Awhile ago I read this on the Colon Club forum and it really hit home.

“The problem right now is I go through such mixed feelings, and I get lonely because there is not anyone with whom to share them as I know very few people who have had cancer. I am tired of not “feeling” myself. I know things from here on out will never be quite the same. I have battled with this neuropathy for some time now and I battle with work and appointments. I need balance! I do take anti depressants but think talking to others will help me. Others know what it is like, this “lonely” feeling. Note: I am not suicidal and I am happy to be alive. I just need friends like me. Once you finish chemo, it’s like everyone forgets that anything is going on with you? Anyone else share my feelings?”

In fact, I was going to post this last March and then I found out about the recurrence and was suddenly back on chemo. Thing was, even six months after the first chemo I was still feeling not quite myself. I have since come to the conclusion that my pre-cancer self is gone for good. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it takes some getting used to…

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