On Tuesday I started wondering why I hadn’t heard back about my next PET-CT scan so I sent a text to Isabel and that very afternoon I got a call telling me that I was scheduled for the scan on Thursday at 8 am. Which is TOMORROW. So well, fuck.
I was mostly okay about this yesterday but today I’ve kind of lost it. I checked again online to see what the proper PET scan prep is and have been sticking to it, even rescheduling tonight’s tapas tour for tomorrow so I could stay in and get an early night. But I’m such a nervous wreck.
I keep thinking about Pat and how, after four years of being cancer-free, she had a recurrence and not long after that she died. Just to say that I can never take it for granted that I’m going to be okay. And so I am, as always, hoping like mad that I will once again beat the odds tomorrow and be given another six months.
Had lunch with my friend Juan yesterday and told him how it would feel really extra cruel to get sick again after my life finally feels like it’s the one I’ve always dreamt of. I’m doing work I love, in the place that feels like my real home in the world, my social life is also fulfulling and I’m even starting to not be so hard on myself all the time. Also I have three young cats that I want to watch grow up. So please please please let me be okay tomorrow. Fingers crossed! xx
casa azahar 
Oh, az. I keep finding myself holding my breath. I will be thinking of you and keeping my fingers and whatnot crossed for you. I hope your day is filled with snibbling and other good things to distract you from the worrying.
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Good luck, sweetie, we at Casa Tyr will be thinking of you with everything crossed… x
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May your good luck go with you.
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I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow, also with everything crossed, and checking here often so see what’s coming up on your twitter feed. Wishing you good luck tomorrow and a good night’s sleep tonight.
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all thoughts with you tomorrow honey. love you. xx
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and by the way – your hair looks fabulous all frizzed up – really gorgeous! x
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I was thinking of this when I went out with my walking poles this morning — “isn’t Az about due for that scan”? and putting every huff and puff into a wish for it all going smoothly and coming out okay.
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Hugs xxoo good luck! Sending positive vibes from CA
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Thinking of you this morning xx
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Also thinking of you this morning x
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Oh, I just saw the update! Happy dance! So glad they can get you this good news so quickly.
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Oh yay!
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Congratulations!
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Great news! Big sigh of relief.
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Such fab news! I’ll join Alejna in the happy dance!
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Happy dancing over here too guys – thanks! Celebrated this afternoon with a lovely “croqueta” lunch with my friend Saray.
Now off to work! Tapas tour coming up shortly. This afternoon I got a request for a tapas tour in November and it was the first time in months I haven’t thought “hope I’ll be able to do this!”. 🙂
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Great news! xxx
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Was thinking of you this week (in between driving film stars) and I’m so happy that it all turned out okay! Enjoy! And I’m jealous of croquetas week… 😦
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Film stars?
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We’ve been away for a few days so have only just read your update – really pleased for you!
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