Yeah I know, but . . .

This really isn’t as reckless and frivolous as it may first appear. At least let me explain before you decide. Yesterday I had to take my Sexy Beast to computer hospital because of the fracture problem I told you about earlier. At the time I wondered how the hell I would manage without a computer at home for the month or so that SB would be gone, especially as Nog’s laptop had died awhile back. On the way home that day I stopped by the computer section of the store and saw this very basic Toshiba on special offer, and after that I went home and did some research…

Okay, justifications first. I don’t just use my computer to check my email, blog a bit and otherwise faff around on the internet. Yes, in a lot of ways it is my personal lifeline and connection to friends, but I actually LIVE on my computer almost all day long, doing all sorts of things. And, as some of you know, I’ve also been working very hard trying to set up a couple of websites so that I can start generating a bit of income, because the English classes just aren’t happening at the moment. So for me, having a computer at home is an invaluable work tool as well as my way of feeling connected to the rest of the world.

Next, this little Toshiba L300 (15″ screen, just over 2 kilos) has amazing specs for the price. It has 4GBs of RAM and a 250GB harddrive memory, as well as a built-in webcam and microphone. All this for 500 euros. Which is an amazing deal, especially when I had previously been considering getting one of these for the same price to use as a sort of mobile work station. Of course, back then I was also expecting to have more English classes and hadn’t expected a cancer recurrence so soon … but in a way that makes it even more necessary to start lining up work I can do from home. And all of that will require having a computer here.

And so last week I bit the bullet, dusted off my credit card and bought Shadow (charcoal grey and definitely a “he”). I know it was the right decision even though I don’t really know where next month’s rent is coming from. Because in fact, some of it might be coming from a recent idea I had to do half-hour conversation classes using Skype & webcam, for students who are too busy to go to regular classes but would still like to practice their English. I plan on setting this up next week and calling some of my “too busy” ex-students and ask if they want to give it a try. And raincoaster might also have some work for me soon doing on line blogging classes, which sound very interesting.

When SB gets home from hospital (hopefully repaired on warranty – the jury is still out on that one) she will resume her place in my little work corner and will also be hooked up to a flat screen monitor that Susan gave me awhile back when she was doing an office cleanout. I think it will be helpful having both screens to check photos before putting them up on Sevilla Tapas (or anywhere) as I don’t get much contrast on the laptop screen. She will probably become the “house computer” (that Nog will also use sometimes) and Shadow will be my mobile work station. Definitely a better solution than getting one of those eensy PCs. And as much putting such a big charge on my credit card at this time felt kind of scary (slippery slope and all that) it’s also a risk I felt was worth taking.

I guess if I had to I could always give up my yoga classes in order to make the monthly Visa payments, but I’m hoping that things are going to pick up in the next month or so. The thing is, since the recurrence I am now looking at having to totally restructure my life and, while I hope to have some nice long remissions in my future, the fact remains that I’m not always going to be able to work like I did before I got sick. Which is why I’m trying to find ways of working around my illness. Or rather, incorporating it into a new lifestyle that will become my new “normal”. And in this new life of mine, having a computer at home is no longer a luxury. Aside from all that, I must say that it’s quite a relief not to be left computerless right now.

~ azahar… goddess of tapas, snibbles and justifications