Category Archives: books & writing

a nasty case of the vapours

25 Tuesday Mar 2008

Posted by in books & writing, health & happiness

≈ 14 Comments

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Why heroines die in classic fiction

To read classic fiction is to know that if the heroine gets wet, a swift descent into brain fever and death bed scenes is assured within a chapter or so.

But, dear reader, have you ever wondered what was actually wrong with these swooning creatures?

For, I confess, part of me has always longed to grab them and say: “You only got your slippers wet. For heaven’s sake, girl, just get a grip!”

I’ve also wondered what exactly the vapours were and why women used to swoon so much back then. Was it simply a plot device? Why do you think modern-day heroines don’t get the vapours? Is this a medical or psychological phenomenon? Or maybe a bit of both?

page 123

26 Tuesday Feb 2008

Posted by in books & writing, me-me's

≈ 15 Comments

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Aaarr, I be tagged by th’ saucy wench alejna , begad!

  1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)
  2. Open the book to page 123
  3. Find the 5th sentence
  4. Post the next three sentences
  5. Tag 5 people

The nearest book is here on my bedside table – The Rebel Angels by Robertson Davies, which I am presently rereading. I happen to be on page 124 at the moment so I just read this bit last night before falling asleep with the lamp on and the book in my hands. Okay here goes. . .

‘Poshrat!‘ she screamed again, and spat in my face. This was a scene we had played many times in our life together, my Mother and I, and I knew better than to try to wipe away the spittle. It was something that had to be endured, and in the end it would probably work out as I wished.

The Rebel Angels is book one of The Cornish Trilogy . An excellent read.

And now, at the risk of alejna making me walk th’ plank aaarr, rather than tagging 5 people I’ll make this a self-tagging ‘me-me’.

Let us know what’s on your page 123! f_bigeyes.gif

 

rules for writers

22 Friday Feb 2008

Posted by in books & writing, humour, language

≈ 19 Comments

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An oldie but a goodie . . . 🙂

  1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
  4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  5. Avoid cliches like the plague (they’re old hat).
  6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
  7. Be more or less specific.
  8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
  9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
  10. No sentence fragments.
  11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
  12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  14. One should NEVER generalize.
  15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  16. Don’t use no double negatives.
  17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
  21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
  22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
  23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
  24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
  25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
  26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
  27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
  29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
  30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
  33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Can you think of any more?

Number 29 is dedicated to Archie & FFE and the pic is for alejna.

things I miss…

17 Sunday Feb 2008

Posted by in books & writing, films, food & drink, friends, language, life stuff, retail therapy, television

≈ 21 Comments

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I came across this old post from last year on Letters Home the other day. Oh how I wish everyone had a ‘recent comments’ widget for people just passing through or for when I’m just having a quick look around a few blogs without using my feedreader. In fact, I probably would have just read the comment to this post on my feedreader without clicking on the post itself. But seeing it on ian’s sidebar I clicked on the comment and saw the original post. Anyhoodle … it was all about things ian misses from the places he used to live after having moved on to somewhere else.

Like ian, I’ve lived in a few different places since leaving my birthplace Winnipeg, Canada (aka Winterpeg) at age 25. Since then I’ve lived in Toronto, Bristol in England, and Salamanca & Seville in Spain. Here is my list of things I miss …

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