
Ever since my oncology appointment on May 24th I’ve been waiting to hear when my next PET scan will be. I’d been told it was going to be sometime during the first half of June and, frankly, I’ve been a nervous wreck all month. Then on Friday one of The Team told me the PET would definitely be this week and the hospital would call me on Monday (yesterday) to confirm. And well, they did call. But I was told my PET would be on Monday June28th. Two whole weeks away. Which I suppose won’t make much difference in terms of my health (if there are tumours it’s doubtful they will grow significantly in two weeks) … but dammit. I’ve been trying to get my work organised and the summer planned and had hoped to know at the beginning of June whether I was going to have a cancer-&-chemo-free summer.
Now I won’t know until July.
This sucks.










This does suck, Az. Knowing what you’re facing is awful, but not knowing always seems worse because at least when you know, you can look it in the eye as it were, and make decisions. Not knowing is limbo.
If this was on H2G2 I’d leave you a hug smiley. I don’t know how to do them on here but consider yourself hugged anyway.
Deb
LikeLike
I miss those h2g2 smiley hugs! Thanks Deb. I think I *am* actually much better at looking REALITY in the eye than worrying about all the “what might be’s” and “what if’s” …
LikeLike
So – take a deep breath – and carry on.
You know you can get through this.
When the scan comes back clear it will be that much longer before the next one will be due.
LikeLike
My favourite fantasy is finding out the scan is clear and then saying … well that’s it until after Christmas then! Sure hope that comes true. Thanks, Johnny.
LikeLike
I won’t say “It’s a pleasure”, because it isn’t!
I am, however, sure that things will be OK.
LikeLike
ugh – my scans have always been set up two to six months in advance, so while I don’t know what’s going on in between, I at least know when the scans are. How about looking at this as two more weeks of cancer and chemo free time?
Yeah, I know – I’m not really good at making lemonade out of lemons, either. π
But it won’t make summer better to waste these two weeks, either, so deep breaths, girl.
LikeLike
Now you see, that makes so much sense. I have never understood why my next scan appointment isn’t automatically made after the results of the previous one are known. And yeah, I’ve had it in my head since February that my next scan would be in early June. Why? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I’D BEEN TOLD. Aarrgh.
If anyone other than you (or Jed) had written that I would have reacted with something snarky, like – yeah right, how about YOU get cancer and then try “looking at things” like that! – though I never would have posted that reaction.
But in fact, that is exactly what I am trying to do. Fuck it. Even if – and especially if – I get the worst news possible in two weeks, I’m going to enjoy these next two as much as I possibly can. Thanks Gaelen. x
LikeLike
Sorry to hear this, Az. I would be extremely frustrated, too, and I am not good with waiting around with stuff like that. I’d be a huge ball of anxiety. I hope you are taking it easy, though.
LikeLike
I have to be one of the worst “waiters” in the world, patience is definitely not my long suit. You’ll do the best you can, and your best is probably better than most people’s. I’m not going to repeat BBJohnny’s visualization, but I share it.
LikeLike
Hug, hug, hug….
LikeLike
Oh dear, I was going for the “two weeks free line”, your response and all… π
How about, we’re all still here and we’re glad ‘you’re’ one of ‘we’, OK?
Big. Bear. Hug.
ps, I was working with someone who today who jokingly said I was like a peach, all soft and cuddly on the outside and hard inside. I replied I was more like a ripe orange, soft all the way through with bits that could crack your teeth if you weren’t careful. Oh dear, that sounded SO much better when I said it … π
LikeLike
… that’s what you think. π
LikeLike
So this morning the hospital called me again to say they could move my PET up to next Tuesday (June 22nd) at 5pm. And well, no. First of all because I have made an appointment to have Loki de-nutted that morning, and by now I’ve got used to the idea of it being the following Monday and am focusing on everything I want to do before then.
Plus … 5pm! No way. The Monday (June 28th) appointment is for 8am, which not only works best for the having to fast 7 hours before thing, but there won’t be anyone ahead of me. I’ve only had one afternoon PET and I had to wait two hours before even going in for the first part of the five-hour process. So, much better early morning on the last Monday in June. I actually feel better having made that decision for myself. I so often feel so helpless with all this stuff that it’s nice to have a choice from time to time.
LikeLike
Go… wink…
LikeLike
Oppps… left that on the wrong post
LikeLike
Better to have the PET by your choice, than get moved willy-nilly at theirs.
Keep your chin up, and we’ll wait up. {hug}
LikeLike