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casa azahar

~ my life in sevilla

casa azahar

Tag Archives: life

calmosedan

09 Thursday Aug 2012

Posted by azahar in animals & pets, cancer, cats, death & dying, love

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

cats, death, life, love

Bought some of this today…

I was hoping to get something I could inject but was told that wouldn’t be legal. I can see that. But apparently if I give Azar two of these “when his time comes” then he’ll be so drowsy that he won’t know he’s on his way to the vet’s.

I also bought some wet food hoping that might pique his interest a bit. And then picked up some asparagus on the way home.

Now I’m going to bed early because these days that’s the only time Azar will come out from under the bed. When he knows I’m there lying down and ready to give him a cuddle just how he likes it. He also lets me feed him in bed. Little weirdo. Well, whatever it takes. Even getting up for 3am feedings.

Because it’s not quite his time yet.

resting comfortably

02 Thursday Aug 2012

Posted by azahar in animals & pets, cancer, cats

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

azar, cancer, cats, death, life, love


The heart of my heart, the love of my life, the… well, you get the picture. This is the most beloved little being I’ve ever known. He owns my heart and has taught me to be a good and caring person. And he’s dying. Yes, mostly of old age but now sooner due to idiot vet giving him his first vaccination at age 15 in a place that was sure to give him a malignant sarcoma. And it did. The tumour has almost doubled in size in the past few weeks. And Azar spends more and more time alone, avoiding everyone, except at night when he still comes up onto my bed to cuddle and even sleep on my head. I can’t stand it guys.

I feel like I’m losing him fast and… I can’t stand it.

gaelen & azahar

19 Thursday Jul 2012

Posted by azahar in welcome

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

cancer, death, friends, life, pat steer, trees

This was so timely! About a month or so ago my friend and neighbour Flor (aka Flor de Jardín) told me she had a lovely orange tree that she wanted to give me, to put in the very beautiful, and massive, ornate clay pot that had been left behind by previous tenant Rafael. This is in part because Flor will be spending more time at her wonderful property in the Algarve and less at her place here, at least for now. So she has been giving some of her plants away to people she knew would appreciate and care for them.

And so today was the day. Mostly because it coincided with Flor having arranged for her friend to carry the tree over from her place (about a block away) and lug it up the stairs to my terrace. And then we set about getting it re-homed in a manner that Flor was happy about. This meant having previously drilled proper drainage holes in the bottom of this large clay beast and then buying bags and bags of earth early this morning, and still not having quite enough but I can top it up a bit later. It also meant finding the perfect spot, which ended up being next to the dining table and out of the direct blazing sun (though it still gets plenty of light!). It’s hard to see in this great photo with Flor, but the part where the top of the tree is out of sight is actually an open space between that pillar and the wall of the house. So lots of room to grow.

Of course Flor knew I was the perfect person for this beautiful tree because it meant that I could finally have my very own azahar…

And it was only after Flor and her helpers left when it occurred to me that this would be Pat’s tree too. You know how people plant trees or have park benches installed in the name of a lost loved one? Well, this orange tree will be my memorial to Pat. Gaelen & azahar – which is how we knew each other when we first met –  together on a sunny Sevilla rooftop.

I know this would have made Pat smile.

pat

18 Wednesday Jul 2012

Posted by azahar in cancer, death & dying, friends, life stuff

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

cancer, death, friends, life, love


You changed my life and I’ll always love you, Pat.
My friend, my sister, my hero…

happy mondays

16 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by azahar in cancer, death & dying, friends, life stuff, love

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

cancer, death, friends, life, mondays

Awhile ago I created a #happymondays Twitter hashtag to greet people with on Monday mornings, since so many people seem to really hate Mondays. But not me. I always see Monday as a fresh start to a new week full of possibilities. I reckon it’s probably 50/50 the number of people I either annoy or cheer up with my whole Happy Monday thing, but what the heck, it’s fun.

Then this morning I woke up and, as usual, had a look through my emails on the iPhone while still in bed. And I got the news I’ve been dreading for some time now, though it still hit me like a ton of bricks, that my friend Pat is in hospital and “fading fast”, heavily sedated due to being in so much pain. In a flash I went from not wanting to lose her to wishing she would let go soon so that she wouldn’t be suffering anymore. And then I decided I would have a Happy Monday anyhow, or as much as I could manage through my tears, because I knew Pat would like that. Going out for a walk now…

How’s your Monday been so far?

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