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Category Archives: life stuff

two years ago this week…

06 Thursday May 2010

Posted by azahar in cancer, life stuff

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

cancer, life stuff

…  my life changed forever.

On May 5th 2007 I woke up with serious abdominal pains that got worse as the day went on. By the end of the week I’d been sent home twice by the emergency doctors at the private hospital I’d gone to, with them refusing to do the ultrasound I’d asked for, telling me I just had gas pains. But when I went back on Saturday evening they finally realised it wasn’t a hairball and admitted me for observation and further testing. On Sunday around midnight I was transferred to the general hospital for an emergency operation. And a couple of weeks after that I was given the diagnosis – stage IV colon cancer with metastasis to the liver (later they discovered it had also spread to the peritoneum).

So it’s been a week of retrospection and introspection, but mostly it’s been a good week of being alive and feeling healthy. Unlike my friend Gaelen, I have yet to “beat the odds”. I was given a 50/50 chance of surviving for five years and I have to say that it feels pretty damned good to have reached the two-year mark. Meanwhile, the next PET scan is coming up next month and it always feels … well, scary as hell. But today the sun is shining and I am busy working on projects at home. Just letting you know where I am. And reminding myself to enjoy every moment as much as I can.

How are you enjoying today?

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random rambling update…

20 Tuesday Apr 2010

Posted by azahar in blogging, cats, health & happiness, home, life stuff, work

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

update

It’s Feria week here in Sevilla, which means all but one of my students has cancelled their classes. And tomorrow is a public holiday. So things are a bit slow. Not having my visit with Teuchter to look forward to (she and J would have been here Thursday) is still a bit sad, and I also won’t be needing the use of Manolo’s apartment in Málaga on Saturday. And no yoga this week! Due to illness (Mon) holiday (Wed) and Feria (Fri). Seriously, my gym has cancelled all their classes from Thursday – Saturday for Feria. Only in Sevilla!

Today I am finally feeling better after a rather nasty cold that suddenly hit on Friday afternoon. I haven’t  had such a bad cold in years and haven’t felt that sick since I was on chemo. That comparison may seem strange but what struck me was how feeling sick now comes with a lot of emotional baggage, especially to do with feelings of vulnerability. And then I found out that one of the most stalwart members on the Colon Club forum died, which kind of hit me hard. That old “walking time bomb” feeling just never goes away.

But while I am on the mend, poor Azar is still unwell. Not exactly like his last “mystery illness” in that he hasn’t gone all floppy and stopped eating. In fact, he is eating quite a lot. But he is doing the gagging and licking his lips thing again and has been throwing up quite a bit, mostly on the soft furnishings. Makes going to sleep with him on my pillow somewhat unsettling, though he does give enough warning so that the last two nights I’ve been able to grab him and hold his head over the edge of the bed before he heaved. Not great for getting a decent night’s sleep though. Anyhow, wondering whether to take him to the vet’s this afternoon or not. I’m tempted to wait it out another day as it may just be a bad case of hairballs, but tomorrow is a holiday. Advice please!

Been quite enjoying my new part-time job doing the social media thang, but I definitely need more “face time” with my client in order to do what I want with everything I’ve set up, especially as this is a trial month. I personally don’t feel pleased with the content and have a lot of half-done ideas waiting for either approval or more information, but I really want to make it work. I like this person a lot, I like the project and the subject matter. I just hope she allows us time to get a good working routine going.

In other work-related news, got my first (paid) tapas tour coming up next week, and I am also working on a couple of special tasting evenings based on specific foods. And someone who wrote me a Fan Email about Sevilla Tapas the other day offered to hire me to do … something. We just need to figure out what. Not as weird as it may sound, and I quite like this guy so I hope something works out.

How are things going with you?

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multi-tasking az is back!

04 Sunday Apr 2010

Posted by azahar in cancer, computers, internet, language, life stuff, work

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

cancer, life, work

Things are getting back to “normal” here again after the annual upheaval that is Semana Santa. Part of me really likes how everybody’s routines are totally disrupted during this week, even if they don’t attend any of the processions. I know that if I didn’t live next to the cathedral I wouldn’t bother going out to see them (though I did the first few years I lived here) and I know I would miss that. Sure, it’s a week of unpaid holidays and getting out my front door can sometimes be difficult because of the crowds, but it’s also kind of refreshing to have things shaken up a bit. As usual, this year all of my students (all = 4) cancelled classes for the week, but I ended up working more than ever…

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alternate universe

31 Wednesday Mar 2010

Posted by azahar in change, life stuff

≈ 18 Comments

So, what is your alternate universe self doing right now?

Mine is probably living in New York, married to Al Pacino and running a contemporary dance company.  And of course she is cancer free.

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out on a limb

25 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by azahar in cancer, change, life stuff

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

life


Me today … and pretty much the past few weeks.

Just so you know that it ain’t all kittens.

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