I’m no stranger to pain, what with my dodgy back and all (have had seriously painful sciatica/lumbago episodes since I was 22). And when I had a hysterectomy in December 1999 I experienced a totally different sort of pain. But I have to say that this latest operation has opened up a whole new world of pain to me.
The main thing I noticed while I was lying in my hospital bed was how isolating pain is. The whole rest of the world disappears and all that exists is a pain-wracked body that you happen to be attached to. This is accompanied by fear and an awful sense of helplessness … but again it all comes down to you you you.
I hated that. And I still hate it on bad pain days (like yesterday) when absolutely everything else stops mattering. All you want is for the bloody pain to stop. And all the recently made resolutions to be a better person and focus on what really matters go right out the window. No chance for positive thinking as thinking in any clear manner at all becomes impossible. It’s a very lonely place to be.
What are some of your experiences with PAIN?
casa azahar 
In my experiences with real pain, one of few positive side efffects has been the way time changes.
I was in a lot of discomfort with the first episode of gallstones that I had – I spent a day not knowing what to do with myself, but I would have expected that day to be interminable. As it was, I simply took it in very small amounts of time, and it passed much more quickly (at least it seems that way now) than I would have imagined.
It is also different, I think, if you go into hospital to have something done to you, where you know the recovery will be painful – you can use it to help measure your recovery.
Long term debilitating pain can really diminish a person. I watched my father suffer increasing amounts of pain from a hip problem. It aged him tremendously. Once he had a “Birmingham hip” resurfacing operation, he seemed many years younger, grew a coule of inches and was much more youthful. He now skis again! At 70.
LikeLike
*ugh* i get migraines. and it really pisses me off when people refer to a headache as a migraine when they are still walking around doing stuff because if they really had one they’d be in a foetal postion on the floor – too sick to pull themselves up and into bed.
I’ve heard cluster headaches are even worse but thankfully I don’t get those.
azahar, sorry you’re enduring so much pain. please don’t be too stoic about it. tell your doctor and get some meds to help you while you work towards full recovery
LikeLike
i’ve been pretty fortunate – not having too many issues with physical pain (used to get cluster migraines occasionally). my observation is that i mercifully block memories of pain at some point after i’m through it… please listen to the good nursemyra – if you need help with medication to manage the pain more effectively, call for drugs! Screw stoicism… you need rest to recover and the pain is gonna screw that up!
LikeLike
Like Az, pain has been a part of my life for many years now and there are several types of it.
The first I have experienced is chronic low-grade pain from from my decaying knees. I have this 24/7 and for the first couple of years I found it quite debilitating. Then I decided to just work through it, to carry on living despite it. I gave up on all the painkillers the dear NHS prescribed for me (I was chewing dyhydrocodeine/vicodin like sweeties to no avail). The side-effects were worse than just accepting the pain.
Then there are the acute episodes of joint or sciatic pain, usually as a result of the pursuing the strategy above. These really knock you over, and every action becomes a battle between you and the desire to swear and punch things. When these happen I usualy stop and try to sleep.
Again pain meds have proved short lived in their usefulness, and now I rely on a muscle relaxant to let me get to sleep – namely vin rouge or single malt.
Finally this year I have experienced something that dwarfs all those above – cluster migraines.
As myra says all you can do is ball up and wait for it to pass. There’s no working through it. I am now on preventative meds and carry Imigran with me everywhere. The slightest blurring of vision or flash of head pain and I’m self-medicating like an addict.
I lost a week to the first cluster and four days to the second. The worst thing is that as you emerge from one of the cluster you cannot be sure you are not about to descend into hell again, it’s a bit like that nasty feeling of deja vu you get as a major muscle cramp eases.
All I can recommend to you Az is to find distractions, things that pass the time even if they don’t relieve the pain. Friends are a key here – for having someone to talk to can be a godsend. It also breaks the feeling of isolation and it tires you out so… you can find sleep. Try to spend as much time there as possible. Anything to fill the time until you recover.
Good luck Az, I am thinking of you.
LikeLike
I’ve had plenty of experience with pain of all kinds, Az, but don’t know that describing the details of my experiences would be helpful to you (or anyone). What I know for certain is that I will never again either succumb to pain, or try to escape from it. I’m afraid that’s the best I can offer, other than to say I understand, and sympathize, and hope that your pain is short-lived.
