Category Archives: health & happiness

a year later…

12 Monday Oct 2009

Posted by in cancer, change, chemo, diet & nutrition, fitness, friends, health & happiness, hope, hospitals

≈ 46 Comments

past-present-future

It was just over a year ago that I was told my cancer had become inoperable, that they could give me chemo to slow down the inevitable, and that without treatment I had maybe a year to live. I later found out that this idiot oncologist hadn’t even read my biopsy results, she had just assumed (as the surgeons had done) that the “buckshot” mess found on my peritoneum during my second operation was cancer –  it turned out to be old scar tissue. Anyhow, this is one of the many reasons she is now my ex-oncologist.

Since then I have had another recurrence, have gone through chemo again (April-July) and am now living on a “wait & watch” basis, with scans being done every three months…

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the pilates social club

09 Friday Oct 2009

Posted by in fitness, health & happiness, pilates, rants

≈ 16 Comments

yummy mummies

So remember when I started back at the gym in September with yoga (mon-wed-fri) and pilates (tues-thurs), and added a half-hour on The Bike after each class? Well, I am happy with my personal motivation at getting to the gym five days a week, and I am actually enjoying it. Or … I WAS enjoying it until the kids went back to school and suddenly my pilates class was stuffed full of so-called yummy mummies who think that the 9.30 class is an excuse to chat and act like they’re at a cocktail party.  And when I say chat, I mean TALK LIKE THIS at ear-splitting volume … during the class!!! It’s unbelievable. Oh, and with mobile phones constantly ringing. The other day one woman’s phone went of 3 times! I mean, WTF.

I could go to the 11.00 o’clock class, which isn’t as crowded and has a better class of attendees, but the timing isn’t so great. It really cuts the morning in half and I wouldn’t get home until almost 1 o’clock (instead of 11.30).

This never happens at yoga, perhaps because those classes are at 8.30 in the morning and the mummies can’t get to the gym that early as they are busy getting their 2.5 children ready for school. I am really starting to despise these women.

It’s always something …

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fitness

02 Friday Oct 2009

Posted by in cancer, change, diet & nutrition, fitness, health & happiness

≈ 5 Comments

fitness

At least this is something I can do!

I’ve mentioned my problem with focusing here before, and it’s not actually getting any better. I don’t know if it’s chemo brain or a result of the anaesthetic from having three ops in seven months, or all of it, but it’s quite scary how I can no longer focus on things like before. I start off the day with the best of intentions but end up finding almost nothing on my List done. It’s like the day totally slips away from me when I try to keep myself focused on a project that requires, well, focusing.

What I am able to do are things that are kind of “automatic”. Like going to the gym every day, Monday-Friday. I don’t need to think, just get up and into my gym clothes and head out the door. After that I follow the routine of yoga class and The Bike. I’ve even been pleased that on mornings after a bad sleep I’ve still made myself get up and go, because I know that this is at least the one thing I can do. And yesterday after the mammogram I was quite proud of myself for going to the later pilates class and also doing The Bike, so I wouldn’t have to miss a day. The only gym days I missed in September were due to hospital appointments … and one hangover (I blame Sara & Steve).

To accentuate the positive, I’ll be sticking with these healthy things I am able to do and just keep trying with the other stuff. I’ll have a few English classes starting next week, which will provide a bit more structure to my day. And I’m also going to start low-carbing seriously. Got a 30-day plan to follow, so again, won’t have to think, just do.

I love having a plan.  🙂

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land squid (mammogram)

01 Thursday Oct 2009

Posted by in cancer, chemo, health & happiness, hospitals, life stuff

≈ 11 Comments

mammogram

I saw my oncologist yesterday and got the low-down on my situation.  Well, sort of. Which is that I am on “wait and watch” until the next CT scan. I have another appointment with the onc in November … and that’s all I know. Oh, except that I have a hernia from one of my previous ops and might have to have another operation for that (??!). Seriously, I was just told this like it was nothing and was asked  – “You mean the surgeons never rescheduled with you after your last appointment?” (in January).  And no, they hadn’t. And then the onc suddenly told me I had to lose weight because of the hernia. Like duh. She never once mentioned this was important in terms of having cancer, which I believe it is. So I told her I was on the case, going to the gym every day and changing my diet …

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sword of damocles

23 Wednesday Sep 2009

Posted by in cancer, change, chemo, friends, health & happiness, hope, hospitals

≈ 5 Comments

sword_of_damocles

The other day my friend Gaelen wrote a very thoughtful blog post called The Reluctant (Cancer) Warrior, and asked at the end of it…

Do you like the battle metaphors for cancer, the idea of being a cancer warrior? Do you see living with cancer as a war? What is the cancer metaphor that works for you?

And it came to me that the metaphor that works best for me is the Sword of Damocles. Just hanging there, you know? And you never know when it’s going to fall and take your life away…

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