
… is all I ever seem to do these days.
08 Wednesday Apr 2009

… is all I ever seem to do these days.
16 Monday Mar 2009
Posted in cancer, friends, health & happiness, life stuff

I’m afraid the black clouds were back this weekend.
I think the oncologist visit on Friday kind of threw me, as well as some other info I’ve been reading elsewhere. It suddenly hit home that I am in a remission state at the moment that I’ve been taking way too much for granted. Which at first felt like a bit of a wake up call, and I set about making sure that I didn’t waste any more days. Then I totally collapsed about half-way through my “wonderful day” and I realised that I need to do things differently. It seems that even taking things one day at a time is still more than I can handle, so I dunno … take things by the hour? Seriously, I think making lists and then just focusing on the job at hand is probably going to be the best way of coping for now. A little therapeutic tunnel vision. Hour by hour. Because trying to deal with a whole day is sometimes just too overwhelming.
So I’ll be starting today off with an hour of coffee & reading in bed, then an hour of yoga, and then … well then we’ll see if I can get the sun to come out. One hour at a time. . .
10 Tuesday Mar 2009
Posted in blogging, friends, health & happiness, hope, life stuff, work

For those of you who may have noticed…
I haven’t been around the ol’ blogosphere much of late, though I have actually been spending even more time than usual in front of the computer. When I have had some time to do a little blog reading (usually in bed on the iPhone with Azar on my head) I mostly catch up without leaving comments. Which I know is really bad of me because I know how much I love getting comments, and that you gotta give in order to receive, and all that jazz. But it’ll probably be like this for the next couple of weeks anyhow, while I desperately try to get work and other stuff sorted out.
06 Friday Mar 2009
Posted in cancer, friends, health & happiness, life stuff, work
≈ Comments Off on losing it…

I’ve been losing it the past couple of weeks.
And the thing is, I’m supposed to be better now. I’m supposed to be happy about being “cured” and that “nothing is wrong with me”. Except the thing that is still wrong with me is that I’ve spent the past ten months being sick, being in pain and being afraid … and I guess that just doesn’t go away overnight. It’s almost like I was able to cope with all the scary stuff better when it was all happening, because I had no choice…
21 Saturday Feb 2009
Posted in friends, health & happiness, home, hope, life stuff, love, morocco
This is my sister Susan (aka Pipocas)
There’s the family you’re born into and the family you choose. It started off as kind of a joke, telling the doctors at the private hospital that Susan was my sister so that they would let her visit that first night I was admitted for observation last May. Then we decided to maintain the ruse after I was transferred to Virgen del Rocío hospital for the emergency colon resection. Sometime between then and I’m not sure when, it turned out that we actually were sisters…