Category Archives: change

clean

13 Wednesday Jan 2010

Posted by in cancer, change, friends, hope, hospitals, yoga

≈ 57 Comments

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This is very true…
But a clean PET scan is the best birthday present ever!

I have to admit that I’m still processing all this. As many of you know, I was pretty tied up in knots about this latest PET scan (my fourth). Partly due to the timing … my recurrence last March happened six months after finishing chemo, and this was also six months since I finished chemo for the second time in July. And partly because for the past few weeks I’ve been experiencing some pretty bad abdominal pain. I was half-convinced the cancer was back, and started beating myself up for not doing the whole “anti-cancer” antioxidant diet, for not losing weight and getting super-fit, for not … being perfect? I dunno. I just felt I could have done better and was sure I was now going to be “punished” for not having done so (those sicko Catholic upbringings take a lot of getting over). Anyhow, I was a mess. And so, when I hadn’t heard from the hospital about my PET scan appointment last week I started pestering The Team…

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hope revisited

03 Sunday Jan 2010

Posted by in cancer, change, home

≈ 7 Comments

Made me smile when I changed the pages in my daybook last week and saw what I had used for my first ever Photohunt entry – the theme that week was “hope”. That was a year ago today. And so I have made a new one for next year.

At the time I had no idea that I would have a recurrence a few months later and end up spending much of 2009 being sick on chemo and then recovering from that. I still have pretty bad neuropathy in my feet, but the other day Nog asked me how the “chemo brain” was and I realised that I’m actually thinking – and functioning – a lot better these days. I’m able to focus more and keep things straight in my head. My memory is still crap, but I think it always was (heh, can’t remember). And so, there have been some improvements.

I’ve said elsewhere that my main hope for 2010 is that I’ll have a clean PET scan this month, that the abdominal pain I’ve been experiencing is due to the hernia and old scar tissue (not more cancer!).  Well, really that I’ll have a cancer-free year. I have a few projects on the go that I hope will start bringing in some income soon. And I like to think of myself writing about this post next January 3rd.

What are you hoping for this year?

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forum frustration

23 Wednesday Dec 2009

Posted by in blogging, change, computers, geekiness, internet

≈ 8 Comments

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Aaaack! I have been pulling out my hair trying to get some sort of forum up and running on Sevilla Tapas. First I thought I’d try P2 for WordPress, which seemed easy enough. And was easy enough to install. But it also seems awkward for people to register and when Nog registered the other day he ended up being able to access the dashboard (!). I’ve also tried bbpress, which is supposed to be “simple, fast and elegant”, but I cannot get it to install properly. I keep getting stuck on numbers 4 & 5 on their instruction page that says “visit the intended URL of the bbPress site,  you will be greeted with the bbPress installer” – but sadly this never happens. Then someone told me to install a plugin that does the WP integration for bbpress … no joy there either. Then I had Simple Scripts (on my BlueHost) automatically install bbpress, and that seemed to be working okay, but I couldn’t get into the CSS to change things. And okay,  I know I’m not the geekiest of people, but I like to think I know my way around CSS a bit and am usually able to install these things quite easily.

There is also Buddy Press, but I’m not sure that’s really what I’m looking for.

Anyhow, my Twitter friend Andy says he will help me with this a bit later on today … wish me luck. I’ve been getting some interesting feedback and queries by email from visitors to Sevilla Tapas and I think that there would be more interaction if there were a forum option available. I’m actually quite looking forward to that.

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anything for a laugh

26 Thursday Nov 2009

Posted by in animals & pets, change, home, life stuff

≈ 9 Comments

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Azar is such a hammy drama cat, and is also the only cat I’ve ever met with such a silly sense of humour. He loves playing tricks on people and seems to derive great pleasure from getting me to laugh. He’s certainily been extra frisky and silly since Sunny died last week, and one of his new “make az laugh” tricks is his death-defying walk along the back of the sofa, which he has been performing almost daily. The funny bit is, because he only has three usable paws, the various turns and twists he does  as he walks back and forth end up being quite comical. I tried to catch him in action yesterday and this was the least blurry photo I could manage. Am going to video him next time!

So, I don’t know if it’s on purpose or coincidence, but this past week Azar really has been pulling out all the stops. He’s been extra demanding in a “hey, look at me!” sort of way, but it seems mostly so he can do something silly and then get me to laugh and make a big fuss over him. He’s also being extra cuddly in bed, purring me to sleep and otherwise being totally adorable, bless his furry little heart.

Missing Sunny still hurts but thanks to Azar I can also smile again.

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