Category Archives: friends

prognosis & treatment (1)

28 Saturday Jun 2008

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, hospitals, life stuff

≈ 20 Comments

It was question and answer time at the hospital yesterday. And I have to say that I was very impressed by how honestly my oncologist Yolanda answered my very direct questions.

The day got off to a bit of a frantic start. Not only was Nog packing up to leave for his month-long job teaching English at a residential camp for kids in Alicante, but Pipocas found out she might have to leave the hospital earlier than planned and, if I was going to start chemo, this would mean that I’d be left on my own. And so on the way to meet Pipocas I stopped by the girls’ apartment – woke them up! – and asked daisyfae if she was still okay about coming to the hospital just in case, as she had previously offered. She was, and so off we went.

And three hours later my whole life changed.

It kinda went like this. I thought I had a choice about either operating now or later, but it turned out that the very specialist surgical team that does the liver op stuff is way booked up (also it’s summer holidays) and so my only option now is to start chemo for a cycle or two (3-6 weeks) and then have surgery. The chemo will start on Monday.

Further questioning led to me asking about my REAL medical condition and prognosis. And I mean, a LOT of extra questioning. Yolanda wasn’t giving anything away but what finally came out was this. . .

  • that I’d had a very aggressive tumour that metastasized very quickly to my liver
  • that after liver surgery there will be a 50% chance of the cancer returning
  • that with chemotherapy this will be reduced to 45%
  • that once I finish chemo I will need to be tested every three months

Pretty scary stuff. Yet somehow I feel more ‘at home’ knowing where I stand. This is much better than going through the chemo and liver surgery and THEN being told the odds. Which aren’t particularly in my favour, are they? I was surprised at how little difference having chemo made.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t feel like giving up and dying. But I also don’t think that I can “fight cancer” by doing anything more than following the prescribed treatment and continuing to enjoy my life. It’s a very serious illness. I’ll either get better or I won’t. Dammit.

just what the doctor ordered…

20 Friday Jun 2008

Posted by in friends, holidays, home, sevilla, spain, tapas

≈ 16 Comments

. . . a housecall from nursemyra!

(and look what the Spanish sun has done to her hair!)

It started off as possibly disastrous when the bus I was supposed to take out to the airport to meet nursemyra didn’t show up, so I ended up being half an hour late. But as luck would have it, her flight from Barcelona had been delayed and so five minutes after I got there I saw the girl with red streaks in her hair coming out of the arrivals exit.

An hour or so later she was all set up in her adorable apartment and we got down to the very serious business of finding a COLD BEER in an air conditioned establishment … we chose Modesto as it was just around the corner. Afterwards we took a walk through the centre of town to a supermarket so nursemyra could stock up on a few kitchen essentials and then we went up to casa az so she could meet da boyz. Nog got home shortly after that and we all went out for a few tapitas at one of our favourite places, Enrique Becerra, which we hadn’t been to since before the op.

All in all, a lovely first day together. In keeping with the light & fluffly distraction theme we ended up talking about: family, friends, our homes, blogging, leaving home, hair, tv series, Barcelona, tapas & wine, architecture, work, books, films, icecream, cats, relationships, art, coffee . . .

Gee, I wonder what we’ll talk about today. 🙂

still adrift …

19 Thursday Jun 2008

Posted by in cancer, friends, health & happiness, home, hospitals, life stuff

≈ 13 Comments

Yesterday I was supposed to start chemo …

Since my operation in May I have been pretty much been living in limbo. It wasn’t so apparent during the first couple of weeks that I was recovering from surgery, but as soon as started feeling better I also started realising that this was just the first step. I still had to find out if the tumour that had been removed (along with a metre of my colon) was malignant and, if so, whether the cancer had spread.

Two weeks ago I was told the tumour was indeed malignant and a week later I had a CT scan to see if I was ‘clean’ or not. And yesterday I found out that I’m not. Or maybe I’m not. The CT scan showed a small lesion in my liver that may or may not be cancerous. [editor’s note: gaaaaaaa!!!]

I was told I would need a PET scan and if the lesion turned out to be malignant I would then require more surgery, followed by chemo. But in the meantime I was still scheduled to start chemo this Friday (I’d put it off for a couple of days so I could meet nursemyra at the airport today without feeling ill). But it still didn’t make sense to start chemo and then stop it for surgery – if it came to that – and then start all over again a few weeks later.

And so I went down to the nuclear medicine department to see about getting a PET scan. Happily I know some people there so it turned out that I can have a PET scan this Saturday and get the results back by Monday (yay!). And when I told my oncologist this she immediately agreed about putting off the chemo till next week, until we find out if I’m going to need more surgery or not.

So if all goes well and I only need the preventative chemo (fingers crossed!) then that will start on the day after daisyfae arrives, which would also be better timing.

Meanwhile, I’m back in limbo.

chatterbox

11 Wednesday Jun 2008

Posted by in friends, health & happiness, home, hospitals

≈ 5 Comments

This post is dedicated to Bosco, my favourite chatterbox.

You know how I’ve been going on lately about wanting light & fluffy distraction, how I’m not up for having visitors (except Pipocas), and even how I often won’t answer my phone these days? Well, there is another exception to all that and that’s my friend and student Bosco, the 30-year-old son of another student Paloma, who is a good friend of Dr A (aka guspemar).

It all started while I was still in hospital . . .

Continue reading →

muchas gracias

07 Saturday Jun 2008

Posted by in friends, health & happiness, home

≈ 10 Comments

Just wanted to say muchísimas gracias to all of you for your support. And an extra hug for those who are helping out with donations – you’ve really helped ease some of the extra stress, especially now that it looks like I’m going to be off work most of the summer …

I’ll be starting back with my classes on Monday in an attempt to at least make up the three weeks of classes I owe my students for May, as they were paid for in advance. And Nog has kindly agreed to help me by teaching my morning classes so that I’ll only have to do the afternoon ones. Phew!

For the past week I’ve been getting out for a walk every day. Well, more of a shuffle than a walk, but sometimes I’m out for a couple of hours or more. I’m still feeling a bit fragile and have a tendency to suddenly have to lie down now! but I am certainly making progress.

Well, except that since my appointment with the oncologist last Tuesday I seem to have lost my new found sense of serenity and worldly wisdom (from the ‘every day is a gift’ hospital epiphany) and have instead morphed into an emotional rollercoastering lunatic. I blame being thrown back into limbo for another couple of weeks after I thought I was about to get some real answers about my condition. Ah well, this too shall pass. But I’m telling ya, if one more person tells me to think positive and assures me that everything’s gonna be alright and that I just have to take it one day at a time I refuse to take responsibility for my actions. 😉

To wit, I am still not up to having visitors (except for Pipocas) and often don’t even answer the phone. It always ends up being the same conversation and I’m left feeling exhausted after ‘reliving’ it all again. Light and fluffy distraction is what I crave these days. I think I’m going to make a rule for my students next week that we can talk about anything but the operation and its aftermath.

Oops, time for another nap. Maybe I’m turning into a cat?

Thanks again, everyone! 🙂