Category Archives: friends

prognosis & treatment (2)

10 Friday Oct 2008

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, hospitals, life stuff

≈ 57 Comments

So this was it – the second prognosis after the aborted liver resection in September. Nog and I left the house early yesterday because we wanted to walk to the hospital through the park  –  the plan was to meet up with Pablo about 15 minutes before my appointment with the oncologist. And that’s basically what happened. Of course the appointment happened about two hours after the appointed time . . .

We finally got in to see the doctor, and there is no way to sugar-coat this, so here we go…

  • my tumours are inoperable
  • chemo might help slow down the inevitable
  • without treatment I maybe have a year

It didn’t happen quite that succinctly. I had previously briefed Pablo on the situation and about all the questions I wanted answered, so he could back me up. In the end I did most of the talking but it was still good having him there. Nog came too because he didn’t want to be left at home waiting to hear the news,  and in the end all three of us squeezed into the consulting room. Here is a pic I took of my two boys in the waiting room, standing in front of a decolourated Matisse print . . .

It was hard. I had to keep poking and prodding … trying to get something REAL out of the doctor. Because she didn’t want to tell me what she ended up telling me. Later she told Pablo she’d never had a patient so … well, so like me.

Afterwards we walked out of the hospital together and, since I hadn’t cried in the doctor’s office (I was soooo close…), I was determined not to cry while we went to find somewhere to have lunch. And when I ventured a self-pitying comment about being dead soon, Pablo quickly nipped that in the bud by saying that I didn’t have to worry because he and Peter weren’t that lucky. Ha! That snapped me out of it long enough to enjoy a wonderful lunch … photos to be supplied later.

But really … this totally sucks.

And I really, really don’t want to die.

Not like this, not so soon …

prognosis & treatment (3)
prognosis & treatment (1)

damn my memory!

03 Friday Oct 2008

Posted by in food & drink, friends, holidays, rants, trips

≈ 24 Comments

This is driving me bonkers!

Yesterday Pipocas took me out for a lovely lunch at a new place (well, new for us) called Viniera San Telmo. It had been recommended by someone from the UK who had written to me back in August, thanking me for my tapas blog because he brings people to Sevilla for tapa tours and apparently my site has been very helpful to him. He also told me about some of his favourite places here, one of which is Viniera San Telmo. And so we tried it out and it really was fabulous. Anyhow, over lunch . . .

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progress report (4)

01 Wednesday Oct 2008

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, hospitals, progress

≈ 19 Comments

It’s been about nine days since my  ‘almost operation’ – is it still considered an operation if they didn’t  actually hack into my liver and remove the tumours?. In any case, I’m sure this is why I went home after just two days, as I’m mostly ‘just’ recovering from having a 15″ j-shaped gash cut into me rather than that and my liver being resected.  And I seem to be recovering from it quite well.  Meanwhile . . .

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noggin

29 Monday Sep 2008

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, home, love

≈ 9 Comments

That’s a little joke present that nursemyra brought me from Australia when she came to visit last June. It’s a ‘summoning bell’ for me to ring whenever I need Nog to do something for me (it also looks like it can be used to open beer bottles), though nursemyra pointed out at the time that it was a little late for me to use as I had already recovered from the colon operation.  Little did we know then that there would be more to come . . .

Anyhow, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate Nog because, all joking aside, he truly has been there for me throughout all of this and it’s a real comfort to know that he’s also going to help me through the next however-long-it-takes to get better.  I know that sometimes Nog has been almost as scared as me, but he doesn’t let it show and he’s always there to help with anything he can,  never hesitating to put me first.  But I also know that people caring for a sick person can sometimes forget to take care of  themselves, so I’ve tried to make sure that this doesn’t happen.

Since May I think we’ve both managed to work it out so that there is a healthy balance of  mutual love and respect and support happening – so that both of us can get what we need – though it took awhile to find that balance. I also think we are both going to come through this experience much wiser and somehow better people. Cancer wasn’t what either of us expected or wanted to happen, but it turns out that the silver lining is a deepening of our trust and friendship, as well as quite a lot of ‘growing up’ that was long overdue.

Oh, and we did try out the bell one day to see if Nog could hear it in the livingroom if I rang it in the bedroom. The cats damn near jumped out of their fur, so we didn’t try it again. It looks pretty on the bookshelf though.

Thanks Nog, for everything. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
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kick-ass az

25 Thursday Sep 2008

Posted by in blogging, friends, me-me's

≈ 4 Comments

I have received this KickAss Blogger award from alejna!

I saw this while I was in hospital yesterday and it both cheered me up and choked me up, especially when alejna wrote: What I find most endearing about az is that she makes it easy for me to forget that I haven’t met her in “real life” . I remember her telling me that before, I think when we started playing online scrabble, and it’s just about the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. Thanks for that, honey, as well as the rest of that blush-making tribute.

I’m supposed to pass this award on, but as my online time is somewhat restricted at the moment (this danged J-shaped scar is causing quite a bit of pain and keeps making me lie down), I’m going to pass the buck instead and suggest that you all nominate yourselves and then pass it along.