Category Archives: health & happiness

day five

21 Monday Apr 2014

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day five

This morning with Morcilla in bed. I have to say it’s been Very Difficult staying at home and being an invalid, especially because other than painful feet and ankles I don’t actually feel bad. And lack of exercise has also made for sleepless nights (tomorrow I’m getting out my small hand weights). But as you can see, I am on the mend. Swelling has almost disappeared (other than the left ankle) and, although my entire right foot is still black and blue, the pain is just about bearable now. Aside from that first hour in the morning when everything feels like it seized up overnight, I can get around the house quite easily and I was even going to try a short walk on crutches today to meet up with Kyran & Claire, who are back in town. But then it started RAINING so I think I’ll leave going out until my lunchtime tapas tour tomorrow. Not only would I need a third hand to hold an umbrella but it’s probably not a good idea to take my first steps out on slippery pavement.

These past few days would have been a great opportunity to catch up on, well, all the things I need to catch up on. But I just couldn’t concentrate. And as silly as it sounds, it took a whole two days for me to stop feeling annoyed and sorry for myself that THIS HAD HAPPENED and that it had totally messed up my plans. On the other hand, these have mostly been “days off”, so while I didn’t get to do the stuff I wanted to, I also didn’t have to cancel any tapas tours. Peter took out yesterday’s clients, and I think I’ll be okay for tomorrow’s tour, so that was a blessing.

How was your weekend?

all bundled up

17 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by in friends, health & happiness, holidays

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bundled up
After a very long night with very little sleep I got up this morning and went AAAAAAARRRGHH!!! as I gingerly placed my feet on the floor in an attempt to get out of bed. Holy crap. It hadn’t occurred to me that the PAIN from yesterday’s accident could actually get worse. Which was when I started getting scared. I mean, at least last time I had one leg to stand on! Also, the more I shuffled around on two tortuous feet I could feel that my back was starting to go wonky. And the very last thing I need is excruciating back pain added to all this. So around midday I finally took up my friend Juan’s very generous offer to pick me up and drive me to the hospital.

The X-rays showed that my left ankle had a small fracture (!!!) but upon closer inspection it turned out that it was from the first time I sprained it three years ago (!!!!). Seriously… what?? I was walking around on that sucker (with crutches) after a couple of days, even doing tapas tours. I had no idea it was broken because I didn’t go to hospital that time. So when I was told today that I need to stay in and rest my ankle for two weeks… well, I don’t see that happening. Yes, obviously like right now when putting any weight on it at all makes me want to cry, I’ll be avoiding doing that as much as possible. But I hope to be (gently) out and about again after the weekend. The right foot is also badly sprained (thankfully nothing is broken) and so I ended up getting bandaged up like this and sent home with prescriptions for Ibuprofen and Paracetemol. Coming home we ran into a Semana Santa procession and Juan had to let me off where I could normally get home in 3-4 minutes. About 20 very-very-very painful minutes later I finally got home again and I’ve been slobbing out on the sofa ever since.

I was telling Juan that yesterday on the way home Peter had said “let’s go this way” and I said “no, let’s go this way, it’s shorter”…. if I’d gone Peter’s way this never would’ve happened. And then Juan said that if he wasn’t taking me to the hospital he might have been killed in a car accident that afternoon. Point taken. But especially yesterday I kept wishing that I could REWIND and take the other way home. Though of course I might have have been run over by a beer delivery truck…

Life, eh? How’s your week going?

ouch ouch ouch!

16 Wednesday Apr 2014

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ouch ouch ouch
Before you ask, no I didn’t slip on wax. But this was Semana Santa related as I was distracted by looking at a procession and didn’t see the gaping hole in the pavement. Down I went, not only respraining my left ankle but also spraining my right foot (!!!). Or at least I think – and hope – they are “just” sprains and that nothing is broken. The pain is frankly unbearable if I try to stand so the only “walking” I’m doing is to and from the bathroom (can’t avoid that). My friend Juan has offered to come over and drive me to the hospital but I honestly don’t think I can even make it down the stairs. Fuck.

h is for happy

09 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hope, hospitals

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h for happy
I don’t know why yesterday’s PET scan felt more – what? – meaningful, stressful, TERRIFYING. I mean, since I was first diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in May 2008 I’ve had more than a dozen of the fuckers, so why did this one feel so important? Maybe it’s because I’m nearing the all-important 5-YEAR mark, when I will “graduate” to having the scans less frequently and may also get the pesky chemo port removed. Or perhaps it’s because I’ve not actually been feeling very well lately, especially with abdominal issues. In any case, I was really feeling like this time I was about to get Bad News.

And then I didn’t.

I had arrived at the hospital bright and early yesterday, having opted to go on my own mostly because I don’t know anyone here who would really be of help if the worst thing happened. The best people I know for this are the friends who are actually working at the hospital. And with my trusty iPhone I can be in touch with all of you guys via Twitter. Believe me when I say that this is the biggest comfort I have when going through these tests. Knowing you’re all there. It means everything to me.

In a way it’s become quite routine, though things have changed a bit since Ricardo retired and Pilar has only been working part time. But at least Isabel is still there and, as always, she took care of me very well. This also means that I get my test results before leaving the hospital and don’t have to wait until whenever my next appointment with oncology happens. Anyhow, the routine is that I get injected with the radioactive isotope and have to wait awhile for it to be circulating before I get put into the machine. Then I have to lie still for about half an hour (which is ALWAYS the time I get an itchy nose or something similar). After that I am sent off to have some much needed coffee and some brekky while they have a look at the images. When I get back I either have to go through the machine a second time or else am told I can go. But not before I get my results.

After Isabel gave me the good news yesterday (all clear but I still have inflammation around the scar tissue) I walked home in the sunshine with happy tears streaming down my cheeks. Why on earth have I been so lucky? And why do I feel like this time is so different? Why do I still feel different since yesterday (and in a good way)? I really don’t know why or even how to explain this difference. All I know is that I’m Happy. With a capital H.

 

here I go again…

08 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by in cancer, health & happiness, hope, hospitals

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petexam… PET scan time! By the time many of you read this I’ll probably already be in the machine, since I have to be there early, around 7.45. The plan is to get home in time to do my lunchtime Sevilla Tapas Tour, which was booked long before I knew my scan date. Peter is on “standby” in case I get bad news as I rather doubt I’ll be in the mood to be sociable if that happens. As you can tell, scanxiety is much the same as always. Hoping for the best, terrified that I might hear the worst, wishing I’d eaten more broccoli, had drunk less wine, etc, etc.

But if all goes well this might be my last every-six-months scan, although I don’t “officially” hit the five-year mark until the end of July. If I do “graduate” to once-a-year scans then I think they may also remove the chemo port, which would be a relief. But I’m getting way ahead of myself. I just want to be okay. I know that I’ve been incredibly lucky so far. Please, please, please let my luck hold out some more. I really want to watch Morcilla grow up.

Fingers crossed everybody!