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You came into my life just by chance, and you stayed in my life because you chose to. You wanted to. And unlike with many people I’ve known, your friendship never waivered, not once, not even a little bit.  I smile remembering how you’d tell me “yeah, that’s because they’re assholes”. That meant absolutely everything to me.

Annie, I’ve been sitting by your bedside, so to speak, for these past weeks and riding that rollercoaster with Kenton, during your good days, and the times when it looked like it was all over and then you’d rally yet again. As Kenton put it, you’re as stubborn as a mule and as tough as old boots, and always the strong one while the rest of us are in bits.

And we were in bits many times, and then the next day you’d be up drinking a smoothie at the hospice and chatting away. Oh Annie. It’s been awhile since we were able to talk, but Kenton told me he mentioned me to you the other day and you smiled and said “of course I remember Shawn”. But other times you were barely conscious. And so while this really breaks my heart, of course you couldn’t have gone on like that. I imagine how annoyed you’d be.

I’ve never lost someone I love before, Annie. It’s taken heartbreak to a whole other level. As I said to Kenton, I guess it’s lucky I hardly love anyone so this isn’t likely to happen many more times during what is left of my life.

Silver linings.

My life will not be the same without you my beautiful, loving, smart, funny and fiercely loyal friend. But I know that I am a better person for having known you. And I will never stop loving and missing you. ❤

We love each other and try our best, everything else is meaningless

We hard arsed bitches have to stick together. Fuck everyone else. Love you, Shawn. X

~ Annie