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Tag Archives: mental health

panic makes a house call

05 Monday Aug 2024

Posted by azahar in casa azahar, health, health & happiness, sevilla

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

anxiety, health, mental health, panic attacks

panic

Something happened today and I wasn’t sure if I would talk about it here but after telling my friend Kate (aka @sledpress) it seemed okay to also share it with you guys. Some of you know that for years (since I was about 14 actually) I’ve suffered from panic attacks/agoraphobia, no doubt a result of chronic anxiety that has been with me since childhood. Oddly or otherwise the attacks pretty much went away during and post cancer (I guess almost dying kind of knocked them out of the ballpark in terms of things I had to worry about). That is until about five years later (2016) during a trip to London when I was hit with an overwhelming panic attack while crossing Trafalgar Square. And just like that they were back.

These days they have become less frequent but they still lurk menacingly in the background. Crossing bridges can still be fraught, also sudden changes in light. But this morning I had this happen to me while sitting at my desk and it especially scared the fuck out of me because, well, I don’t get panic attacks at home! This is my safe place. Or it’s supposed to be and has been until now. Anyhow, suddenly I started feeling disconnected from “reality” and there was a huge surge of panic rising in my solar plexus and that old feeling like I am dissolving and have no skin anymore… absolutely terrifying. No words can actually describe it. I don’t know how I “came back” but lots of deep breathing, some distraction therapy and then doing a chair workout… and phew. The worst of it was over.

I tried telling Peter and he just looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights, though later he came out of his room and gave me a hug. What can I say, he’s not really a hugger, but it was nice that he tried. Then I told Kate on whatsapp and I felt better knowing that she would read it and understand. Later, when we were on similar “awake times” we chatted a bit and that also helped a lot.

Had it been a typical episode, crossing a bridge or just being blindsided out in the street, I would have retreated to my lovely Casa Azahar knowing that at least I am safe here. But now? There never used to be any triggers here at home and it’s well documented that the fearful anticipation of a panic attack happening again from being in a similar situation… well, it can cause them to happen again.

I need to fight this, just not sure how to go about it yet. And no, this is not exactly how I had hoped to spend the second half of my Staycation but here we are. I mean, maybe it was a one off, maybe it won’t happen again at home. But now I’ve lost my trust in my home being my safe place. My refuge. Dammit.

thick skin soft heart

08 Wednesday Dec 2021

Posted by azahar in friends, health & happiness

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

friends, mental health, sevilla

thick skin

So this happened today. I found out that someone who ghosted me during the summer of 2020 (after telling me to get professional help when I admitted to them I was going through a hard time) has been telling people in our circle of friends and acquaintances that we “no longer have a friendship”. I don’t know if they have been saying WHY (which might actually interest me since I was never told) or whatever else is a part of their own personal gossipy drama around this, but fuck this sucks.

I mean, I was way over the fact that this person had decided not to be friends any more. Because who needs friends like that? BUT I MEAN, to have this affect my professional life to the point where an event organiser felt they had to “warn” me that this person would also be in attendance… you know, just to avoid an “uncomfortable situation”. I was totally taken aback. I know the organiser meant well, that their heart was in the right place, and that’s fine. But the fact that they even knew, or thought they knew, that there might be some ISSUE between me and someone I’ve had no contact with for almost a year and a half… well, that takes some constant stoking of the ol’ gossip machine. But why?

I’ll be honest that this hurt me. Felt like hot stabby knives in my heart and I’ve spent the afternoon in tears. It’s a feeling of betrayal somehow. Not because this person no longer wanted to be friends, because I realised later on they were never actually a friend. I was just useful to them for awhile. But what is it with the social backstabbing and gossipy shit? Why would someone feel a need to do that? Why am I such a threat to them?

Anyone who actually knows me also knows that I am a rather complicated and (so I am told) sometimes challenging person. Apparently this is also a part of what makes me “interesting”. But those same people, those very few who actually know me, also know what a vulnerable quivering insecure mess I am most days. Sure, I’ve learned how to pretend I have thick skin, have learned how to appear strong when it’s the last thing I am feeling… but most of the time it’s like I have no skin at all. So how do I go about acquiring some thicker skin? I don’t want to get all hard or anything. Just so that everything doesn’t hurt so much.

september

01 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by azahar in cancer, change, coronavirus, covid, lockdown, sevilla

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

covid, home, mental health, sevilla

september

September has always felt like the “new year” to me, much more than the first of January, with its post summer holiday back-to-school feeling of everything starting over again. But this year, not so much. Of course this is in part due to Covid, but even last September felt more… hopeful?… with several tapas bars reopening after an extra long lockdown. It felt like things were getting better and people were still more or less pulling together. But I have to say that in these past twelve months I have been feeling more and more discouraged. Not so much by Covid, which is still proving to be a serious daily issue, but because people have been showing themselves to be… well, themselves. I do cling to the hope that there are still good people out there, simply because I know a few myself and so there must be more, but there are days when I truly despair.

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anxiety alert

18 Tuesday Feb 2020

Posted by azahar in health & happiness, home, hope

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

anxiety, depression, hope, mental health

Part of the many issues surrounding “invisible” medical conditions such as depression and anxiety is that they are, well, invisible. This means not only are most people unaware that someone they know might be suffering from this, but even after they are told, they somehow don’t quite believe it. I think it’s a bit like “the stupid things people say” when they find out someone has a nasty illness like cancer. And while I’ve talked at length here and elsewhere about my cancer story, I have not often mentioned the anxiety thing. But today it seems relevant because of a couple of recent experiences.

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