Category Archives: fitness

a year later…

12 Monday Oct 2009

Posted by in cancer, change, chemo, diet & nutrition, fitness, friends, health & happiness, hope, hospitals

≈ 46 Comments

past-present-future

It was just over a year ago that I was told my cancer had become inoperable, that they could give me chemo to slow down the inevitable, and that without treatment I had maybe a year to live. I later found out that this idiot oncologist hadn’t even read my biopsy results, she had just assumed (as the surgeons had done) that the “buckshot” mess found on my peritoneum during my second operation was cancer –  it turned out to be old scar tissue. Anyhow, this is one of the many reasons she is now my ex-oncologist.

Since then I have had another recurrence, have gone through chemo again (April-July) and am now living on a “wait & watch” basis, with scans being done every three months…

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the pilates social club

09 Friday Oct 2009

Posted by in fitness, health & happiness, pilates, rants

≈ 16 Comments

yummy mummies

So remember when I started back at the gym in September with yoga (mon-wed-fri) and pilates (tues-thurs), and added a half-hour on The Bike after each class? Well, I am happy with my personal motivation at getting to the gym five days a week, and I am actually enjoying it. Or … I WAS enjoying it until the kids went back to school and suddenly my pilates class was stuffed full of so-called yummy mummies who think that the 9.30 class is an excuse to chat and act like they’re at a cocktail party.  And when I say chat, I mean TALK LIKE THIS at ear-splitting volume … during the class!!! It’s unbelievable. Oh, and with mobile phones constantly ringing. The other day one woman’s phone went of 3 times! I mean, WTF.

I could go to the 11.00 o’clock class, which isn’t as crowded and has a better class of attendees, but the timing isn’t so great. It really cuts the morning in half and I wouldn’t get home until almost 1 o’clock (instead of 11.30).

This never happens at yoga, perhaps because those classes are at 8.30 in the morning and the mummies can’t get to the gym that early as they are busy getting their 2.5 children ready for school. I am really starting to despise these women.

It’s always something …

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fitness

02 Friday Oct 2009

Posted by in cancer, change, diet & nutrition, fitness, health & happiness

≈ 5 Comments

fitness

At least this is something I can do!

I’ve mentioned my problem with focusing here before, and it’s not actually getting any better. I don’t know if it’s chemo brain or a result of the anaesthetic from having three ops in seven months, or all of it, but it’s quite scary how I can no longer focus on things like before. I start off the day with the best of intentions but end up finding almost nothing on my List done. It’s like the day totally slips away from me when I try to keep myself focused on a project that requires, well, focusing.

What I am able to do are things that are kind of “automatic”. Like going to the gym every day, Monday-Friday. I don’t need to think, just get up and into my gym clothes and head out the door. After that I follow the routine of yoga class and The Bike. I’ve even been pleased that on mornings after a bad sleep I’ve still made myself get up and go, because I know that this is at least the one thing I can do. And yesterday after the mammogram I was quite proud of myself for going to the later pilates class and also doing The Bike, so I wouldn’t have to miss a day. The only gym days I missed in September were due to hospital appointments … and one hangover (I blame Sara & Steve).

To accentuate the positive, I’ll be sticking with these healthy things I am able to do and just keep trying with the other stuff. I’ll have a few English classes starting next week, which will provide a bit more structure to my day. And I’m also going to start low-carbing seriously. Got a 30-day plan to follow, so again, won’t have to think, just do.

I love having a plan.  🙂

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borrowed time

15 Tuesday Sep 2009

Posted by in cancer, change, chemo, fitness, health & happiness, hope, life stuff

≈ 21 Comments

borrowed_time

So I got the good news yesterday that my CT scan came back negative, which now buys me another three months, and hopefully more. Though I am still a bit concerned because my last CT scan in February also came back negative, and then when they did a PET scan in March they found new metastasis in my liver, and I went back on chemo in April, blah, blah, blah.

The thing is, I am pretty sure I won’t ever be able to make myself go back on chemo again, so these tests have become a different sort of “threat”. Not just that of finding more cancer, but of me not being able to do any more treatment. Sure, maybe I would change my mind if I was faced with yet another recurrence, but for now I just want to focus on the next three months and live them as much as I can.

You see, the doctors don’t expect to cure me. And so, like all people with Stage IV cancer, my best hope is that I will live long enough to see some new treatment developments that might prolong my life in a way that is bearable. For me, being on chemo is not bearable. It’s not living. And so I hope this remission is a long one. Fingers crossed!

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back to the gym

28 Friday Aug 2009

Posted by in cancer, change, fitness, health & happiness, hope, life stuff

≈ 6 Comments

gym

So I finally got back to the gym yesterday, in part motivated by the fact that I’d paid the monthly fee for August and had so far only gone once. That was just after I got back from my week in Málaga and that same day I ended up putting my back out at the hospital. Grrr. And shortly after that I went to Zahara for ten days. If I’d known about the Zahara trip at the beginning of the month I probably would have asked the gym if I could skip a payment as I wasn’t going to be here. But after yesterday I’m glad I kept up the payments even if I only end up going a few times this month…

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