Tag Archives: azahar cats

we’re home!

22 Wednesday Mar 2023

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After a sleepless night and fretful morning (me) and a stressful scream-filled taxi ride (Morcilla) we are home. Morcilla is just starting to perk up but is still quite groggy and wobbly. She keeps trying to walk but just ends up rolling over, poor thing. I have the small duvet folded up on the living room floor but she refuses to stay there, stubborn girl that she is, and ends up slipping and sliding all around on the marble floor. So I pick her up and put her back on the duvet and it starts all over again.

Anyhow, she needed six stitches in the end. Sonia had first thought just three but it turned out the lump went much deeper that she realised and she wanted to make sure she got all of it out. And so now we wait and hope it’s benign. I’m taking her back in for a quick check up on Friday morning and then the stitches come out about ten days after that. But for today I am on Morcilla Watch while she gets over the anaesthetic. My baby girl. 💛🐈‍⬛

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last call

22 Wednesday Feb 2023

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last call

We didn’t make it to today. The plan had been that our vet Sonia would come this evening to “take him away” but yesterday afternoon I sent her a message asking if maybe we could talk about doing it sooner. It was so clear that Loki was not having any kind of life any more and watching him trying to get to his water bowl and then (and then!) try to pee in the box rather than in his blanket… it was so painful to watch and I realised that was enough. Sonia called back late afternoon and as soon as she heard me she said “we can be there in an hour”. And OMG, it was suddenly all happening too fast and I said “oh no, can’t we”… and then I stopped. Because of course it had to happen. So I said okay and then bundled Loki into my lap. This is the last photo I took of us together while we waited. My heart.

At first I couldn’t stop sobbing, honestly I was totally crying my heart out, I just didn’t want to let go of him. Then I don’t know, I looked down at him so weak and tired in my lap, so trusting, and I realised that he deserved better than this. So several deep breaths later I started talking to him in my special Loki lovey-dovey voice, telling him how much I was going to miss him, how much I love him, but that it was time to let go and that he had to remember how much he was loved, how much everyone loved him. By the time Sonia and Macarena arrived we were both very calm, just Loki and me in my comfy chair, just like always.

Sonia administered the tranquilliser with Loki still in my lap so he wasn’t disturbed at all. I don’t think he even knew they were there. Sonia said “just keep talking to him” and so I did. A few minutes later he got all groggy and floppy and then it was time. I carried him over to the office table, there was a blanket set up already, and we put him there, all limp and barely conscious, and then Sonia gave him the necessary injections. Two minutes later he was gone. And Sonia gave me some time to kiss him again and say goodbye one last time before they gently moved him to a carrier and took him away.

Sonia told me before leaving this was the hardest part of her job and said I had done the right thing to call her (she’d immediately left a full waiting room at her practice to attend to us) then she gave me a big hug. And then they were gone. And my Loki was gone. My Loki. 🧡🐈

one last day

21 Tuesday Feb 2023

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one last day

I took Loki in for another treatment last night but I feared the worst as the past couple of days he’d really gone downhill. He hadn’t been eating, had no energy, and was also having trouble walking. So they did an ultrasound and it showed tumours in his pancreas and liver, also enlarged kidneys. His temperature had dropped and a second blood test showed that his kidneys were basically shutting down. And Sonia gave it to me straight, that it was time to make that terrible decision. Honestly, floods of tears at the vet’s, I totally lost it. So I said I wanted to take him home for at least one more night – I couldn’t just leave him there – and Sonia consoled me by saying that failing kidneys was actually a “muerte suave” and that he wouldn’t be in pain. She said he’d mostly be weak and disoriented, like being in a dream, not really knowing what was going on. Except I know he knows. But as long as there’s no pain…

Anyhow, I couldn’t bear the idea of taking Loki back to the vet’s and for his last memories to be yet another scary taxi ride, and then to be put on a cold hard table in a strange place surrounded by bright lights and strangers. Then I remembered that when Lua was on her way out my vet came over to the house to administer the final injection, so I asked if they could do this too. And yes, they can. But not until Wednesday. So that gives me until tomorrow with my beautiful boy. I took this pic this morning. He’s next to me in bed, all bundled up and snoring. My heart.

caturday february 18th 2023

18 Saturday Feb 2023

Posted by in casa azahar, cats, caturday, home

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caturday feb 18 2023

Some news. Loki was vomiting overnight so I took him back to the vet this morning before my tapas tour. Yesterday they hadn’t wanted to “over-jab” him but said if he vomited again to come in. So… another jab! Then I had to go to work and so Peter took Loki home and got him comfy, wrapped up in the duvet on the sofa. But later Peter told me he still wouldn’t eat.

So I tried him again when I got home, this time mixing his food with a little water and putting some of it into a large syringe (needle out, of course) that I’d picked up at the vet’s, scooped Loki up in my lap and squirted some of it into his mouth (that missing incisor actually made for an excellent entry point). And omg, Loki suddenly perked up and started licking the syringe demanding more, so then I switched to a spoon and spoon-fed my darling boy, almost beside myself with happiness. He wanted to eat! After a good feed he had a good drink of water and now… it’s face-down flat-out siesta time. I know it’s all touch and go at the moment, but hey, I’ll take this. Happy Caturday everybody.