Nor did I catch it when he got Covid again in May 2023… again we isolated as much as possible, with Peter in his room masked-up, all the balcony doors open, etc. Likewise he didn’t get Covid when I had it as we took similar precautions. Just saying… it can be done. And of course when one of us at home had Covid and the other didn’t WE BOTH ISOLATED until we saw two negative tests in a row. The non-covid person did pop out for essential shopping, fully masked etc but that was it.

Now four years on it’s hard to even remember when people actually cared about each other during that brief lockdown time. What with all the fake news and false info surrounding SARS-CoV-2 (including that they denied from the beginning that Covid was related to Sars) us folk that actually still believe in science are left just going WTF??

Yes it’s fucking airborne, yes the initial infection (thanks to vaccines) probably won’t kill you now, yes it attaches itself to ALL your organs forever and NO… nobody is less vulnerable than anyone else.

I think the best trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people that ONLY so-called vulnerable people were at risk from Covid. And we all know who those fucking devils are. They counted on people’s innate selfishness (and were not disappointed), they fed into their fears, they created the “us and them” scenario that destroyed any chance of actually ridding the world of the virus. Because the economy comes first.

First hand I had a GP here tell me not to worry because Covid was now just like getting a cold. My blood ran cold and that’s when I realised we are on our own here. Government health agencies have been bought and paid for, we are no longer given any honest reports on Covid infections and deaths. They’re not even testing people for Covid anymore and the latest CDC crap is telling people to go back to work (without testing!) if you’re feeling better the day after a fever.

I realise that I take a lot of risks because of my work, but I also take a lot of precautions. Somewhere in the middle I hope there is some balance. I still wear masks on all public transport, in shops… but not when I am in tapas bars as that’s my job (though I always look for a spot near an open window). And other than the time I got Covid in October 2022 I have not had one cold or any other respiratory illness since well before March 2020, when we started wearing masks and being careful. Remember? Back when it felt like we all cared about each other.

Anyhow… four years on. I don’t even know what to think or how to feel anymore. Do you?