This photo popped up in my azahar Instagram Memories today, and I actually got a bit weepy. It had been such a great day, checking out the Guggenheim in Bilbao, walking around town, looking for tapas bars that were open (top tip: do not visit Bilbao the week after their Semana Grande in August), later having cocktails on the rooftop of the Gran Hotel Domine at sunset overlooking the Guggenheim and the river. It was part of my first Basque Getaway, visiting Bilbao and San Sebastián.

I guess what got me choked up was the feeling of not knowing if or when this will ever be possible again. I still can’t even get on a train to go to Jerez or Cádiz on a day trip. But today I was whisked back to Bilbao, to the streets, the crazy architecture, the fab pintxo bars, the market, the river, getting lost in a dodgy part of town late at night, the museum of columns. What also got me choked up was that back then, just two years ago, there was no way of knowing what would happen to us in 2020. Hell, same goes for last December, but…

I dunno. Today I saw tweet by the regional government boasting that Andalucía had received the highest volume of travellers and hotel overnight stays in the country during the month of July and had established itself as a preferred destination for Spanish tourists. Meanwhile Andalucía has also registered the highest numbers of the pandemic with 909 cases in 24 hours, including 4 deaths. Coincidence?

I’m just so sad these days. Nobody seems to be in charge. People are doing WHATEVER because there is no direction. And my life… I honestly don’t know. Back in April I was doing okay by not thinking too far ahead, just getting by day by day. But the truth is that I could lose my home and that’s terrifying to me. So seeing these Bilbao pics was so bittersweet. Back when things were good we never thought things could ever change so much, or so quickly.