I also send you much love.
p.s. – check your email 🙂
LikeLike
I say it’s the migraines, but my recent experiences with back issues due to a fractured vertebrae and ruptured disk are eye-opening.
LikeLike
I know what you mean about the pain, az. While in hospital after my bypass, I found that everything seemed to contract into a pinpoint of reality when it got really bad.
As for meds, I thought the morphine was useless, but the vicodin worked well enough that I didn’t feel like I was trying to connect with the world from the bottom of the ocean. I *hate* that disconnected feeling!
Only migraine I ever had preceded a stroke by about 4 hours…but *major* pain. Hope to never go through that again!
LikeLike
I deal with people who have chronic pain every day. I have not had to experience a lot of pain in my life, only a couple of bouts with a psoas in spasm with a side order of sciatica. I believe that I was given those episodes in order for me to have some (very small) concept of what it is like for my massage clients who live in chronic pain states, who have fibromyalgia, or rhematoid arthritis, or a bad back. After going through those few days of intense pain, it gave me much more compassion for those people who land on my table. I honestly don’t understand how some people manage to keep on in their day to day life with the level of pain they are experiencing. Seeing them, touching them, giving them some relief — all these things have made me count my blessings.
I am so sorry you are experiencing so much pain; I’m with Nursemyra here. It is important to find something that can ease your pain so that you can relax enough to heal. I hope that the right analgesic comes your way soon. I will be thinking of you.
LikeLike
Yeah, that was the ‘isolation’ thing I was talking about, SC. It was awful. Like that’s all you were and nothing else existed.
I can’t even begin to imagine what a migraine would feel like, and I hope I never find out.
I don’t know how you just ‘accept the pain’, Craig, but I agree that painkillers seem limited as to what they can do unless they are so strong that they start causing other problems.
I’ve gone up to the full daily dosage of mine and that seems to be helping. Also, I think (I hope!) it’s just that the pain is lessening each day. At any rate, I’m more comfortable now than I was a couple of days ago.
LikeLike
hooray!
LikeLike
I can only look on with admiration. I have been lucky in not having severe pain as a life companion. I have had muscle strains and other sporting injuries which hurt at the time but each has receded into the past. Hmm – except for crumbling knees which do hurt at inconvenient moments.
LikeLike
Glad to hear it’s getting better Az, and that the meds are working. I hope they continue to do so!
My abdomen pains can knock me out, send me scuttlind for bed. Really completely takes the wind out of my sails and ruins the whole day.
LikeLike
Hi Az,
With this episode behind you you have the prospect of returning to a certain level of ‘normality’ and you must focus on that.
As for ‘accepting the pain’ well I had a choice really – let the pain rule my life, or just get on with and accept sometimes it will hurt more than at others.
Besides I have young children who expect their Dad to do all the usual things with them, and so I do, and pay the piper later.
As I get older I realise that I am not alone in this. Practically everyone in my generation is suffering from some ailment or several. There are those who collapse under it and those who, when the fox gnaws, grit their teeth and smile and carry on. We are not brave, just too damned ornery to give in easily.
One phrase I say to myself as I surf the peaks and troughs of pain is “I am Spartan!”. It brings a smile to my lips and makes me feel heroic, if only for an instant, and hopefully long enough for me to do the things I must.
Blessings,
Craig the Spartan 😉
LikeLike
So happy to know you are feeling better, Az.
LikeLike
I have not had much experience with pain related to medical ailments, touch wood. However, the pain of extracting both feet from my mouth is isolated and usually lasts a couple of days.
LikeLike
I’ve been very lucky, healthwise, and have been spared any long-lasting or acute physical pain thus far. But I’ve felt some pretty agonising mental and emotional pain, so maybe that counts.
I can only imagine what it must feel like for you, and send you the most sympathetic and positive healing-type vibes that I can.
Really hope the pain doesn’t last. You’re being an inspiration and it looks like there are many people who are wishing you well and thinking of you, myself among them 🙂
LikeLike
Mrs Noggin
My Lady
You are requested AND required to Get Well with utmost despatch
I hope Master Noggin is not getting too thin, consequent upon deprivation of your famous Cooking
I remain your obedient servant and
Alles Gute
G Eagle
LikeLike