19 Saturday Dec 2009
Posted in cancer, food & drink, hospitals, photohunt, photos
17 Tuesday Nov 2009
Posted in cancer, health & happiness, hospitals
Well, an afternoon really.
I have my check-up with the oncologist later on today and either before or after that I’ll be going to get my port flushed, and then go to emergency to get my eyeballs looked at. That weird flashing prism thing happened again on Sunday evening, though it didn’t last as long as the first time. Agustín had told me to go directly to emergency if it happened again, but since I had to be there today anyhow I decided to wait.
I should find out when my next scan is going to be, and whether it will be a CT or a PET. I don’t have many hospital buddies anymore, so Nog is going to come with me for the oncologist appointment and hopefully won’t have to leave before we get in. The appointment is for 5.00 and he has a class at 6.30, so if I’m lucky there won’t be too much of a wait. But I’ll probably end up doing the port and going to emergency on my own. So watch for me on Twitter!
I really really hate hospitals, especially when I’m alone.
10 Tuesday Nov 2009
Posted in cancer, chemo, diet & nutrition, health & happiness, hospitals, rants, wtf?
Been feeling like I should be put out to pasture…
Seriously, I feel like an old wreck whose parts aren’t working properly anymore and there aren’t any replacements. Every day it’s something else. Well okay, not every day, but it sometimes seems that way. I mean, after getting over the worst effects of the chemo I developed quite painful neuropathy in my feet (less so in my hands) that will only get worse as it gets colder out. And now my right foot has a new problem in the arch and it feels like I am walking on a golfball. Ouch. Oh, and then I found out I had a hernia – remember that? – which erupted a couple of weeks ago and has still not quite healed after being sliced open to drain. What else? Well, there are the regular bouts of tachycardia that nobody can explain, as well as still getting quite winded after even the slightest bit of physical exertion. And then my mammogram results were dodgy and they want me to have another one in six months. Then the other night I was watching TV and suddenly my vision went all distorted and it was like looking through a flashing prism, which scared the hell out of me but luckily only lasted about 15 minutes. And the latest thing was when I was eating a mushroom on Sunday evening and a huge chunk of my back tooth fell out. Just crumbled and fell out, like in one of those anxiety dreams, except I wasn’t dreaming. Upon further inspection I saw that both my upper back teeth are almost totally black. I mean, wtf?
All of which is compounded by averaging only about four hour’s sleep a night. I feel like I’m sleepwalking most of the time and always feel tired and achy inside. And I worry that maybe this means the cancer has come back.
So there. Rant over. It’s just that sometimes I wonder if I’m ever going to feel good again, you know? And at the same time I’m happy to feel even this good after the hell that was chemo. Pretty mixed up, eh?
And today I’m off for blood tests. Heigh ho…
casa azahar 